Post by Vhodka Marie on Aug 30, 2020 18:12:27 GMT -5
[DISCLAIMER: The following has no relation to the “Find Me” story. I just didn’t use my three brain cells when making my account]
A dial tone drones on in the blackness before the pulsing sound of numbers being hit, the line connects and begins to ring as we see a tight closeup on a feminine mouth. Click. Someone’s answered.
“I’m ready to talk.”
Silence stretches uncomfortably from the other side of the phone as the view switches to the same tight closeup of a much more masculine mouth. The lips pursed tightly together as the person on the other end of the line absorbs the impact of this particular call.
“Where?”
As the shot switches back to the feminine caller we see the lips curl into a small smirk. It felt good to hear his voice after all these years, it felt like coming home. She hadn’t been entirely sure he would answer and if he did she was even less sure that he’d come.
“You know. 1 hour. I’ll be there.”
The line goes dead in his ear. Yeah, he knew.
The Dusty Clam was once upon a time a very happening place but that time had long ago expired. These days you were lucky to get in and out without being pulled into a drunken brawl by a couple of oversized, under intellected bikers looking for some excitement on a Thursday night. This was a place she’d spent a lot of time at once in her life but now it was as strange and uncomfortable as the face that looked back at her in the reflection of the dirty mirror across the bar. But still, it would suit her purposes fine tonight. Her eyes darted to the door as a swath of light from the setting sun cut harshly across the smoke filled room, the glow framing the man in the door as he paused to let his eyes adjust to the dimness of the interior of the bar. He came.
Damon Riggs was older now than when they first met, harder somehow. What had the last ten years been like for him? For all of them? She shoved the thought back down inside of her, it wouldn’t make any difference now. Yet still, the guilt ate at her in ways she never would have admitted aloud to another soul. She’d abandoned them. Would they be angry? Would they turn away now once and for all? Questions she had rolled around in her mind for a decade, no more answers now than there had been then. Damon approached the bar, taking in the oversized black sweater obscuring most of her body and the trembling hands grasping a mug of some steamed liquid between them, only the finest tremor giving away how unsteady she actually was. And then there was that. The eyepatch cut across the porcelain triangle of her face like some ugly crack disappearing under the orange of her hair.
His face was unreadable as he took the stool beside her and the two turned face to face, knees barely brushing against one another. She lowered her face, not having the strength to look at him head on after all these years. Coward. For his part, he’d noticed the subtle shift in her demeanor, he’d need to be careful in his approach, this new Vhodka was much more fragile than the woman he had once known. Fresh guilt washed over him with the knowledge that he’d at least in part been responsible for this.
Damon Riggs: Your eye.
Vhodka Marie: Yeah..
An ocean of silence stretched between the two. Neither quite ready to address the proverbial elephant in the room.
Damon Riggs: Show me.
She knew this was coming but it still caught her off guard. She’d spent years thinking about this moment, replaying how it might occur over and over in her mind. Slowly she lifted shaking hands toward her face, if he noticed how unsteady she was he was merciful enough not to comment on it. Her tattooed fingers laid lightly over the smooth leather of the patch, tentatively at first, and then more firmly as Vhodka gathered some invisible force left over from a previous life and strengthened her resolve. Now or never, V. She sucked in a big breath as she ripped the leather patch away from her face.
He wasn’t sure what to expect when that patch fell away, wasn’t sure if he wanted to see the damage he had felt so responsible for all these years or if he wanted to beg her to leave it on. At first, his eyes refused to make sense of what they were seeing. Red, blue, silver, gold - a metallic technicolor avalanche falling from behind the patch to drift gently down to the sticky floor below them. Confetti. Fucking confetti.
Damon Riggs: I see you haven’t lost your sense of humor.
He snarled it as surely as any insult he had ever slung but he couldn't hide the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Vhodka finally grinned then, wiggling her eyebrows at him as she absentmindedly tossed the eyepatch on the bar.
Vhodka Marie: Oh my god, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that. You should have seen the look on your face! Classic.
Damon wanted to be outraged but he couldn’t find it within himself, not even enough to convincingly fake it, he was just too happy to see her.
Damon Riggs: I’m glad you drug me all the way out here after a decade for a practical joke. Very mature of you.
Vhodka picked a couple of pieces of wayward confetti from her sweater as her face transformed from childish humor to something more serious.
Vhodka Marie: I guess I owe you an explanation. I know you must have worried when I disappeared and you couldn’t find me. You all must have been so terribly worried for so long..
Damon Riggs: Honey, we knew where you were.
Vhodka looked up, shock showing plainly on her face.
Vhodka Marie: What do you mean you knew where I was?!
It was Damon’s turn to smile now. It was like no time had passed at all - like nothing bad had ever happened. They were still friends, no, no, more than that, they were still family.
Damon Riggs: Do you really think we woke up one morning and found you gone and didn’t go looking for you? Hell, did you really think Vincent wouldn’t have burned down entire cities single handedly to find you if he thought you were in danger?
Vhodka shifted on the stool uncomfortably. What had she thought? That was the problem, those days were a scramble in her mind. After the attack, the surgery, she wasn’t quite herself and she certainly wasn’t thinking all that clearly. She just knew that she had to go. And if she would have told anyone her plans they never would have let her, so she disappeared in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on her back. The divorce had been fast tracked and concluded by that point - the only real thing that had needed doing was sorting out Kamilah. She knew it was for the best, all of it, for Kamilah. Alexis had always wanted children of her own and she was always the most well adjusted of the bunch. Vhodka’s mind wandered back to that night as she had knocked on Alexis' door, Kamilah wrapped in a blanket in her arms. It was late and she was so tired, everything that had happened had taken a toll on the little girl. Vhodka remembered crying in the car on the way there, quiet sobs racking her body as she glanced back in the rear view mirror at her daughter sleeping soundly in the backseat. It’s the right thing.
Alexis had been confused when she found them on the other side of the door, she knew something was wrong but Vhodka had always been so strong she had just assumed she would pull through this like she did everything else. Only a little voice in the back of Alexis' head kept screaming over and over on a loop: “this time is different.”
Vhodka had shuffled Kami off into Alexis' arms almost as soon as she opened the door. The girl moved restlessly as she handed her off, she had to do this before she woke up. The confusion showed on Alexis’ face as Vhodka made up some excuse that she couldn’t even remember anymore and practically ran back to the car - leaving behind the two most important people in the world to her sleepy and disoriented in the darkened doorway. The thought came to her clearly: you abandoned them.
Damon Riggs: Hey, Vhod, you in there?
Damon wiggled his fingers in front of her eyes trying to get her attention, hoping to snap her out of wherever she had gone in her mind. Vhodka might have tried to play it off earlier as if she was acting for a joke, but Damon could tell it wasn’t entirely an act.
Vhodka Marie: What? Yeah, I’m fine.
Damon Riggs: You’ve never been fine a day in your life. You’re a nut, kid.
Damon reached up with a grin to gently knock on the side of her head. He wanted her to laugh, and she did. He didn’t want her to go back to wherever she had been only a moment before.
Vhodka Marie: So, where are you?
Damon Riggs: Well, I’m currently sitting in a shitty run down bar with confetti stuck to my boots.
He glanced at the bartender.
Damon Riggs: No offense.
Vhodka Marie: You know that isn’t what I meant.
It was Damon’s turn to shift uncomfortably. Yeah, he knew what she meant.
Damon Riggs: Outlaw Pro Wrestling.
Vhodka considered this, letting the words hang heavy in the air.
Vhodka Marie: Outlaw. Makes sense, as I am one.
Damon Riggs: We’ve always been outlaws..
Vhodka Marie: No, I’m serious, I literally killed a man last week. I think I’m a wanted fugitive.
Damon shook his head disgustedly as she reached into the pocket of her jeans and produced something that looked like at one time might have been an iPhone. The screen was a spider web of cracks and the back looked suspiciously like it was being held together by a piece of duct tape. Damon’s face was a mixture of fascination and horror as he watched her tap on the screen a few times and begin to scroll.
Vhodka Marie: Jesus Christ, I know like 98% of this roster! What is this, where run down old wrestlers go to die?
Damon Riggs: It’s where the bes-
Vhodka cut him off with an eye roll, her voice deepening to mock Damon’s.
Vhodka Marie: It’s where the best of the best have gathered to fight it out, air old grievances and decide once and for all who really is the top dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it Old Man Riggs. Jeez, get some new material.
Damon Riggs: I’m going now. Nice to see you, don’t burn the place down when I leave.
Damon moves to stand as Vhodka reaches out to grab his arm.
Vhodka Marie: Alright, alright! Geesh! So touchy.
Her words were flippant but the grip on his arm was almost panicked. He hadn’t intended to really leave but the tension that sang down her arm was enough to settle him back on the stool. She relaxed then, a little. Her hand trailing down his arm as she let go, but not before he caught it in his own with a squeeze. She had seemed almost larger than life back then but now Damon couldn’t help but be struck by how small her hand was in his. She looked up at him then, giving him the first eye contact she had made since he walked into that bar. Her blue eyes were suddenly filled with some unreadable expression.
Vhodka Marie: I’m sorry. Damon, I’m so sorry.
Her eyes glistened as she held tight to his hand like it was the last solid thing in the world. For all he knew, for Vhodka, maybe it was.
Damon Riggs: Yeah, me too, kid.
Vhodka Marie: I just needed to go, I-I-I -
Her voice rose an octave and her eyes went wild as her mind struggled through some invisible minefield he could only guess at.
Damon Riggs: Hey, hey. Stop. It’s okay. You don’t have to explain to me. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m just glad to see you.
Damon’s thumb brushed across the back of her hand in soothing circles, willing her to calm. It was hard to keep up with the shifting in her moods - one minute the same old Vhodka, the next this new person, and no way of knowing what would set her off. Vhodka had to do better than this, she knew it. If she couldn’t sit here with him and do this now then how could she ever expect to face anyone else. Get it together, V. Get it together. She smiled weakly at him, giving his hand a final squeeze before releasing it.
Vhodka Marie: I can’t imagine Vinnie will be as understanding.
Damon Riggs: Spoken like someone who truly knows him.
They shared a small chuckle at that.
Damon Riggs: Just tell me one thing, Vhod. Why? Why now? After all these years.
Vhodka looked down, clasping her hands in her lap.
Vhodka Marie: I have cancer.
Damon Riggs: Are you ever serious?
Vhodka Marie: Alright, alright. I need money.
Damon Riggs: Despite that abomination you call a phone, I know that’s not true. Try again.
Vhodka Marie: I’ve got something to prove.
Damon Riggs: Ah, there it is. Now, that’s more like it.
Vhodka scrunched her nose up and stuck her tongue out at him.
Damon Riggs: To who?
Vhodka Marie: Myself. Everyone.
Damon Riggs: You know things aren’t the same as they used to be. You’ve been gone a long time, a lot has happened while you’ve been in the wind.
Vhodka Marie: Yeah? Like what?
Damon grinned widely this time. He’d enjoy this, savor the moment.
Damon Riggs: Oh, no. I wouldn’t dream of spoiling all the fun for you. Come back and find out for yourself.
She’d expected that. Damon did always like to hoard secrets, she suspected it gave him a sense of power to know that he knew something someone else didn’t.
Vhodka Marie: It’s not going to be like last time. No Bryan, no Nightmare Family. Just me, on my own two feet.
Damon Riggs: Sweetheart, you’ve never needed anyone else. But know the pack always has your back, whenever you need it.
Damon stood then, ruffling her hair with his hand like a little league coach teasing his favorite player as she swatted at him.
Damon Riggs: See you around, Vhod.
He turned to leave, thought better of it and turned back around.
Damon Riggs: But this time, no penguins.
And with that parting shot he was off moving through the haze filled room toward the door. He stopped only once, with his hand on the door, looking back one last time at the ghost still sitting on the bar stool. She’d do.