It's The Same Old Thing As Yesterday
Sept 14, 2020 12:43:55 GMT -5
johnreaper, KOP, and 1 more like this
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2020 12:43:55 GMT -5
"King Of Pain" by The Police is playing on YouTube. I just Tweeted Vhodka Marie.
All I could do was pull it out of the box and admire its craftmanship. Like, there's no way I would ever use this. This is a show piece, like those bronze daggers they used to make in the ancient era. This one's going right on the bedroom nightstand. Alejandro is gonna freak the fuck out, until he finds out the story behind it. I might wait to tell him, just to see what happens.
"Jesus fucking Christ..."
Oh look, she Tweeted me back.
Like, did they actually bring RedRum into the studio and have him pose for this thing? Is this just some grade-a AutoCAD work? What fucking Japanese dildosmith made this? And how in God's name am I supposed to take this guy seriously at Stairway 2 Heaven when all I can see is his face on a silicone dick?
Okay. That's enough of that. I've got a promo to cut.
All I could do was pull it out of the box and admire its craftmanship. Like, there's no way I would ever use this. This is a show piece, like those bronze daggers they used to make in the ancient era. This one's going right on the bedroom nightstand. Alejandro is gonna freak the fuck out, until he finds out the story behind it. I might wait to tell him, just to see what happens.
"Jesus fucking Christ..."
Oh look, she Tweeted me back.
Like, did they actually bring RedRum into the studio and have him pose for this thing? Is this just some grade-a AutoCAD work? What fucking Japanese dildosmith made this? And how in God's name am I supposed to take this guy seriously at Stairway 2 Heaven when all I can see is his face on a silicone dick?
Okay. That's enough of that. I've got a promo to cut.
Fuck it, this is Outlaw Pro. Y'all want this lewd rowdy attitude shit, hang on let me see if I can do it right...
YOU WANT TO SEE SOME FUK'N BLOOD AND SHYT!!!!
YOU WANT TO SEE ME MAKE JAMES CENO BLEED LIKE BLAIR BUCHANNON-STYLEZ' PUSSY ON HER MOTHER FUCKING PERIOD!!!
YOU WANT TO SEE MY FUCKING TITS!!!
Did I do that right?
Now let's get started. I don't dig on my opponents. I realize that whatever the hell happened in the past is the past. My Action Wrestling championships mean about as much as James Ceno's CWF championships. We both won them in the past. We're facing each other in the very near future. That's what I'm concerned with.
I don't give a fuck what John Reaper is to this company, or how much the teenage boys like RedRum. I don't really care about James Ceno's past, nor Vhodka Marie my partner's. If I knew anything about KOP's past, I wouldn't give a damn about it either. We are all living in the now, and the now is that in a week we're fixing to be in the ring together at the LA Coliseum. That's what I'm worried about. Whatever the fuck y'all did before you got here is not of my concern.
James Ceno, I don't know what the fuck you do to women. I don't know if what they say on Twitter about you is true or not. I'm not worried about your sex life. I'm worried about your ground game. The only time I'm worried about you sweeping me off my feet is if you're trying to give me a hiptoss. But since you decided to dig into my past and throw some extra heat in my direction, allow me to give as I have received.
If you'd actually done your homework on me, you'd know the details behind my divorce. You'd have kept your dick beater shut on that if you knew anything of my ex-husband. Or maybe you DO know the name Madman Szalinski, don't you? Yeah. I think you know exactly who he is. Shame you didn't talk this kind of trash to him. He'd have you crying in the shower in four replies or less. So I think you think it's cool to just insult me for some cheap heel heat, and not even take the time to go watch my last few MMA fights. You know, like the one I just had against Cinzia Rossi that might wind up being the fight of the year? I won that fight, just like I did my other two. I'm about to get a GCC Bantamweight title fight soon. Somehow though, you didn't hit any of that with your bullshit shovel. Fuck it man, you didn't even dig deep enough to see where I chopped one of my trainees in the throat so hard I made her Mute.
You didn't do any digging. You raked the topsoil off, sat your ass down and had a beer. You don't know shit about shit. Next week in LA, I'm going to that ring and the first thing I'm going to do when I'm tagged in is come right at you. I want you, James Ceno, in the middle of that ring. I wanna know what kind of man you are. Let's see if I'm gonna either get a clean wrestling match out of you, or if you're gonna actually try to molest Vhdoka or I during the match and I wind up heelkicking one of your eyeballs out of its socket. I told you to earn my respect, and this is your chance. Blow it and God be with you.
I'm going to say something I haven't said since I was 22 and drank a half gallon of tequila.
I'm going to say something I haven't said since I was 22 and drank a half gallon of tequila.
James Ceno, suck my clit.
If that don't get you to come up off your ass and fight me, I guess next Monday's gonna be a long night for you buddy.
And don't think I forgot about your partners, either. Don't think that I forgot about John Wayne Reaper either. Don't think that I forgot about RedRum. I got something for them too. I got the perfect counter to all that creepypasta bullshit they think they are going to do that will get inside our heads. I got the perfect weapon against them; it's called reality. It's when that Kiai master who pretended to flip people around the mat with his mind powers put five grand up in a bet against a Pancrase fighter, and got the fucking shit beat out of him. That's what will happen at Stairway 2 Heaven. You send that little fuckin' demon girl you got in your entrance down at me, and I'll punt that fucking twat clear out the Coliseum and halfway to Anaheim. You try to do some stupid clown laugh and I'll knee your teeth out your mouth like Sagat. You'll think fucking TIGER! all right.
Y'all are bored-core. You want real violence? I mean, one of my partners is called the King Of Pain. I'm sure he'll be willing to help me show y'all what torture really feels like. Hint: it's not having you wave a machete in front of my face for ten minutes. It's having one of your fucking arms put behind your head until you think it's coming off your fucking torso. I don't have to tie you to a chair, I can tie you to yourself. I can choke you out with your own arms if I want to. Save the mind games for someone who believes in that kind of stuff. The only demonic presence in this match is the one I get whenever I got someone stunned and on the ropes, and I get that sudden urge to just run one of my extemities through their face. That's a real demon right there. Unless you're prepared for that kind of trouble, Stairway 2 Heaven is gonna turn into an elevator with a snapped cable. You're going down.
Oh, and one last thing. Unlike you fucks who probably don't even know each others' names...Vhodka Marie and I are coming into this as a team. We've already accepted that we inevitably have to face off with each other. And you know what? There's no pressure. We're not looking to get the other hurt during the six-man just to have an advantage in the three-way. We're just gonna win the first half of the match and then wing it from there. We'll see which one of us can get the win. Since KOP hasn't really been forthcoming with the help, fuck him. He can go first.
After that, we'll just be two girls havin' a roll on the mat. Two wrestlers wrestling to see who's better. I think that's the perfect ending to this match. We got a guy with a sexual assault gimmick, two serial killers in training, and a guy named after a goddamn Eighties soft rock song...and all of 'em are gonna wind up coming in third to sixth place after a six-foot-one redhead and a girl who put an 'h' in vodka.
That way, if she wins, I can congratulate a new friend and ask her sometime down the road later on for a run-back. And if I win, I can grab me a new briefcase with a shiny prize inside. Above all, you the fans get to go home feeling like you saw an awesome match. It's a win-win situation.
Yup.
I think I can live with that.
(...shit, that's gonna be too happy an ending for this crew. I better go ahead and just kick someone's eye out of its socket anyway, just to make sure...)