Post by starfire on Jun 7, 2021 18:01:52 GMT -5
[ JJ Starfire ]: Like, every time we ever go near him, he drops us on our heads and that’s the end of it. I’m not sure how putting the three of us in there at the same time is gonna make a difference.
[ Asher Jules ]: Are you fackin schewpid? We’ll swarm on ‘im lika swarm a’ bees
[ Noelle Rivers ]: I’m not “schewpid”. If you two want to run fools errands, by my guest but I’m staying out of it. I won’t do the bidding of the emo who just wants to keep throwing you all in the fire again and again.
[ She snarls, and turns away from Asher and JJ Starfire, who are sitting cross-legged on the floor of the apartment in the Womb. JJ rolls a dice to the middle and then starts moving a pebble around a circle. Asher grabs a pebble, and looking hard at it, then looks back up at JJ. ]
[ Asher Jules ]: Yknow, right? What’s the point of this game? Pebbles go in a circle and then someone wins but its just random innit.
[ JJ Starfire ]: Doesn’t have to be random. You could make a strategy for it.
[ Noelle Rivers ]: [ from near the door ] Snowfire, that’s not a thing. Just like on that XBox, you act like you have strategy when you play that Fornight bullshi-
[ JJ Starfire ]: It’s Overwatch, actually. I have a niche.
[ Noelle Rivers ]: Whatever. You don’t have a strategy, you run like a headless chicken and pray for the best.
[ Asher Jules ]: Just like when he was wrestling Father Clauson the other day.
[ JJ Starfire ]: It was like two months ago and you didn’t have much further success. Her either! He’s a tough guy, man.
[ Noelle Rivers ]: I didn’t try. Who cares. Pin me, pay me. Just stay out of my way.
[ JJ Starfire ]: Hey are you gonna make us lose?
[ Asher Jules ]: Yeah mate don’t do that, I took some poor old wanka’s arm home with me last week. And like, yknow. I’m on a streak now, innit, thats it for me now. No more losin’. And I specially ain’t losin to old grampa claus.
[ JJ Starfire ]: We can totally take him.
[ Asher Jules ]: Not if that twat of eternal stench runs in, legs at right angles tryin’ to show off to the femole about how hard shes tryin and he just dumps her on her nog and thats all sheila wrote.
[ JJ Starfire ]: Nah. Swarm them.
[ Asher Jules ]: Like bees.
[ JJ Starfire ]: Bees.
[ And it was at this moment that the birds and the bees suddenly became apropos. JJ’s phone had been ringing, and he kept sending it to voicemail. This time, it was the hissing of a message to let him know that at long last, the unknown number on his cell had finally left a voicemail. He looked up at Asher, and smiled. ]
[ Asher Jules ]: Is that yer giiiirlfriend?
[ JJ Starfire ]: What? She’s not my girlfriend. And no, it’s not Martha.
[ Noelle Rivers ]: By the way, as soon as they bolt that door onto her room, I’m moving in. And if you think I’ll lay down and let touchy uncle press his sweaty body against mine for a paycheck? Nope. But I’ll fucking fight you if you try and stop me sleeping in a bedroom with a door on it. Bet.
[ JJ Starfire ]: She’s a champion. She’s won matches. She’s definitely better than us.
[ Asher Jules ]: If you help me stop browzilla and Pixie, I’ll share it with you bruv. Lads unity, innit?
[ JJ Starfire ]: Were all of those words even words? Bruv?
[ Asher Jules ]: Are you being racist again. England inven’ed all these words, fuck sake.
[ JJ Starfire ]: I’m going to Pixie’s room to listen to the voice mail.
[ Asher Jules ]: Don’t rub one out in her bed whilst shes on the phone to you. Washing the sheets is a three mile walk.
[ JJ Starfire ]: There’s a washer right there..
[ Asher Jules ]: Does it work?
[ JJ Starfire ]: Have you tried?
[ Asher Jules ]: Why would I have tried?
[ JJ Starfire ]: Why would you walk three miles before trying the washing machine?
[ Asher Jules ]: Why would I know how to work one?
[ JJ, perplexed, shakes his head, and then closes the half door that shuts off visual access to the top half of the bedroom. You can see JJ Starfire’s feet moving around as he paced the bare furnished room.
It takes a moment to sink in, and his face starts to flush with colour. ]
[ JJ Starfire ]: What the.. Druscilla White? She wants to do.. What?
[ And at that point, he hung up the voicemail message and looked down at the phone in disbelief for a second. ]
[ JJ Starfire ]: [ calling to Asher in the main area of the apartment ] Dru’s .. friendly. She wants to hang out with us and eat ice cream, I think. In Atlanta. Shall we go early and buy Doritos?
[ Asher Jules ]: What you on about?
[ JJ Starfire ]: Listen to this...
[ As JJ Starfire hands his telephone over to Asher Jules, he then puts it on speaker phone. Asher looks up in disbelief toward Noelle Rivers, who seems to absolutely break kayfabe with the widest of grins on her face as she listens to the mouth on Druscilla White run wild. ]