Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2020 11:26:59 GMT -5
Listen up, fuckers and fuckettes.
My name is Ariel Shadows. You might remember me from such great places as Action Wrestling, WrestleUTA, or on the Philadeplhia Bellas of the LFL.
And now I have another fucking 1099 I have to file, because OPW has hired me to be their new Commissioner.
I am a regulator. A peace keeper. An enforcer. My job is to keep this place running so we can all make some god damn money and tell the people we used to work for to go suck one.
I don't believe that most of you have a problem with making money or getting to do things your own way. I'm not here to hand you a rulebook and stand there making sure you follow it. I might be a single woman in her 30s but I ain't your fucking mother hen.
I don't give a shit if you snort a line of Fentanyl off a dead hooker's ass on live TV. I'll just send your ass to rehab for a couple weeks. I won't make a big deal of it. I'll just make sure shit runs smooth as Taco Bell diarrhea.
And that leads me to the main reason I'm here. It seems like the two people who should be the ones doing my job are too busy arguing over whose dick looks bigger in the shower. Of course I'm referring to Roger Wright and LA Johnny Stylez.
Both these men are giving the investors, the HBO network and the fans massive headaches. Now normally I'd say fuck 'em. But they're the reason we all get paid and have money to blow on weed and Arcade1UP cabinets. We love wrestling or else we wouldn't be here fighting so hard to get this company off the ground.
I told you I wasn't gonna make a big deal of things and I was just gonna do my job. So here it is.
Roger, Johnny...cut your shit out. And I'm gonna make sure you cut your shit out. Because I'm not going to let ANY of you, either your Wolfpack or the Syndicate, step into that ring in Las Vegas.
Not until all you fucks go get therapy.
I'm not fucking kidding. I already scheduled your appointments. Check your emails if you can remember the password.
You fuck with Ariel, you'll see Shadows.
See y'all in Vegas.