Ninth and final life of this so called cool cat
Jan 11, 2021 14:09:56 GMT -5
ARP, Roger Wright, and 3 more like this
Post by enforcer on Jan 11, 2021 14:09:56 GMT -5
*Scene*
::Enforcer is walking around the property of 12802 Easy Street in Tampa Bay, Florida. Enforcer has a pair of black Ray Ban sunglasses on, a silver t-shirt that says “The girl with the green hair won’t admit it but she loves Cool Ranch Doritos. She really is.”, a pair of black sweats, a pair of black, white, and silver New Balance shoes. A male employee of the property walks up to Enforcer.::Male employee:Hello, sir. I’m Brian with Big Cat Rescue.
Enforcer:Oh, you work here?
Male employee:I do.
Enforcer:So, what can I do for you?
Male Employee:The park is closed, sir. I am wondering how you got onto the property?
Enforcer:That is quite simple, my good man, I am here looking for the tiger with no eyes.
Male Employee:Tiger with no eyes? Excuse me for my language but what the fuck, sir?
Enforcer:Why would you need to excuse yourself if you are about to curse? Are you some sort of bitch?
Male employee:Um, my mistake, I guess.
Enforcer:Damn right it is. I am here trying to find the damn tiger that gave up him or her eyes so that damn Dark Tiger could have eyes and annoy the OPW roster. I am doing God’s work, dammit!
Male Employee:Who is Dark Tiger? Is he a magician in Vegas or something?
Enforcer:So, we are going to play that game, are we?
Male Employee:What game?
Enforcer:How very sly of you…
Male Employee:Tony. My name is Tony.
Enforcer:Tony? Your name is Tony?
Tony:That is what I just said.
Enforcer:I didn’t ask for your sass, Tony. Tony the tiger guy. If this doesn’t scream of a cover up I don’t know what does.
Tony:Tony the tiger guy? What about a cover up?
Enforcer:Listen Tony I appreciate what you are trying to do here having Carole Baskin’s back considering she probably used her last husband for dinner for her tigers.
Tony:WHAT?!?!?!
Enforcer:(Chuckles) That is good...Real good. If I didn’t know any better I would have believed you. I know your boss lady, Carole, is into some sick shit so why don’t you take me to the damn tiger she and Dark Tiger ripped the eyes out of so Dark Tiger can see like he claims.
Tony:I honestly have no idea what you are talking about, sir.
Enforcer:You are really sticking to your guns on this aren’t you? I can appreciate your loyalty. Now run along before I make you eat Nacho Cheese Doritos.
Tony:Nacho Cheese Doritos? Am I a piece of shit?
Enforcer:I know, I know Nacho Cheese Doritios is an extreme punishment for anyone but do you really want me to let you know if you are a piece of shit?
::Enforcer smiles as he turns to walk away leaving Tony with a confused look on his face.::
Enforcer:(Yelling) You Goddamn no eyed tiger, show yourself and what that crazy bitch Carole Baskin and Dark Tiger did to you!!!!
::Enforcer stops in his tracks and at a fork in the walkway.::
Enforcer:Goddamn cat!!! Where the fuck are you? I am not only dealing with Dark Tiger’s pussy ass but fucking Ryan Elis took it upon himself to jump me last week after another Prestige championship victory. Then on top of all that he wrote sinner on my chest in his attempt to turn OPW into the Scarlet letter. Mr. Elis, just because I didn’t pin you a few weeks ago doesn’t mean I didn’t turn you away in your attempt to claim my Prestige Heavyweight title. Get your ass to the back of the line where you can jerk off an Action Wrestling main eventer because I have better things to do then revisit those who I have already conquered.
::Enforcer walks toward the right in the fork in the road.::
Enforcer:Dark Tiger, I am sure we can both agree on the fact that I have allowed you to hang around far too long now. Time that you have foolishly gained some confidence in thinking you actually can hang with me. Which we all know is just a pipedream for the likes of you. It is why I am the greatest OPW Prestige Heavyweight champion of all times. Do you know once I beat Sebastian that I will have quadrupled the amount of successful title defenses that my preceding Prestige Heavyweight champions were able to rack up? Could all of those successful title defenses over the last five months just been a random fluke? I, like the rest of the world, know that kind of thinking is total bullshit and will get you beat. Why do you think I have been around in this for almost a quarter century in this business and to why I roll with the Syndicate? It is because of my charm, good looks, or my love for Cool Ranch Doritos? The chips of winners by the way. I, like most of the people on this roster have put in the work to get what we have achieved and got where we have gotten not only in this business but in this life of ours. We especially don’t give an inch or give anything else to any undeserving of anything in the kingdom much less the actual throne itself.
::Enforcer stops in front of a cage and sees a tiger roaming around the cage.::
Enforcer:HEY!!! You, the orange guy with black stripes all over. Where is your buddy without any eyes? I need to see that freak!!!
::Enforcer lets out a frustrated sigh as the tiger remains oblivious to him.::
Enforcer:This is harder than trying to find Jack The Ripper or to get some sociopath to truthfully admit that they like those disgusting Nacho Cheese Doritos. Damn they are gross.
::Enforcer flips the tiger off as he walks away from the cage he had just stopped at.::
Enforcer:How in the hell is this not easier to get done? I am looking for a tiger without any damn eyes!!! That would stand out in a pack. But noooo that psycho Carole Baskin has done something with that damn tiger. You know, thinking about, the tiger that ate her second husband has to be the same tiger that she and Dark Tiger used to get eyes for Dark Tiger’s eye transplant. Why am I not surprised? The entire world who watched Tiger King saw how fucked up each of these people are. At every damn turn each situation got worse and worse.
::Enforcer keeps walking looking at the next cage to see if he sees a tiger walking around.::
Enforcer:This is complete and utter bullshit. Sebastian must have lost his balls when he lost his eyesight because nobody has seen him for weeks yet he keeps sending his minions to try to dispose of me but now after I turned all of his stupid little yellow followers away he has to face me like a man. He has to survive me for thirty long ass minutes. Do you get that Sebastian? No matter how quickly or how many ever times I put you down you are stuck with me for thirty minutes, Sebastian? Can you honestly handle that? I mean truthfully, Sebastian? Not where you puff your chest out and spew out your false bravado. Can you really step into the ring and get things done when you are standing face to face with the longest reigning OPW Prestige Heavyweight champion of all time? The unwashed masses don’t think you can and I for damn sure know that you can’t get it done because simply put you just don’t have what it takes to get it done. You might be able to fool yourself but the entire world can see right through you. It is why you have turned into a ball less little bitch who can never show his face and step to me like an actual man. You have thirty minutes to prove me wrong but the entire world knows that you Sebastian are as wrong as Nacho Cheese Doritos.
::Enforcer stops and looks around the property.::
Enforcer:Fuck this! This is a waste of my time. Worrying about Sebastian at all is a fool's errand because regardless we all know I am keeping my championship. I am going to go steal some Cool Ranch Doritos from V’s secret stash of Cool Ranch Doritos.
::Enforcer walks back the way he came from as the camera fades to black.::