Post by jasonryan on May 20, 2021 17:51:43 GMT -5
We see Jason Ryan sitting in an interview area holding a cigar and a shot glass full of whisky. Ira Stevenson sits in a chair next to the couch tending to his client. Across from them is a woman OPW reporter.
Hello everyone and welcome to an exclusive OPW interview. Please welcome my guest at this time, Jason Ryan. Jason, thank you for agreeing to this interview, how are you today?
As Jason slowly removes his sunglasses Ira begins to scold the interviewer
Who do you think you are? How dare you use this man's first name? This is the Diamond of the Industry, the Franchise of OPW. This is the All-Mighty, the Game Changer. This is The Dreamkiller, the face of Hollywood. And you dare address him by his first name? You dare address a two time double champion, a two time world champion from other federations, a former triple champion? How dare you! You will try this again, you will address my client, only by Mister Ryan or there is no interview. Do you understand?
The interviewer is clearly put off as she tries to ask Jason another question
Jas-Mister Ryan, you wrestled Dark Tiger in a 2/3 Jokers Wild match where you came up a little bit short. Can I get your thoughts?
Jason says nothing in response, instead throwing his drink in the interviewer's face. As she frantically wipes her face with a towel Ira refills his glass.
Get out.
With a huff the interviewer storms out. Jason picks up the glass and stares into it.
Let's get one thing clear. I don't watch this business. This business watches me, everyone watches me, I don't watch anyone else. Because no one is able to hold my interest or attention. So when I say I had to look up who it was that got involved in my match, I am not lying. I am furious, I had Dork Tigger right where I wanted him. I was kicking the ever living piss out of him, getting ready to pin him. And then, I was gonna throw that bitch of his off the stage. Just because I think it'd be funny seeing someone get married wearing a neck brace. But Jackoff Bertha and the Sugar High Wannabe Bloodline-
Pardon me my eventual champion but I believe their names are Josiah Black and Caffeine Mafia.
Honestly, nobody cares Ira. I've never heard of Josiah Black as for Caffeine Mafia, well, they're so goddamn horrible they caused the tag titles to lose relevance. I had forgotten we had tag straps because of their dry and stale promo work and their matches which they do the same damn moves each and every time. Hell, they matter so little, I don't know their names. Do you know?
No because I don't look up ordinary people.
Look I don't know what their problem is or why they decided to step to me but I promise they're pay for it. When this whole thing between me and Dark Tiger got started it was just me making a statement that I am back and I am the future of this industry and people like Dark Tiger aren't fit to lick my boot. They aren't worthy to share the ring with me. Ever since I came back I have kicked the shit out of that overgrown toddler who still doesn't know how to properly lock in a chokehold. Looks like his father who was also a wrestler, never bothered to teach his dipshit son. Probably because he ran out on the family when he saw what a failure his son was but regardless. I throw him off a balcony, I have verbally decimated him on more than one occasion, he can't hang with me on the mic, if you listen to his rambling, stuttering, tripe he calls promos you'd know that. I have beaten him in the middle of the ring and unlike him, I didn't need help. Then again, he's used to needing help, his mother dresses him still and he hasn't learned how to tie his shoes yet. And for the love of God, get him a speech therapist! The point is, I have made him my bitch ever since coming back, no one knew who the fuck he was until I started kicking his ass for my sheer entertainment. If it weren't for me, nobody would know who the fuck he is.
And it's not like they do, they just know him as the guy you have humiliated week after week.
True.
Jason drains the glass of whisky and takes a thoughtful drag of his cigar
And now he gets a shot at Ryan Elias for the Prestige title. That should be me, no one deserves that shot except me. And now I'm supposed to just watch this curtain/ circle jerker fucker get the shot I have earned? No, I refuse. This is how it's going to go. Either I am inserted in that match or I face the winner in no more than two weeks time, or I ruin the Prestige title match. Those are my terms OPW. I expect your answer in 24 hours, since you don't want to answer my tweets or DMs, what do I not matter to you all of the sudden? Those are my conditions, don't try to compromise, you're lucky I don't have Ira file an injunction for such brazen disrespect of your hottest young talent.
Jason throws the shot glass to the side and picks up the bottle, drinking from it. He sets it down, wiping his mouth.
Ya know, I feel like going off. So I'm going to say what I feel like and I don't care what feelings I hurt. I am the best in ring talent here, hands down. Look, everyone else, besides Dark Hooker and his new friends, Cannon fodder as I call them, are good talents in their own right. But when it comes to that ring, just wrestling skills alone, no body can touch me. I am one of the best all round WRESTLERS in this company, in this industry. I am one of the best in ring talents going today. I do things that even 20 plus year veterans can't do in their dreams and they know that. And naturally they're jealous. People have been jealous of me since I got here. From day one, I was deemed as the future of OPW but the veterans didn't like that and when they saw just how good I am, they liked it even less. When I first started here, I didn't have many friends due to that jealously. I still don't if I'm honest. People see me, they see what kind of prodigy I am and they get scared because they're fearful of their spot.
Jason throws the cigar to the side and lights a fresh one.
That's why the Dickwad trio cost me my match with Captain Underpants' inbred cousin. Jealously. They are jealous I have been push to the moon here and they have no but here's the thing. Your four may want to turn up the volume because this is important. The reason you guys have been treated poorly is because you suck. Plain and simple. Nobody wants to watch you guys, nobody wants you around. No fan and no one in the bank wants you here. You guys drag down the product, hell, the Caddy Gangbangers ruined the image of the title titles when they held that and look, I don't want to be mean but they need to know the truth. Actually you do it Ira, I don't want to ruin the only good thing they'll ever experience in this business.
Ira gins and faces the camera
Caffeine Mafia. The only reason you guys won those tag titles in the first place is because no other team wanted to work that day!
Jason nods in agreement as he packs a pipe. He hands the cigar to Ira who takes a drag. Jason lights the piper and takes a long drag. He pauses to drink more of the whiskey and chuckles.
Honestly, you're not wrong Ira. And I'm sure they're hyped about their new partnership, I'm sure Cannon Fodder will find new and jaw dropping ways to let everyone down as they keep failing. You have to give them credit, Cannon Fodder will be a funny group to watch, to see them fail time and time again will be can't miss TV because people love train wrecks. Meanwhile I will become the Prestige champion once again. And I will use that title to go on to establish myself as the undisputed future and then by this time next year I will be Immortal champion. Trust me when I say, you five cent diseased ridden hookers just pissed up the wrong tree. All four of you will be seeing me very soon and I promise you, I swill use my baby, my steel rod to bust your heads open, and retire you. Before you get upset, think. Your careers have been one never ending joke with your wrestling skills as the punchline. My six year old nephew puts on better matches than you guys on the trampoline, then again he is a Ryan, unlike you guys, he's destined for greatness.
Jason and Ira stand up
Cannon Fodder, you can forget about your hopes and dreams. Because I will make sure your careers end in heartbreak. I will see to it all of you are forgotten. I will take your dreams and I will kill them. And one last bit of warning, put together, your accolades still can't touch mine. At the end of the day, your arms are too short to box with God.
Hello everyone and welcome to an exclusive OPW interview. Please welcome my guest at this time, Jason Ryan. Jason, thank you for agreeing to this interview, how are you today?
As Jason slowly removes his sunglasses Ira begins to scold the interviewer
Who do you think you are? How dare you use this man's first name? This is the Diamond of the Industry, the Franchise of OPW. This is the All-Mighty, the Game Changer. This is The Dreamkiller, the face of Hollywood. And you dare address him by his first name? You dare address a two time double champion, a two time world champion from other federations, a former triple champion? How dare you! You will try this again, you will address my client, only by Mister Ryan or there is no interview. Do you understand?
The interviewer is clearly put off as she tries to ask Jason another question
Jas-Mister Ryan, you wrestled Dark Tiger in a 2/3 Jokers Wild match where you came up a little bit short. Can I get your thoughts?
Jason says nothing in response, instead throwing his drink in the interviewer's face. As she frantically wipes her face with a towel Ira refills his glass.
Get out.
With a huff the interviewer storms out. Jason picks up the glass and stares into it.
Let's get one thing clear. I don't watch this business. This business watches me, everyone watches me, I don't watch anyone else. Because no one is able to hold my interest or attention. So when I say I had to look up who it was that got involved in my match, I am not lying. I am furious, I had Dork Tigger right where I wanted him. I was kicking the ever living piss out of him, getting ready to pin him. And then, I was gonna throw that bitch of his off the stage. Just because I think it'd be funny seeing someone get married wearing a neck brace. But Jackoff Bertha and the Sugar High Wannabe Bloodline-
Pardon me my eventual champion but I believe their names are Josiah Black and Caffeine Mafia.
Honestly, nobody cares Ira. I've never heard of Josiah Black as for Caffeine Mafia, well, they're so goddamn horrible they caused the tag titles to lose relevance. I had forgotten we had tag straps because of their dry and stale promo work and their matches which they do the same damn moves each and every time. Hell, they matter so little, I don't know their names. Do you know?
No because I don't look up ordinary people.
Look I don't know what their problem is or why they decided to step to me but I promise they're pay for it. When this whole thing between me and Dark Tiger got started it was just me making a statement that I am back and I am the future of this industry and people like Dark Tiger aren't fit to lick my boot. They aren't worthy to share the ring with me. Ever since I came back I have kicked the shit out of that overgrown toddler who still doesn't know how to properly lock in a chokehold. Looks like his father who was also a wrestler, never bothered to teach his dipshit son. Probably because he ran out on the family when he saw what a failure his son was but regardless. I throw him off a balcony, I have verbally decimated him on more than one occasion, he can't hang with me on the mic, if you listen to his rambling, stuttering, tripe he calls promos you'd know that. I have beaten him in the middle of the ring and unlike him, I didn't need help. Then again, he's used to needing help, his mother dresses him still and he hasn't learned how to tie his shoes yet. And for the love of God, get him a speech therapist! The point is, I have made him my bitch ever since coming back, no one knew who the fuck he was until I started kicking his ass for my sheer entertainment. If it weren't for me, nobody would know who the fuck he is.
And it's not like they do, they just know him as the guy you have humiliated week after week.
True.
Jason drains the glass of whisky and takes a thoughtful drag of his cigar
And now he gets a shot at Ryan Elias for the Prestige title. That should be me, no one deserves that shot except me. And now I'm supposed to just watch this curtain/ circle jerker fucker get the shot I have earned? No, I refuse. This is how it's going to go. Either I am inserted in that match or I face the winner in no more than two weeks time, or I ruin the Prestige title match. Those are my terms OPW. I expect your answer in 24 hours, since you don't want to answer my tweets or DMs, what do I not matter to you all of the sudden? Those are my conditions, don't try to compromise, you're lucky I don't have Ira file an injunction for such brazen disrespect of your hottest young talent.
Jason throws the shot glass to the side and picks up the bottle, drinking from it. He sets it down, wiping his mouth.
Ya know, I feel like going off. So I'm going to say what I feel like and I don't care what feelings I hurt. I am the best in ring talent here, hands down. Look, everyone else, besides Dark Hooker and his new friends, Cannon fodder as I call them, are good talents in their own right. But when it comes to that ring, just wrestling skills alone, no body can touch me. I am one of the best all round WRESTLERS in this company, in this industry. I am one of the best in ring talents going today. I do things that even 20 plus year veterans can't do in their dreams and they know that. And naturally they're jealous. People have been jealous of me since I got here. From day one, I was deemed as the future of OPW but the veterans didn't like that and when they saw just how good I am, they liked it even less. When I first started here, I didn't have many friends due to that jealously. I still don't if I'm honest. People see me, they see what kind of prodigy I am and they get scared because they're fearful of their spot.
Jason throws the cigar to the side and lights a fresh one.
That's why the Dickwad trio cost me my match with Captain Underpants' inbred cousin. Jealously. They are jealous I have been push to the moon here and they have no but here's the thing. Your four may want to turn up the volume because this is important. The reason you guys have been treated poorly is because you suck. Plain and simple. Nobody wants to watch you guys, nobody wants you around. No fan and no one in the bank wants you here. You guys drag down the product, hell, the Caddy Gangbangers ruined the image of the title titles when they held that and look, I don't want to be mean but they need to know the truth. Actually you do it Ira, I don't want to ruin the only good thing they'll ever experience in this business.
Ira gins and faces the camera
Caffeine Mafia. The only reason you guys won those tag titles in the first place is because no other team wanted to work that day!
Jason nods in agreement as he packs a pipe. He hands the cigar to Ira who takes a drag. Jason lights the piper and takes a long drag. He pauses to drink more of the whiskey and chuckles.
Honestly, you're not wrong Ira. And I'm sure they're hyped about their new partnership, I'm sure Cannon Fodder will find new and jaw dropping ways to let everyone down as they keep failing. You have to give them credit, Cannon Fodder will be a funny group to watch, to see them fail time and time again will be can't miss TV because people love train wrecks. Meanwhile I will become the Prestige champion once again. And I will use that title to go on to establish myself as the undisputed future and then by this time next year I will be Immortal champion. Trust me when I say, you five cent diseased ridden hookers just pissed up the wrong tree. All four of you will be seeing me very soon and I promise you, I swill use my baby, my steel rod to bust your heads open, and retire you. Before you get upset, think. Your careers have been one never ending joke with your wrestling skills as the punchline. My six year old nephew puts on better matches than you guys on the trampoline, then again he is a Ryan, unlike you guys, he's destined for greatness.
Jason and Ira stand up
Cannon Fodder, you can forget about your hopes and dreams. Because I will make sure your careers end in heartbreak. I will see to it all of you are forgotten. I will take your dreams and I will kill them. And one last bit of warning, put together, your accolades still can't touch mine. At the end of the day, your arms are too short to box with God.