Post by huntertheantichrist on Aug 26, 2022 2:15:04 GMT -5
Let's be real for a minute here. Last week was not exactly my career highlight. I took a pretty brutal ass kicking from that piece of shit Brandon Moore. The X-Kore Title was lost because of that deception. My former best friend and brother set me up to lose that belt. In the end it was saved by giving Roger Wright his 9,208th ass kicking of his lifetime from either me or Johnny. Watching him bleed was even more fun than I remember it being. We really need to do this shit more often for old times sake.
Let us discuss the lies that dip shit told the world. The sad part is that he probably believes that bullshit. If a person tells themselves the same lie, they tend to believe that shit. Part of me wants to recant those lies and part of me feels sorry for the little bastard. Yes, Hunter Valentyne can actually have a conscience. Maybe it is in the best interest in truth that these lies are shot down. Which part was a lie, you ask? Pretty much everything he said about me. My name is Hunter Valentyne. That is about it.
Holy shit, where to start. Dave McDave was mentioned so much you would think he was in the match. Here is a news flash, he isn't. The name Dave McDave hasn't escaped my lips in more than a decade. But I am sure old Dave is thrilled you remember him. Unlike you, I am focused on the here and now. Winning title matches rather than being embarrassed in title matches. That is where we differ. Hunter Valentyne wins belts in 2022. Roger Wright gets his ass handed to him. To be quite honest, what exactly has Roger Wright done to even be in the ring with me? He hasn't won a fucking match. He gets bitch slapped, while Hunter Valentyne does the bitch slapping. Hunter Valentyne will slap the shit out of Roger Wright for the 9,212th time. If this is all you got, it will be the last.
"Mister Valentyne, why are we here and what horrible things are you going to say about Mister Stylez. Last week did not go well for you. Now you face Mister Wright. I am not sure why we are even here."
Jonas is highly fucking annoying. Not quite as annoying as listening to Roger Wright speak, but pretty fucking close. The truth is that Johnny will need to be dealt with in due time. First will come the inevitable beating of our least favorite mother fucker of all time. It is almost selfish of me to take all the pleasure for myself. Johnny was so stressed out last week that smacking that son of a bitch with a shovel is a great way to let off stress. There is something about crushing his skull into the windshield of a car that really heals all of your problems.
"Mister Valentyne, Mister Styles is on the line. He wishes to speak to you. May I suggest not annoying him. He seems highly stressed out."
With an annoyed snatch the phone is retrieved from the little yes bitches hand. This is a conversation that needs to be had in private. We both know how we get when we are forced to converse. A shooing motion gets rid of Jonas as we begin to speak in the lobby of this nice hotel.
"What's up bruh?"
"Who the phuck is this and what did you do with Hunter? I was expecting a different conversation."
"You said you were going to call me this week. SO I have been considering a few things this week. Also you would be amazed how calming beating the fuck out of Roger Wright is. You really should do that rather than a stress ball. I highly fucking recommend it. You made a couple of fair points. A couple of things you were full of shit about, but I expect you to be full of shit from time to time."
"Are you actually being reasonable? What the phuck? I was expecting you to be highly pissed the phuck off."
"Well, I happen to be at a function right now. We are chatting inside of the lobby. For the second thing it has become apparent how this needs to be done. You are correct about the fact that I have never forgotten about 2011. March 7, 2011 to be perfectly exact. I know your math sucks, but it has been 11 years. We tried killing each other for years. Nothing was ever established. We have both been at this shit for a long time. No one knows you like I know you. I know how to hurt you the fucking most. I know you you being forced to recognize me as the Immortal Champion will fucking kill you. It will eat you alive. Beating you bloody has done nothing. I am going to take what you value the most. My final victory will be to become the first ever OPW blackout champion. That will definitely piss you the fuck off to have to recognize that I am the best thing you got. Not to prove I am somewhat on my game, but I am better than I ever was, unlike Roger Wright and Al ALmost."
"You are not wrong about that pissing me off. I will cross that bridge when I come to it. First, I need you to be on your game assuming you defeat Roger."
"Assuming? Have you forgotten who the fuck I am? Roger is getting beaten back into 2022. You know the place he does not know exists because he is busy whacking the rat in 2011. I got this, starting with Roger Wright. Moving on to smacking the shit out of Joe's cast of misfits. Finally, smacking the shit out of whoever you decide to put on that team. Oh, while I am thinking about it, what the fuck are you thinking making Ani the captain. Just because she has has sex with every drunken sailor captain at every port does not mean she should be the captain of the team. Maybe you got fucking confused."
"Hunter, now is not the time for your shit. This team needs to get along so those HBO dipshits do not gain control of the Immortal Title. I am not even allowed in that match. We need to win so put your beef with Ani to the side."
"Nothing like a good side bitch. Look I have shit to tend to so I am going to let you go. I am motivated to win that match and this one inside of Yankee Stadium. Enjoy the beating, cuz."
Talking to Johnny is a great way to ruin my fucking mood. But he is the one who insisted we talk so I guess it is what it is. We are here for another purpose entirely. There has been a lot of irony in my life lately. I found it quite weird that this past week on Long Island was a repeat of the day in 2011 that Johnny refuses to let go. There are a lot of things about that night that were eerily similar. I was attacked from behind that night by someone Johnny sent to do his dirty work. Last week I was attacked from behind by someone Johnny sent to do his dirty work. I got screwed out of my X-Kore title that night. I got screwed out of the X-Kore title last week. It took place in New York. Last week we were in New York. That night was Madison Square Garden. Last week was Long Island. It is weird how these things line the fuck up.
The fact we are here after the retarded shit that Roger Wright spewed makes a lot of sense. To be honest, I was not going to attend this shit. Nobody wants to live in the past forever, but these people sure do. Bringing my own personal errand boy is a nice touch, even if he happens to be Johnny's errand boy.
"We would like to welcome each of you to this event. This is a celebration of the Class of 2002. It is really great to see each of you here tonight and it is wonderful to see such a turnout. The first portion of the evening is the cocktail party. Each of us can get reacquainted with each other here tonight. Make sure to enjoy yourselves here tonight."
This is going to be a very long night. These people were not the nicest people in the world to me back then. Of course seeing them twenty years later makes me realize that winning is at the end of the match, not the beginning. Some of them really look like shit. Correction, all of them look worse than Roger Wright's current career. Okay, nothing looks that bad, but you get the point.
The woman who is walking up to me used to be a cheerleader for the high school team. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, was trying to fuck her. In her heyday, she has a tight little body and was fucking gorgeous. Apparently, the years were very fucking unkind, like they have been to Roger.
"Hunter Valentyne? I have not seen you in ages. Has it been twenty years? You look great! What have you been up to?"
"Not much really. Just being the greatest wrestler who ever stepped foot on the Earth. Of course, I look fucking great. I work out each day of my life to get better and better. I am kicking the fucking shit out of little bitches half my fucking age. I am better than I ever was. That is a point I plan on proving when I walk inside of Yankee fucking Stadium and beating the dog shit out of Roger Wright."
"Wow! A wrestler? That is so great. You always were in great shape. It is great to see you achieve your dream. I bet you didn't even want to come here."
"You are right about that. I did not want to come back here tonight. But seeing as so many of my colleagues want to talk about the past like it matters, I felt like I might as well too."
"Did someone say something to you about the past?"
"All that idiot did was talk about shit that happened eleven years ago. I mean I cannot really blame him because that is the last time he ever did anything in wrestling. He had the chance to become the first ever Immortal Champion but his girlfriend beat him up. Then he comes back two years later with a chance to win the X- Tradition title but another girl whipped his bitch ass. He lost to Big Money Adrian Cole. Let me repeat that. He lost to Adrian fucking Cole. It is so hilarious that the once Golden Boy couldn't beat his own meat if he had Anika Swan porn."
"You seem to not like the guy very much. What is the beef you have with this guy? This cannot be purely professional."
"Roger's biggest feud over the past ten years has been with the truth. He claims I ran from him. I am pretty sure me and Johnny hit him with one too many shovel shots to the head. Did we literally beat the fucking talent out of his bitch ass? Or did Ani give him a sexually transmitted disease that causes you to lose talent? Either way, he is pathetic in thinking I ever ran from his bitch ass. I stepped to him every single time. Everyone knows that he is the one who was protected back then. The only time he wasn't protected was when Johnny and I teamed up and beat his worthless ass like he owed us money. But it is okay, Rodge. You want to live in the past where you mattered. I am here in the present where I am ten times the performer that you are. Maybe you should be here instead of me. Since you love reliving this shit. You claim to have moved on right after you spent ten fucking useless minutes talking about ancient history that means jack fucking shit. Way to move on, Rodge. You are an inspiration to every former foot ball player living out his high school glory while working at Home fucking Depot."
"My husband works at Home Depot!"
"Ohhh, my bad. Rodge, you talk about Envy stabbing you in the back. You talk about J stabbing you in the back. You talk about me stabbing you in the back. You talk about Ani royally fucking you over and making you look like the bitch that you are. It is kind of funny how everyone eventually finds out what a worthless piece of shit you are and beats the fuck out of you for it. But do not worry, Golden Bitch. I will not be stabbing you in the back. You are going to come face to face with me at Yankee Stadium. I will look you square in the eyes before I beat the fucking shit out of you. The irony of facing your over hyped ass at Yankee Stadium is not lost on me. The Yankees used to be the best team in baseball history but haven't won shit since 2009. You will not be winning shit this week either. I will go on to be the third member of Johnny's team. We will win that match at Heavy is the Crown. I will go on to smack the shit out of my teammates in the three way match. I will hold that title above my head because I have earned it. Oh sorry, Rodge. When you earn something you get into the ring each week and wrestle other guys while winning mostly. Okay sorry again. When you win a match you pin your opponent's shoulders to the mat. They hold your hand up and your music plays. I know it's been a long time since you have experienced that."
"I really hope you win, Hunter. It will be a great thing to cheer for you. That man sounds like a total loser. I am sure you will do well."
"One more thing, Golden Bitch. The gimmick police called and pressed charges against you. Johnny wants his gimmick back. If you are going to copy The Don of Disrespect at least do it right. Jesus you are worse than Brandon Moore. You talk shit like a drunk bitch at the bar trying to score last call dick. Stop trying to be us and figure out who the fuck you are. I mean I already told you who the fuck you are but still. Now take your weak ass home and relive 2011 some more. Oh and the bitch you were with? She will probably stab your punk ass in the back too."
I could have told her how horrible she looked but she already knew. Just like Roger Wright knows his beat days are behind him. He refuses to admit it, but it is easier looking back to 2011 when he was decent, than it is to look at himself in 2022 when he can't win a match. I mean he is worse than Jason fucking Ryan for Christ Sake. How is it even possible to be worse than roster filler? The Golden Bitch found a way.
I feel like I am smacking the fuck out of a handicapped guy or something. I mean I almost feel sorry for him. I have seen what he used to be before his girlfriend beat the shit out of him. He still thinks he is that guy from 2011. He is not. He is just a victim on my road to proving my fucking point. Yankee Stadium is the perfect proving ground.
Let us discuss the lies that dip shit told the world. The sad part is that he probably believes that bullshit. If a person tells themselves the same lie, they tend to believe that shit. Part of me wants to recant those lies and part of me feels sorry for the little bastard. Yes, Hunter Valentyne can actually have a conscience. Maybe it is in the best interest in truth that these lies are shot down. Which part was a lie, you ask? Pretty much everything he said about me. My name is Hunter Valentyne. That is about it.
Holy shit, where to start. Dave McDave was mentioned so much you would think he was in the match. Here is a news flash, he isn't. The name Dave McDave hasn't escaped my lips in more than a decade. But I am sure old Dave is thrilled you remember him. Unlike you, I am focused on the here and now. Winning title matches rather than being embarrassed in title matches. That is where we differ. Hunter Valentyne wins belts in 2022. Roger Wright gets his ass handed to him. To be quite honest, what exactly has Roger Wright done to even be in the ring with me? He hasn't won a fucking match. He gets bitch slapped, while Hunter Valentyne does the bitch slapping. Hunter Valentyne will slap the shit out of Roger Wright for the 9,212th time. If this is all you got, it will be the last.
"Mister Valentyne, why are we here and what horrible things are you going to say about Mister Stylez. Last week did not go well for you. Now you face Mister Wright. I am not sure why we are even here."
Jonas is highly fucking annoying. Not quite as annoying as listening to Roger Wright speak, but pretty fucking close. The truth is that Johnny will need to be dealt with in due time. First will come the inevitable beating of our least favorite mother fucker of all time. It is almost selfish of me to take all the pleasure for myself. Johnny was so stressed out last week that smacking that son of a bitch with a shovel is a great way to let off stress. There is something about crushing his skull into the windshield of a car that really heals all of your problems.
"Mister Valentyne, Mister Styles is on the line. He wishes to speak to you. May I suggest not annoying him. He seems highly stressed out."
With an annoyed snatch the phone is retrieved from the little yes bitches hand. This is a conversation that needs to be had in private. We both know how we get when we are forced to converse. A shooing motion gets rid of Jonas as we begin to speak in the lobby of this nice hotel.
"What's up bruh?"
"Who the phuck is this and what did you do with Hunter? I was expecting a different conversation."
"You said you were going to call me this week. SO I have been considering a few things this week. Also you would be amazed how calming beating the fuck out of Roger Wright is. You really should do that rather than a stress ball. I highly fucking recommend it. You made a couple of fair points. A couple of things you were full of shit about, but I expect you to be full of shit from time to time."
"Are you actually being reasonable? What the phuck? I was expecting you to be highly pissed the phuck off."
"Well, I happen to be at a function right now. We are chatting inside of the lobby. For the second thing it has become apparent how this needs to be done. You are correct about the fact that I have never forgotten about 2011. March 7, 2011 to be perfectly exact. I know your math sucks, but it has been 11 years. We tried killing each other for years. Nothing was ever established. We have both been at this shit for a long time. No one knows you like I know you. I know how to hurt you the fucking most. I know you you being forced to recognize me as the Immortal Champion will fucking kill you. It will eat you alive. Beating you bloody has done nothing. I am going to take what you value the most. My final victory will be to become the first ever OPW blackout champion. That will definitely piss you the fuck off to have to recognize that I am the best thing you got. Not to prove I am somewhat on my game, but I am better than I ever was, unlike Roger Wright and Al ALmost."
"You are not wrong about that pissing me off. I will cross that bridge when I come to it. First, I need you to be on your game assuming you defeat Roger."
"Assuming? Have you forgotten who the fuck I am? Roger is getting beaten back into 2022. You know the place he does not know exists because he is busy whacking the rat in 2011. I got this, starting with Roger Wright. Moving on to smacking the shit out of Joe's cast of misfits. Finally, smacking the shit out of whoever you decide to put on that team. Oh, while I am thinking about it, what the fuck are you thinking making Ani the captain. Just because she has has sex with every drunken sailor captain at every port does not mean she should be the captain of the team. Maybe you got fucking confused."
"Hunter, now is not the time for your shit. This team needs to get along so those HBO dipshits do not gain control of the Immortal Title. I am not even allowed in that match. We need to win so put your beef with Ani to the side."
"Nothing like a good side bitch. Look I have shit to tend to so I am going to let you go. I am motivated to win that match and this one inside of Yankee Stadium. Enjoy the beating, cuz."
Talking to Johnny is a great way to ruin my fucking mood. But he is the one who insisted we talk so I guess it is what it is. We are here for another purpose entirely. There has been a lot of irony in my life lately. I found it quite weird that this past week on Long Island was a repeat of the day in 2011 that Johnny refuses to let go. There are a lot of things about that night that were eerily similar. I was attacked from behind that night by someone Johnny sent to do his dirty work. Last week I was attacked from behind by someone Johnny sent to do his dirty work. I got screwed out of my X-Kore title that night. I got screwed out of the X-Kore title last week. It took place in New York. Last week we were in New York. That night was Madison Square Garden. Last week was Long Island. It is weird how these things line the fuck up.
The fact we are here after the retarded shit that Roger Wright spewed makes a lot of sense. To be honest, I was not going to attend this shit. Nobody wants to live in the past forever, but these people sure do. Bringing my own personal errand boy is a nice touch, even if he happens to be Johnny's errand boy.
"We would like to welcome each of you to this event. This is a celebration of the Class of 2002. It is really great to see each of you here tonight and it is wonderful to see such a turnout. The first portion of the evening is the cocktail party. Each of us can get reacquainted with each other here tonight. Make sure to enjoy yourselves here tonight."
This is going to be a very long night. These people were not the nicest people in the world to me back then. Of course seeing them twenty years later makes me realize that winning is at the end of the match, not the beginning. Some of them really look like shit. Correction, all of them look worse than Roger Wright's current career. Okay, nothing looks that bad, but you get the point.
The woman who is walking up to me used to be a cheerleader for the high school team. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, was trying to fuck her. In her heyday, she has a tight little body and was fucking gorgeous. Apparently, the years were very fucking unkind, like they have been to Roger.
"Hunter Valentyne? I have not seen you in ages. Has it been twenty years? You look great! What have you been up to?"
"Not much really. Just being the greatest wrestler who ever stepped foot on the Earth. Of course, I look fucking great. I work out each day of my life to get better and better. I am kicking the fucking shit out of little bitches half my fucking age. I am better than I ever was. That is a point I plan on proving when I walk inside of Yankee fucking Stadium and beating the dog shit out of Roger Wright."
"Wow! A wrestler? That is so great. You always were in great shape. It is great to see you achieve your dream. I bet you didn't even want to come here."
"You are right about that. I did not want to come back here tonight. But seeing as so many of my colleagues want to talk about the past like it matters, I felt like I might as well too."
"Did someone say something to you about the past?"
"All that idiot did was talk about shit that happened eleven years ago. I mean I cannot really blame him because that is the last time he ever did anything in wrestling. He had the chance to become the first ever Immortal Champion but his girlfriend beat him up. Then he comes back two years later with a chance to win the X- Tradition title but another girl whipped his bitch ass. He lost to Big Money Adrian Cole. Let me repeat that. He lost to Adrian fucking Cole. It is so hilarious that the once Golden Boy couldn't beat his own meat if he had Anika Swan porn."
"You seem to not like the guy very much. What is the beef you have with this guy? This cannot be purely professional."
"Roger's biggest feud over the past ten years has been with the truth. He claims I ran from him. I am pretty sure me and Johnny hit him with one too many shovel shots to the head. Did we literally beat the fucking talent out of his bitch ass? Or did Ani give him a sexually transmitted disease that causes you to lose talent? Either way, he is pathetic in thinking I ever ran from his bitch ass. I stepped to him every single time. Everyone knows that he is the one who was protected back then. The only time he wasn't protected was when Johnny and I teamed up and beat his worthless ass like he owed us money. But it is okay, Rodge. You want to live in the past where you mattered. I am here in the present where I am ten times the performer that you are. Maybe you should be here instead of me. Since you love reliving this shit. You claim to have moved on right after you spent ten fucking useless minutes talking about ancient history that means jack fucking shit. Way to move on, Rodge. You are an inspiration to every former foot ball player living out his high school glory while working at Home fucking Depot."
"My husband works at Home Depot!"
"Ohhh, my bad. Rodge, you talk about Envy stabbing you in the back. You talk about J stabbing you in the back. You talk about me stabbing you in the back. You talk about Ani royally fucking you over and making you look like the bitch that you are. It is kind of funny how everyone eventually finds out what a worthless piece of shit you are and beats the fuck out of you for it. But do not worry, Golden Bitch. I will not be stabbing you in the back. You are going to come face to face with me at Yankee Stadium. I will look you square in the eyes before I beat the fucking shit out of you. The irony of facing your over hyped ass at Yankee Stadium is not lost on me. The Yankees used to be the best team in baseball history but haven't won shit since 2009. You will not be winning shit this week either. I will go on to be the third member of Johnny's team. We will win that match at Heavy is the Crown. I will go on to smack the shit out of my teammates in the three way match. I will hold that title above my head because I have earned it. Oh sorry, Rodge. When you earn something you get into the ring each week and wrestle other guys while winning mostly. Okay sorry again. When you win a match you pin your opponent's shoulders to the mat. They hold your hand up and your music plays. I know it's been a long time since you have experienced that."
"I really hope you win, Hunter. It will be a great thing to cheer for you. That man sounds like a total loser. I am sure you will do well."
"One more thing, Golden Bitch. The gimmick police called and pressed charges against you. Johnny wants his gimmick back. If you are going to copy The Don of Disrespect at least do it right. Jesus you are worse than Brandon Moore. You talk shit like a drunk bitch at the bar trying to score last call dick. Stop trying to be us and figure out who the fuck you are. I mean I already told you who the fuck you are but still. Now take your weak ass home and relive 2011 some more. Oh and the bitch you were with? She will probably stab your punk ass in the back too."
I could have told her how horrible she looked but she already knew. Just like Roger Wright knows his beat days are behind him. He refuses to admit it, but it is easier looking back to 2011 when he was decent, than it is to look at himself in 2022 when he can't win a match. I mean he is worse than Jason fucking Ryan for Christ Sake. How is it even possible to be worse than roster filler? The Golden Bitch found a way.
I feel like I am smacking the fuck out of a handicapped guy or something. I mean I almost feel sorry for him. I have seen what he used to be before his girlfriend beat the shit out of him. He still thinks he is that guy from 2011. He is not. He is just a victim on my road to proving my fucking point. Yankee Stadium is the perfect proving ground.