Post by jasonryan on Jun 21, 2021 23:53:58 GMT -5
( The following programing had been temporarily suspended. Welcome to Jason Ryan Enterprises)
Jason is shown in his own dressing room with Trinidad James' All Gold Everything playing. On hiss coffee table are framed pictures of all his previous accomplishments in wrestling.
Welcome to the J.R.E that is Jason Ryan Enterprises, your number one stop for your top tier wrestling fix. I am your founder, your chairman, and your CEO, the Megastar, Mister Madison Square Garden, The Diamond of the Industry, The Dreamkiller, The Franchise of OPW, God God oh my God, Jason mutha fucking God damn Ryan!
Jason takes off his sunglasses and gives a bow
And it looks like once again I am to grace OPW with my greatness because I am one of their best talents, the JRE is money after all. My merch check is worth more than Dark Tiger's whore alone. Granted that's not saying much considering all them miles she has but DT paid a lot for her. I say he got ripped off but he's even less of a man than his father and that's saying something. Anyway, who am I gonna smack 50 layers of black and blue? Ricky who? Is this a joke? I'm fighting Ricky? I'm fighting the rejected Jonas brother? Oh hell.
Jason gets his phone and calls the number of OPW management. When he gets a answering machine he flips off the camera.
Hey, this is Jason. Just giving you your daily reminder to head down to your local drug store, ask for something called viagra and it'll help all you bitches to go fuck yourselves. Go play in traffic.
Jason throws his phone to the side and addresses the camera
Ricky, listen junior. Listen you barely sentient cum stain. You wanna tweet at me saying I'm gonna lose? Bitch I'll fuck your mom and become your stepdad. And then I'll take all them barbies you still play with and kick you out of the basement, don't test me. You still haven't gone through puberty, you don't get to say jack shit. You Justin Bieber wannabe. You can shut your smurf looking ass up. Bro you're so fragile the Caffine Mafia could whip your ass. You are 110 pounds soaking wet. You ain't worth your weight in shit. How about before you run that little mouth of yours you let your voice deepen? No dude should have that high of a voice, Vhodka sounds more manly than you.
Jason grabs a pinwheel
Far as I'm concerned, I'm like this pinwheel. Do what you groupie types do best and blow me.
Jason throws the pinwheel to the side and leans back on his couch
Let's get something straight here. Jason Ryan is a winner! I have been world champion in other companies, I am going to go to DCW and become their first world champion, next time you bitches see me on camera following my match with Jason Ryan Lite over here, I will have gold, once again, being a 3 time world champion in my career. I am the future of this business, I am the best in the ring wrestler this company has to offer. Nobody can do what I do in that ring and everybody knows it. I make millions of dollars, I am not incredible, I am not phenomenal, I am larger than life.
Jason grabs a bottle of Jameson and drinks from the bottle
And my movies are box office hits. So let's get this straight you little shit. I am gonna beat you like a red headed step child. I am going to kick every single one of your teeth down your throat. But I do have a gift for you. I wrote a diss track just for you.
A beat begins to replace the song Jason is playing.
Last name Ryan, first name Jason
Gonna fuck your bitchass up and send you home crying
Don't even think about winning that's just fantasy
You just a wannabe version of me, that's plain to see
Best thing you can do is accept your licks
Like I did your mother's clit
I'm a prodigy, you're a jackass
You're trash I'm class
I'm the best of my generation
You're subpar and disappointing like, ahem, your genital condition
Your foolish delusions have got you mislead
This match will be the final nail in your head
My rhymes and in ring talent will cut you so deep, you're gonna need to stich that
Because you're about to be on the wrong end of a God-tier bitch slap
I played the good cop for a while but now the bad cop is out
And faced with such inferior competition I've secured my victory no doubt
And here's some advice, it's from your buddy, the master of that JRE energy
Pick a new career. This ain't a profession for pussies.
Jason is shown in his own dressing room with Trinidad James' All Gold Everything playing. On hiss coffee table are framed pictures of all his previous accomplishments in wrestling.
Welcome to the J.R.E that is Jason Ryan Enterprises, your number one stop for your top tier wrestling fix. I am your founder, your chairman, and your CEO, the Megastar, Mister Madison Square Garden, The Diamond of the Industry, The Dreamkiller, The Franchise of OPW, God God oh my God, Jason mutha fucking God damn Ryan!
Jason takes off his sunglasses and gives a bow
And it looks like once again I am to grace OPW with my greatness because I am one of their best talents, the JRE is money after all. My merch check is worth more than Dark Tiger's whore alone. Granted that's not saying much considering all them miles she has but DT paid a lot for her. I say he got ripped off but he's even less of a man than his father and that's saying something. Anyway, who am I gonna smack 50 layers of black and blue? Ricky who? Is this a joke? I'm fighting Ricky? I'm fighting the rejected Jonas brother? Oh hell.
Jason gets his phone and calls the number of OPW management. When he gets a answering machine he flips off the camera.
Hey, this is Jason. Just giving you your daily reminder to head down to your local drug store, ask for something called viagra and it'll help all you bitches to go fuck yourselves. Go play in traffic.
Jason throws his phone to the side and addresses the camera
Ricky, listen junior. Listen you barely sentient cum stain. You wanna tweet at me saying I'm gonna lose? Bitch I'll fuck your mom and become your stepdad. And then I'll take all them barbies you still play with and kick you out of the basement, don't test me. You still haven't gone through puberty, you don't get to say jack shit. You Justin Bieber wannabe. You can shut your smurf looking ass up. Bro you're so fragile the Caffine Mafia could whip your ass. You are 110 pounds soaking wet. You ain't worth your weight in shit. How about before you run that little mouth of yours you let your voice deepen? No dude should have that high of a voice, Vhodka sounds more manly than you.
Jason grabs a pinwheel
Far as I'm concerned, I'm like this pinwheel. Do what you groupie types do best and blow me.
Jason throws the pinwheel to the side and leans back on his couch
Let's get something straight here. Jason Ryan is a winner! I have been world champion in other companies, I am going to go to DCW and become their first world champion, next time you bitches see me on camera following my match with Jason Ryan Lite over here, I will have gold, once again, being a 3 time world champion in my career. I am the future of this business, I am the best in the ring wrestler this company has to offer. Nobody can do what I do in that ring and everybody knows it. I make millions of dollars, I am not incredible, I am not phenomenal, I am larger than life.
Jason grabs a bottle of Jameson and drinks from the bottle
And my movies are box office hits. So let's get this straight you little shit. I am gonna beat you like a red headed step child. I am going to kick every single one of your teeth down your throat. But I do have a gift for you. I wrote a diss track just for you.
A beat begins to replace the song Jason is playing.
Last name Ryan, first name Jason
Gonna fuck your bitchass up and send you home crying
Don't even think about winning that's just fantasy
You just a wannabe version of me, that's plain to see
Best thing you can do is accept your licks
Like I did your mother's clit
I'm a prodigy, you're a jackass
You're trash I'm class
I'm the best of my generation
You're subpar and disappointing like, ahem, your genital condition
Your foolish delusions have got you mislead
This match will be the final nail in your head
My rhymes and in ring talent will cut you so deep, you're gonna need to stich that
Because you're about to be on the wrong end of a God-tier bitch slap
I played the good cop for a while but now the bad cop is out
And faced with such inferior competition I've secured my victory no doubt
And here's some advice, it's from your buddy, the master of that JRE energy
Pick a new career. This ain't a profession for pussies.