Post by lajohnnystylez on Sept 7, 2020 16:40:14 GMT -5
Taj Escobar:Well ladies and gentlemen, as we get ready for one of our biggest Main Events here on Monday Night Showa$e I really think we should pause briefly and think about what it is we are about to watch, and kind of think about how far we have all come in just six months.
Mason Moore: Yeah when you think of the level of talent that has come and gone..But the faces that have shown up here over the last two months have turned us into a pro wrestling empire. As we are able to bring you all dream matches that span generations.
VooDoo; And on the eve of our biggest show to date I think we should just...I said I thi....What the hell is going on?
Suddenly a huge streak of lighting strikes in the center of the ring and
VhodKa MaRie: Well, well, well, this must be OPW.
I was told that OPW stood for Outlaw Professional Wrestling but from where I’m standing it looks a lot more like it stands for Only Pussies Wrestling. Cause I have to be honest guys, ever since I walked in the door I can’t help but notice it smell like bitch in here. And no, I’m not just talking about that curdled milk smell that lingers in the air when Apathy leaves a room. Now, don’t get your panties in a bunch, we don’t need anyone else coming down with a yeast infection - I think the Syndacunt’s have the market cornered on undesirable vaginal secretions. Come to think of it, Undesirable Vaginal Secretion is actually what I used to call Xavier back in the day so it’s really quite fitting.
For those of you fans and people in the back who don’t know me, my name is Vhodka Marie and I am from a different time. I was around before The Cinnabons and The Wolfpack even existed, around before half the people on this roster even had the slightest inkling that they may find themselves in the position they now do. Back in my time, VooDoo was just someone's slave - not even her own woman yet. I was there when she was kidnapped from her former master and when she went on to marry Vincent Black - who you probably know as Vincent Wolf, but again, I predate that little change. I was there when Stephen Stratford was just some sad little Hot Topic reject getting his foot in the door. I was there when Blair Buchannan had at least 3% dignity and Miss Michelle had a career literally anyone cared about. So, you’ll have to forgive me if my perception of things around here is a little different than the rest of yours.
I’ve been sitting around for a few weeks, watching the goings on here in this precious little place and I’ve gotta say - pretty embarrassed for all of you. Most of you will be dealt with in time but tonight I want to focus on something close to my heart and that's The Wolfpack. Well, not like the *actual* Wolfpack but this sad watered down version that’s been running around here since the doors to this place opened. Now, I am not related to The Wolfpack by blood or marriage but I have been known to be fairly Wolfpack adjacent. I remember what it WAS in its prime.
Let's talk about some of the original members of The Wolfpack, eh? First and foremost, Vincent Black, let me tell you about Vincent Black. Vincent Black was a baaaad motherfucker, Vincent Black was the man you called in when you wanted cold hard ruthlessness and no one else was dispassionate enough. Vincent Black was the guy everyone else thought was a Phreeq. When it came time to liberate VooDoo from her “master” do you know the only man dangerous enough to keep her safe? That was Vincent Black. But now, in this timeline, you have this guy named Vincent Wolf parading around in the once great shadow of Vincent Black. But the problem is, Vincent Wolf is NOTHING like Vincent Black. Vincent Wolf works house shows and sweeps the floor up afterwards. Vincent Wolf sits at barbeques with people who spit in his face and stab him in the back pretending it’s all just hunky dory. And yeah, I get it, they’re family or whatever but I guess i’m just struggling because the man I know wouldn’t tolerate that level of disrespect from anyone and to receive it from his own brother? That would have made it even worse.
Vincent, I know you’re listening somewhere off in the distance. I had intended to seek you out, take you up to our traditional spot and have a private conversation with you about the past ten years and we can still do that sometime but right now, I think this is what is necessary. I have to ask you, man, what’s the deal? I know you. And maybe because I don’t have a decade of memories clouding my view of you I might just be the last person around here who remembers who you really are. I see you playing it cool on the surface, acting like everything is fine and going to plan but I know somewhere down inside you, you’re angry. You’re angry that the once great Wolfpack has spent most of their time in OPW against the ropes, damn near beaten into mediocrity by someone like Johnny Stylez. And sure, you puff your chest out and say all the right words and go through the motions but you and I both know that you’re holding back. I know that you have to be absolutely rage filled about what X and Anicka are doing, I know because nothing pushes our buttons quite like family, does it? Yet, where is it? It seems nowhere to be found when you’re passing around the potato salad at the family barbeques. I mean, you’re really going to take shit off of ANICKA SWAN? What’s that about? Are you just trying to keep the peace in your house because of how close Ani and Voo are? I mean, I know I’m not anyone particularly special and I have no real bonds to any of you than friendships that likely aren’t even intact after all these years but I guess I just don’t see it. Look, I’m not coming in here looking to pick a fight with you, that’s not my intentions. But what I do want to know is if it was even really worth me coming back in the first place. If you of all people have given up and decided to ride out the remaining years putting in minimal effort then should I really be hopeful anyone else here has any fight left in them?
Vhodka looks down in thought before shaking her head.
Damon Riggs is another one of the original Pack members and as you can see, that’s a bond that has survived a lot of years. Damon is actually the man who many years ago happened upon a couple of girls just stepping into adulthood with a lot of mouth and a big chip on their shoulders. He saw something in us and brought us into this business in the first place. Damon Havok Riggs in those days was one of the top dogs in the business, nobody messed with Damon because they knew what the consequences would be. Nowadays? Damon’s in the back getting not only beat up by Stratford - a kid who couldn’t even shine his boots back in the day, but totally manipulated and played by him. Damon, you know I love you, but what happened? Did you just get old? Did you stop trying? Have you just lost it?
Vhodka shakes her head turning towards the commentary area.
But the one that insults me the most is you, VooDoo. I don’t know if its my genuine affection for you or maybe if it’s just the feminist in me but I find your situation particularly hard to swallow. VooDoo was one of the most absolutely dangerous women who has ever stepped foot into this business. She was feared. And sure, she had a rough start, men treated her like their little pet for a very long time but then a funny thing happened. She was freed and she absolutely transformed. You give me VooDoo in her prime and I would bet my life she could take on any person in this federation and win, man or woman. I know what you’ll say - “I’ve done it all! I’ve held all the belts! I’ve proved everything I had to prove!” and while those things may be true I want you to take a minute and stop and really look at yourself, shoved over there behind a commentary desk. Have you really come that far from your beginnings as someone's pet? Or do you just belong to yet another man who uses you in whatever way he sees fit and then throws you back where he likes you when he’s done? You could run this entire place but instead you’re sitting there like the wife relegated to the kitchen during boys night. Makes me sad, honestly.
Lastly, I guess Allison Riggs counts as an original member too but she was still learning how to use the big girl potty back in those days so she gets a pass for now. All the rest of them aren’t particularly important right now and this has already gone longer than I intended but what I really came out here to say, what the whole point of this little diatribe was this - I want you all to consider this your formal notice: Vhodka is back.
Just then the camera flashes back to the announce table and literally all of them are just glaring right back at you with their mouths wide open in clear and utter shock...We just sit in awkward dead air until the camera switches back to Vhodka as one of the camera men is seen whispering to her about the awkward silene she has caused save the fans making it sound like its a literal mad house inside the War Memorial Stadium. So Vhodka looks over at the announce table and chuckles at their goofy expressions as the camera then gets a close up of her as she quickly runs the tips of her fingers across the throat and we see her mouth the words....CUT...GO AHEAD AND CUT IT! Then she smiles sarcastically as she says...And WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS....And the scene fades out to a commerial for STAIRWAY2HEAVEN as you all soak in what just happned...Cause yeah...Like the lady just F'N SaiD
Mason Moore: Yeah when you think of the level of talent that has come and gone..But the faces that have shown up here over the last two months have turned us into a pro wrestling empire. As we are able to bring you all dream matches that span generations.
VooDoo; And on the eve of our biggest show to date I think we should just...I said I thi....What the hell is going on?
Suddenly a huge streak of lighting strikes in the center of the ring and
~{+~}~~}~~ZZZZZZZZAAAAAPPPPPPPP ~{{}~~~~{}~~~~
Suddenly every light in the arena goes out. The fans in the stands are sent into a frenzy when suddenly a single light shines in the center of the ring. And sitting there Indian style is the FireKiSSeD ViXEn who has been randomly been bopping aroun throughout the night. Incase you aren familiar with this tattoted covered, foul mouthed, irrevrent , icon of a woman is...Her name is Vhodka Marie...and there is a reason these fans have lost their minds everytime they have seen her...But don't worry she is finna tell yall all about it...Don't believe me...JUSSSsSST LISTEN!
VhodKa MaRie: Well, well, well, this must be OPW.
I was told that OPW stood for Outlaw Professional Wrestling but from where I’m standing it looks a lot more like it stands for Only Pussies Wrestling. Cause I have to be honest guys, ever since I walked in the door I can’t help but notice it smell like bitch in here. And no, I’m not just talking about that curdled milk smell that lingers in the air when Apathy leaves a room. Now, don’t get your panties in a bunch, we don’t need anyone else coming down with a yeast infection - I think the Syndacunt’s have the market cornered on undesirable vaginal secretions. Come to think of it, Undesirable Vaginal Secretion is actually what I used to call Xavier back in the day so it’s really quite fitting.
For those of you fans and people in the back who don’t know me, my name is Vhodka Marie and I am from a different time. I was around before The Cinnabons and The Wolfpack even existed, around before half the people on this roster even had the slightest inkling that they may find themselves in the position they now do. Back in my time, VooDoo was just someone's slave - not even her own woman yet. I was there when she was kidnapped from her former master and when she went on to marry Vincent Black - who you probably know as Vincent Wolf, but again, I predate that little change. I was there when Stephen Stratford was just some sad little Hot Topic reject getting his foot in the door. I was there when Blair Buchannan had at least 3% dignity and Miss Michelle had a career literally anyone cared about. So, you’ll have to forgive me if my perception of things around here is a little different than the rest of yours.
I’ve been sitting around for a few weeks, watching the goings on here in this precious little place and I’ve gotta say - pretty embarrassed for all of you. Most of you will be dealt with in time but tonight I want to focus on something close to my heart and that's The Wolfpack. Well, not like the *actual* Wolfpack but this sad watered down version that’s been running around here since the doors to this place opened. Now, I am not related to The Wolfpack by blood or marriage but I have been known to be fairly Wolfpack adjacent. I remember what it WAS in its prime.
Let's talk about some of the original members of The Wolfpack, eh? First and foremost, Vincent Black, let me tell you about Vincent Black. Vincent Black was a baaaad motherfucker, Vincent Black was the man you called in when you wanted cold hard ruthlessness and no one else was dispassionate enough. Vincent Black was the guy everyone else thought was a Phreeq. When it came time to liberate VooDoo from her “master” do you know the only man dangerous enough to keep her safe? That was Vincent Black. But now, in this timeline, you have this guy named Vincent Wolf parading around in the once great shadow of Vincent Black. But the problem is, Vincent Wolf is NOTHING like Vincent Black. Vincent Wolf works house shows and sweeps the floor up afterwards. Vincent Wolf sits at barbeques with people who spit in his face and stab him in the back pretending it’s all just hunky dory. And yeah, I get it, they’re family or whatever but I guess i’m just struggling because the man I know wouldn’t tolerate that level of disrespect from anyone and to receive it from his own brother? That would have made it even worse.
Vincent, I know you’re listening somewhere off in the distance. I had intended to seek you out, take you up to our traditional spot and have a private conversation with you about the past ten years and we can still do that sometime but right now, I think this is what is necessary. I have to ask you, man, what’s the deal? I know you. And maybe because I don’t have a decade of memories clouding my view of you I might just be the last person around here who remembers who you really are. I see you playing it cool on the surface, acting like everything is fine and going to plan but I know somewhere down inside you, you’re angry. You’re angry that the once great Wolfpack has spent most of their time in OPW against the ropes, damn near beaten into mediocrity by someone like Johnny Stylez. And sure, you puff your chest out and say all the right words and go through the motions but you and I both know that you’re holding back. I know that you have to be absolutely rage filled about what X and Anicka are doing, I know because nothing pushes our buttons quite like family, does it? Yet, where is it? It seems nowhere to be found when you’re passing around the potato salad at the family barbeques. I mean, you’re really going to take shit off of ANICKA SWAN? What’s that about? Are you just trying to keep the peace in your house because of how close Ani and Voo are? I mean, I know I’m not anyone particularly special and I have no real bonds to any of you than friendships that likely aren’t even intact after all these years but I guess I just don’t see it. Look, I’m not coming in here looking to pick a fight with you, that’s not my intentions. But what I do want to know is if it was even really worth me coming back in the first place. If you of all people have given up and decided to ride out the remaining years putting in minimal effort then should I really be hopeful anyone else here has any fight left in them?
Vhodka looks down in thought before shaking her head.
Damon Riggs is another one of the original Pack members and as you can see, that’s a bond that has survived a lot of years. Damon is actually the man who many years ago happened upon a couple of girls just stepping into adulthood with a lot of mouth and a big chip on their shoulders. He saw something in us and brought us into this business in the first place. Damon Havok Riggs in those days was one of the top dogs in the business, nobody messed with Damon because they knew what the consequences would be. Nowadays? Damon’s in the back getting not only beat up by Stratford - a kid who couldn’t even shine his boots back in the day, but totally manipulated and played by him. Damon, you know I love you, but what happened? Did you just get old? Did you stop trying? Have you just lost it?
Vhodka shakes her head turning towards the commentary area.
But the one that insults me the most is you, VooDoo. I don’t know if its my genuine affection for you or maybe if it’s just the feminist in me but I find your situation particularly hard to swallow. VooDoo was one of the most absolutely dangerous women who has ever stepped foot into this business. She was feared. And sure, she had a rough start, men treated her like their little pet for a very long time but then a funny thing happened. She was freed and she absolutely transformed. You give me VooDoo in her prime and I would bet my life she could take on any person in this federation and win, man or woman. I know what you’ll say - “I’ve done it all! I’ve held all the belts! I’ve proved everything I had to prove!” and while those things may be true I want you to take a minute and stop and really look at yourself, shoved over there behind a commentary desk. Have you really come that far from your beginnings as someone's pet? Or do you just belong to yet another man who uses you in whatever way he sees fit and then throws you back where he likes you when he’s done? You could run this entire place but instead you’re sitting there like the wife relegated to the kitchen during boys night. Makes me sad, honestly.
Lastly, I guess Allison Riggs counts as an original member too but she was still learning how to use the big girl potty back in those days so she gets a pass for now. All the rest of them aren’t particularly important right now and this has already gone longer than I intended but what I really came out here to say, what the whole point of this little diatribe was this - I want you all to consider this your formal notice: Vhodka is back.
Just then the camera flashes back to the announce table and literally all of them are just glaring right back at you with their mouths wide open in clear and utter shock...We just sit in awkward dead air until the camera switches back to Vhodka as one of the camera men is seen whispering to her about the awkward silene she has caused save the fans making it sound like its a literal mad house inside the War Memorial Stadium. So Vhodka looks over at the announce table and chuckles at their goofy expressions as the camera then gets a close up of her as she quickly runs the tips of her fingers across the throat and we see her mouth the words....CUT...GO AHEAD AND CUT IT! Then she smiles sarcastically as she says...And WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS....And the scene fades out to a commerial for STAIRWAY2HEAVEN as you all soak in what just happned...Cause yeah...Like the lady just F'N SaiD
~$~ VHoDKa'$ BaCK ~$~