Post by lajohnnystylez on Apr 7, 2021 23:50:01 GMT -5
...You're staring at black. Wait why are you staring at a black screen? Because DUMMY, it's kind of the point! Don't worry just keep goin it will all make sense soon enough, K? WE PROMISE!!!
Anyway so back to this black screen. Just darkness, oblivion if some are to be believed. But then suddenly the silent serenity of nothingness is pierced by the sound of tapping...Light tapping. But as the black void vanishes and the images come into FOCUS (YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT PAINS US TO WRITE THAT WORD..but we digress) we find that the repetitve sound we all heard loudly and clearly wasn't tapping at all. As a matter of fact it was the sound of chopping. Not like some big ass lumberjack decked out to the 9's in flanel carrying a spitshined axe blade over his shoulder just moments before he grips it with both hands and with all the might and force God gave him slams it slightly above the trunk of the tree. No this is chopping on a much smalLer scale.
Then there before your very eyes is the greatest professional wrestler of all time. The present reigning and defending Outlaw Pro Wrestling Xtradition Champion, LA Johnny Stylez frantically hard at work with a thin razor blade clinched between his index finger and thumb as he seemingly trembles as he uses the blade to separate a small pile (only by comparisson) from a much larger pile of white yet shiney substance that is piled high on the extravagant table inside of his even more extravagant hotel room in Amsterdam.
Most of the OPW roster and backstage crew had moved onto Russia already to prepare for one of the final stops before the big pay off and completion of their very first overseas tour in Japan a few weeks away at a pay per view event called International Incident. But Johnny as you can all see for yourselves had opted to stay in Amsterdam, because well to put it plainly LA Johnny Stylez F'n LOVED Amsterdam and really Amsterdam LOVED LA Johnny Stylez right back. It was a match made in Heaven on this hell we call Earth. Yet there is nothing on Johnny's face right now that indicates he is presently enjoying the few remaining hours he has in this city before he must absolutely move on and join the rest on this mission of good will between The United States and Russia .
Which in all honesty is kinda where all of this nonsense began, but again stay with us we will circle back to that later. Next to LA Johnny Stylez pile of unspecified narcotics is an official letter signed by The President of the United States naming him and the rest of the talent booked to compete on the special episode of Monday Night ShowCa$e entitled VHODKA & VIOLENCE, official GOOD WILL AMBASSADORS of The UNITED STATES.Politically things between the two super power nations had gotten a bit tense as of late and when the United States government became aware of LA Johnny Stylez plans to return to Russia to run this special event that once upon a time was a very successful Pay Per View title in the company LA Johnny Stylez attained his ICONIC status New Edge Wrestling, they saw it as a opportunity to calm some of the hosilities between the two nations and so then decided to bestow an honor that The DON oF Di$Re$PECT, and everyone that knows him were beyond shocked to hear he had recieved.
His eyes shot over to the document as he briefly paused from his work at the table and laughed and shook his head as he continued chopping out his, well we will call it breakfast given that it's close enough to breakfast time and the enormous chance Johnny won't stop to eat any actual breakfast. After a few more chops Johnny takes the razor and moves it lightly against the pile of chopped up powder and lines it back up into a perfect straight line. He then begins looking for his snorting apparatus and can't seem to locate it. He looks all around the table, dropping the razor blade he even lifts up the Ambassador document to see if it had rolled underneath there on accident. It isn't until a few moments later that he discovers it was right where he left it...In his other F'n HAND!!!
He looks around to make sure he was the only one who caught any of that and after a quick sweep of the room he chuckles to himself and shakes his head as he presses the straw to his right nostril while using his free hand to close his other nostril and just before he bends down to snort it up he smiles and says...
LA Johnny Stylez: I LOOOOOOVVVVEEEEEE ME SOME AMSTERDAM!!!
He then bends down and
He then sits back up in his chair and closes his mouth and enhales deeply drawing the air through his nostrils forcing back any bit of his...breakfast that didn't make it all the way back. He then feels that brief tingly sensation in his brain as he balls his hand up in a fist and pounds the table as the burning sensation in his nostrils seems to sting a bit more than usual. He then slumps back into his chair and takes a deep breathe and just before he was about to reach HIS ZEN, a voice creeps out from the darkness scaring the utter BEJEZUS out of The ParaGoNa oF AMeRIKaNa!!!
Voice: REALLY JOHNNY? It's...Well I am not sure what fucking time it is, but it's not time to be doing all of that. Why don't you come back to bed?
The voice startles the OPW Xtraditon Champion who had his Championship title sitting in his lap. Until that voice broke his silent train of thought and caused an involuntary response where he shot up and his OPW Xtradition Title spilled onto the ground and his snortting straw and a few other random items went flying off the table and onto the floor. Johnny's eyes quickly shot up at the table to his large pile of drugs to make sure none of it was disturbed from it's wonderful pile he was careful not to set anywhere near the edge of the table for this very reason. And once he saw nothing was spilled he then bent over and began to collect the other random items that had spilled out onto the floor.
But then he stopoed what he was doing altogether as he looked up and a very mischevious smile slowly crept over his face as he saw THE ONE AND ONLY ANICKA SWAN walking towards him wearing a ridiciliously expensive silk robe he purchased for her not 24hours ago. But first he saw those legs...THOSE...FRIGGIN LEGS. Me and the uncomfortably long list of men and women who have had the courtesey of spending the night with Ms. Swan know exactly what the phuck we are talking about as Johnny freezes in place and watches those legs move one in front of the other until she is close enough to see those perfectly French manicured toes as his eyes slowly move upward to see her perfectly tone and shaped legs and even notice she still doesn't have any panties on. His eyes keep moving upward until they have met hers.& Johnny offers one of his typical Johnny Stylez smirks as he tosses the shit he collected off the floor back onto the table and slings the OPW Xtradition Championship belt over his shoulder. He just looks at her and shrugs his shoulders and picks up his razor blade and goes to chop out another.
Johnny Stylez allowed his head to hang for a moment as he felt the burning sensation shoot through his nostrils once again as he pounds the table once more slightly startling Ani as she looks at him with an exhausted kind of confusion as she continues her seemingly endless plea.
Anicka Swan Ohhhh NO JOHN-JOHN, ANI aint letting you off that easy this time MISTER!
LA Johnny Stylez: Come on Doll, must we do this again?  What do you want from me?
Anicka Swan: Ani wants to know why Ani wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to play and every night Ani has to walk out here and find you slaughtering your brain cells in droves!?!
LA Johnny Stylez: Uh, well I uhh, I couldn't sleep!
Ani then glares at Johnny's pile of drugs and the look on her face says everything it needed to as Johnny looks at her and fully understands her sarcastic GEE I WONDER WHY look on her face as he waves his hand in the air dismissively as he looks at her and then straight down seemingly trying to avoid further eye contact as he didn't particularly want to answer the question but since it was HER he answered anyway.
LA Johnny Stylez: OK FINE, I don't want to sleep is that what you wanna hear?
Anicka Swan: If that's the truth then yes. But now Ani wants to know why you don't want to sleep? It's good for you!
LA Johnny Stylez: DO I have to answer this?
Anicka Swan: Only if you want to see this robe on the floor between now and when we return back STaTeSiDe!
LA Johnny Stylez: YOU WOULDN'T DARE!!!
Anicka Swan: Ohhh you sure about that John-John? You are of course welcome to TRY ANI if you'd like!
Johnny looks into Ms. Swan's eyes and sees that despite her enormous...and boys and girls we mean ENORMOUS sexual appetite she can go on a diet JUST LIKE THAT! Which ya know ISN'T F'N FAIR at all! He looks at her smiling that victory smile of hers and we see him start to squirm as he really doesn't want to tell her which makes Ani want to know EVEN MORE...F'N WOMEN...AREWERITE? Johnny holds out as long as he can until he looks over and sees Anicka Swan's bare naked boobs.
For those of you that don't know, LA Johnny Stylez, is, was, and always WILL be a BooB GuY. Don't get us wrong ASSES are spectacular and it is a close race...But at the end of the day you see boobs and and if you don't get some after that it's either your fault or some freak of nature act of the devil type of shit...Like the sexual equivalent of getting struck by lighting. ANd Anicka Swan's massive WARLOXwere the only two reminders ole John-John ever neededto know why he was a proud card carrying BooB Man. Every inch of Anicka Swan's body looks like she was hand crafted by God with his gloves off for the sole purpose of sexual intercourse. And coming from someone who owns 69% of the biggest pornography distributor in history The PaRaGoNa oF AMeRiKaNa has gone on record saying Anicka Swan possess the type of skills that he or any of the other pornography companies in the world have failed to capture on camera, and now that Johnny has experienced such things we can tell by the look on his face as Anicka Swan takes one hand and covers up one nipple...and then the other hand and covers up the other. ANd then when she takes her left hand and slides it over to cover both breasts so she can grab her shirt Johnny panics and throws in the friggin towel...But just so you know Anicka Swan
LA Johnny Stylez: ALRIGHT...ALRIGHT I'LL TELL YA...JUST STOP DOIN THAT WILL YA!?!? Just so you know I very recently have adopted the policy to never negotiate with Terrorists, but I think even Mia Khalifa could tell you that The Al Queda and every insurgent that has ever dreamnt of blowing himself up for 12 virgins don't have shit on you...and neither do any of those virgins! Besides who in the hell wants 12 virgins? I mean I like a tight kooch as much as the next cat but...
Anicka Swan: SHUT UP! Ani isn't about to be distracted by one of your philosophical debates, although Ani will give you partial credit for effort, you almost had Ani...But since this is neither horseshoes nor hand grenades Ani suggests you start talking and fast!
LA Johnny Stylez: But just so we are clear we are more than likely going to circle back and actually have this discussion yes?
Anicka Swan: Ohhhhh yeah!
LA Johnny Stylez: But can't we talk about something more fun, like how I am going to climb inside of that ring with KOP beat the ever lovin piss out of him and make sure he never gets what he doesn't deserve in the first place which is a shot at my OPW XTRADITION CHAMPIONSHIP? Or we can talk about how I am probably NEVER EVER GOING TO LOOSE THIS TITLE! RIGHT?
Anicka Swan turns her head to the side as if she is trying to figure out whether or not she heard her significant other correctly. Did LA Johnny StyLez really just admit to her one of the reasons he is the way he is, and does the shit he does is because he is too afraid to go to sleep? Johnny glares right back at her waiting for the other shoe to drop or her to start laughing and the jokes to start coming. She just looks confused. So Johnny sees that he is unfortunately probably most likely...Is finna have to ELABORATE.
LA Johnny Stylez; Lil hard to believe is it? Don't believe me do ya? OK, well when you walked in I was passed out on the couch right?
Scene then quickly flashes to eariler in the evening where we see Anicka Swan enter their extravagant hotel room to see The DoN oF Di$Re$PECT lying on the black leather couch with a VR headset on drool dipping from his mouth, when suddenly he shoots up and says...
LA Johnny Stylez: DON'T EVEN PHUCKIN THINK ABOUT IT FATTY, YOU TOUCH IT AND I'LL TELL NEEGAN OVER HERE ABOUT THE TIME YOUR WIFE SUCKED MY BALLS SO HARD IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS TRYING TO GET THE CURE TO CANCER OUTTA THERE!
Scene then flashes back to the present where Johnny has his face in his hands as he just shakes his head as he briefly looks up and looks at Ani and says...
Anyway so back to this black screen. Just darkness, oblivion if some are to be believed. But then suddenly the silent serenity of nothingness is pierced by the sound of tapping...Light tapping. But as the black void vanishes and the images come into FOCUS (YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT PAINS US TO WRITE THAT WORD..but we digress) we find that the repetitve sound we all heard loudly and clearly wasn't tapping at all. As a matter of fact it was the sound of chopping. Not like some big ass lumberjack decked out to the 9's in flanel carrying a spitshined axe blade over his shoulder just moments before he grips it with both hands and with all the might and force God gave him slams it slightly above the trunk of the tree. No this is chopping on a much smalLer scale.
Then there before your very eyes is the greatest professional wrestler of all time. The present reigning and defending Outlaw Pro Wrestling Xtradition Champion, LA Johnny Stylez frantically hard at work with a thin razor blade clinched between his index finger and thumb as he seemingly trembles as he uses the blade to separate a small pile (only by comparisson) from a much larger pile of white yet shiney substance that is piled high on the extravagant table inside of his even more extravagant hotel room in Amsterdam.
Most of the OPW roster and backstage crew had moved onto Russia already to prepare for one of the final stops before the big pay off and completion of their very first overseas tour in Japan a few weeks away at a pay per view event called International Incident. But Johnny as you can all see for yourselves had opted to stay in Amsterdam, because well to put it plainly LA Johnny Stylez F'n LOVED Amsterdam and really Amsterdam LOVED LA Johnny Stylez right back. It was a match made in Heaven on this hell we call Earth. Yet there is nothing on Johnny's face right now that indicates he is presently enjoying the few remaining hours he has in this city before he must absolutely move on and join the rest on this mission of good will between The United States and Russia .
Which in all honesty is kinda where all of this nonsense began, but again stay with us we will circle back to that later. Next to LA Johnny Stylez pile of unspecified narcotics is an official letter signed by The President of the United States naming him and the rest of the talent booked to compete on the special episode of Monday Night ShowCa$e entitled VHODKA & VIOLENCE, official GOOD WILL AMBASSADORS of The UNITED STATES.Politically things between the two super power nations had gotten a bit tense as of late and when the United States government became aware of LA Johnny Stylez plans to return to Russia to run this special event that once upon a time was a very successful Pay Per View title in the company LA Johnny Stylez attained his ICONIC status New Edge Wrestling, they saw it as a opportunity to calm some of the hosilities between the two nations and so then decided to bestow an honor that The DON oF Di$Re$PECT, and everyone that knows him were beyond shocked to hear he had recieved.
His eyes shot over to the document as he briefly paused from his work at the table and laughed and shook his head as he continued chopping out his, well we will call it breakfast given that it's close enough to breakfast time and the enormous chance Johnny won't stop to eat any actual breakfast. After a few more chops Johnny takes the razor and moves it lightly against the pile of chopped up powder and lines it back up into a perfect straight line. He then begins looking for his snorting apparatus and can't seem to locate it. He looks all around the table, dropping the razor blade he even lifts up the Ambassador document to see if it had rolled underneath there on accident. It isn't until a few moments later that he discovers it was right where he left it...In his other F'n HAND!!!
He looks around to make sure he was the only one who caught any of that and after a quick sweep of the room he chuckles to himself and shakes his head as he presses the straw to his right nostril while using his free hand to close his other nostril and just before he bends down to snort it up he smiles and says...
LA Johnny Stylez: I LOOOOOOVVVVEEEEEE ME SOME AMSTERDAM!!!
He then bends down and
SNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
He then sits back up in his chair and closes his mouth and enhales deeply drawing the air through his nostrils forcing back any bit of his...breakfast that didn't make it all the way back. He then feels that brief tingly sensation in his brain as he balls his hand up in a fist and pounds the table as the burning sensation in his nostrils seems to sting a bit more than usual. He then slumps back into his chair and takes a deep breathe and just before he was about to reach HIS ZEN, a voice creeps out from the darkness scaring the utter BEJEZUS out of The ParaGoNa oF AMeRIKaNa!!!
Voice: REALLY JOHNNY? It's...Well I am not sure what fucking time it is, but it's not time to be doing all of that. Why don't you come back to bed?
The voice startles the OPW Xtraditon Champion who had his Championship title sitting in his lap. Until that voice broke his silent train of thought and caused an involuntary response where he shot up and his OPW Xtradition Title spilled onto the ground and his snortting straw and a few other random items went flying off the table and onto the floor. Johnny's eyes quickly shot up at the table to his large pile of drugs to make sure none of it was disturbed from it's wonderful pile he was careful not to set anywhere near the edge of the table for this very reason. And once he saw nothing was spilled he then bent over and began to collect the other random items that had spilled out onto the floor.
But then he stopoed what he was doing altogether as he looked up and a very mischevious smile slowly crept over his face as he saw THE ONE AND ONLY ANICKA SWAN walking towards him wearing a ridiciliously expensive silk robe he purchased for her not 24hours ago. But first he saw those legs...THOSE...FRIGGIN LEGS. Me and the uncomfortably long list of men and women who have had the courtesey of spending the night with Ms. Swan know exactly what the phuck we are talking about as Johnny freezes in place and watches those legs move one in front of the other until she is close enough to see those perfectly French manicured toes as his eyes slowly move upward to see her perfectly tone and shaped legs and even notice she still doesn't have any panties on. His eyes keep moving upward until they have met hers.& Johnny offers one of his typical Johnny Stylez smirks as he tosses the shit he collected off the floor back onto the table and slings the OPW Xtradition Championship belt over his shoulder. He just looks at her and shrugs his shoulders and picks up his razor blade and goes to chop out another.
Anick Swan on the other hand doesn't appear to be amused in the slightest. Her arms crossed her blue eyes glaring daggers at The DoN oF Di$Re$PeCT, as he silently wondered to himself if he was wrong for the massive erection he had gotten as a result of the exchange the two of them were presently engaged in. He shrugged it off because his eyes caught hers, a d when they did he caught her looking to see if that was the case...
At which point his smirk went to a full blown smile as he looked up at her and silently mouthed the words..."I'M NOT EVEN SORRY" as her "SeRiOuS" face melted away into a smile (as it seemed to always do in situations just like this one) followed by soft laughter as she slapped him in his arm and pulled out a chair right next to his and sat down. A look of concern came over her face as she sat there and watched Johnny be Johnny as he moved the razor blade horoziontally moving his chopped powder into a thick straight line then bent down and
SSSSSSNNNNNNIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Johnny Stylez allowed his head to hang for a moment as he felt the burning sensation shoot through his nostrils once again as he pounds the table once more slightly startling Ani as she looks at him with an exhausted kind of confusion as she continues her seemingly endless plea.
Anicka Swan Ohhhh NO JOHN-JOHN, ANI aint letting you off that easy this time MISTER!
LA Johnny Stylez: Come on Doll, must we do this again?  What do you want from me?
Anicka Swan: Ani wants to know why Ani wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to play and every night Ani has to walk out here and find you slaughtering your brain cells in droves!?!
LA Johnny Stylez: Uh, well I uhh, I couldn't sleep!
Ani then glares at Johnny's pile of drugs and the look on her face says everything it needed to as Johnny looks at her and fully understands her sarcastic GEE I WONDER WHY look on her face as he waves his hand in the air dismissively as he looks at her and then straight down seemingly trying to avoid further eye contact as he didn't particularly want to answer the question but since it was HER he answered anyway.
LA Johnny Stylez: OK FINE, I don't want to sleep is that what you wanna hear?
Anicka Swan: If that's the truth then yes. But now Ani wants to know why you don't want to sleep? It's good for you!
LA Johnny Stylez: DO I have to answer this?
Anicka Swan: Only if you want to see this robe on the floor between now and when we return back STaTeSiDe!
LA Johnny Stylez: YOU WOULDN'T DARE!!!
Anicka Swan: Ohhh you sure about that John-John? You are of course welcome to TRY ANI if you'd like!
Johnny looks into Ms. Swan's eyes and sees that despite her enormous...and boys and girls we mean ENORMOUS sexual appetite she can go on a diet JUST LIKE THAT! Which ya know ISN'T F'N FAIR at all! He looks at her smiling that victory smile of hers and we see him start to squirm as he really doesn't want to tell her which makes Ani want to know EVEN MORE...F'N WOMEN...AREWERITE? Johnny holds out as long as he can until he looks over and sees Anicka Swan's bare naked boobs.
For those of you that don't know, LA Johnny Stylez, is, was, and always WILL be a BooB GuY. Don't get us wrong ASSES are spectacular and it is a close race...But at the end of the day you see boobs and and if you don't get some after that it's either your fault or some freak of nature act of the devil type of shit...Like the sexual equivalent of getting struck by lighting. ANd Anicka Swan's massive WARLOXwere the only two reminders ole John-John ever neededto know why he was a proud card carrying BooB Man. Every inch of Anicka Swan's body looks like she was hand crafted by God with his gloves off for the sole purpose of sexual intercourse. And coming from someone who owns 69% of the biggest pornography distributor in history The PaRaGoNa oF AMeRiKaNa has gone on record saying Anicka Swan possess the type of skills that he or any of the other pornography companies in the world have failed to capture on camera, and now that Johnny has experienced such things we can tell by the look on his face as Anicka Swan takes one hand and covers up one nipple...and then the other hand and covers up the other. ANd then when she takes her left hand and slides it over to cover both breasts so she can grab her shirt Johnny panics and throws in the friggin towel...But just so you know Anicka Swan
GIRLS GO TO THE 7TH CIRCLE OF HELL FOR SHIT LIKE THIS!
!!!!REAL LIFE!!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: ALRIGHT...ALRIGHT I'LL TELL YA...JUST STOP DOIN THAT WILL YA!?!? Just so you know I very recently have adopted the policy to never negotiate with Terrorists, but I think even Mia Khalifa could tell you that The Al Queda and every insurgent that has ever dreamnt of blowing himself up for 12 virgins don't have shit on you...and neither do any of those virgins! Besides who in the hell wants 12 virgins? I mean I like a tight kooch as much as the next cat but...
Anicka Swan: SHUT UP! Ani isn't about to be distracted by one of your philosophical debates, although Ani will give you partial credit for effort, you almost had Ani...But since this is neither horseshoes nor hand grenades Ani suggests you start talking and fast!
LA Johnny Stylez: But just so we are clear we are more than likely going to circle back and actually have this discussion yes?
Anicka Swan: Ohhhhh yeah!
LA Johnny Stylez: But can't we talk about something more fun, like how I am going to climb inside of that ring with KOP beat the ever lovin piss out of him and make sure he never gets what he doesn't deserve in the first place which is a shot at my OPW XTRADITION CHAMPIONSHIP? Or we can talk about how I am probably NEVER EVER GOING TO LOOSE THIS TITLE! RIGHT?
Anicka Swan: Ani doesn't know they do say to never say never in this business there John John!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yes, but every rule that has ever existed on this planet has had an exception and well one thing I have learned being apart of The SyNDiCaTe over the last year is that most of if not all the time I or we collectively are that exception! Call me crazy but I guess I've just gotten use to it!
Anicka Swan: Yeah well if you and Xavi don't kiss and make up soon there may not be a SyNDiCaTe to make the rules for everyone!
LA Johnny Stylez: WAIT...WHAT? WHY DO YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT?...DID HE PHUCKIN SAY SOMETHIN?
Anicka Swan: No, John John, call down babe.He didn't say shit to Ani, but Ani has known Xavier for a very long time! And in Ani's opinion it would be best for all of us if the two of you buried the hatchet so to speak, because the longer these things are allowed to linger the worse they become that is just good old fashioned common sense!
LA Johnny Stylez: But he didn't like say anything to you about leavin or anythin like that?...Nothin about turning on us for the shit that's been going on lately? I mean he is off playing WOLF FAMILY again when I worked very hard to drive that wedge inbetween he and his brother...SO we could build an empire to rule the wrestling world...And then right when the army is built and then we practically assume control over pro wrestling in it's entirety suddenly it all seems to start to unravel and before you know it there is enough rope for one of us to hang. And well...
Anicka Swan: And well what?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well this is freaky...This is exactly how it went down in my dream...Well kinda...You were there but it wasn't like YOU...YOU...You were a wolf, and so were the Wolves...I mean Xa...You know what I mean!
Anicka just looks at Johnny as his tone rapidly increased and his thoughts seemed to seemingly jump from one to the other without so much as a anything that faintly resembled a proper transition!
LA Johnny Stylez: And then that fat phuck Ryan Pugh was there talking shit like he always it..And then NEEGAN from the WalKinG DEAD...But it wasn't really Neegan I just called him that because I knew it pissed him off...
Anicka Swan: Wait who? Ryan Pugh was Neegan?
LA Johnny Stylez: NO...That's not at all what I said...Ani, babe please try and keep up!
Anicka Swan: Ani is trying to very hard. One minute you are talking about handing KOP his ass to make sure he doesn't get another shot at your Xtradition TItle...THen you're flipping out over what Xavier did or didn't say to me, and some how we got on the subject of your old tag team partner and the least likeable character on the Walking Dead!
LA Johnny Stylez: NO PHUCK THAT! Andrea was the least likeable char on the WALKING DEAD HANDS DOWN!
Anicka Swan: All of this is just an elaborate way for you to avoid telling Ani why it is you are constantly fighting a war against sleep! Are you dreams really that bad?
LA Johnny Stylez: No Ani..they are worse than that! They are utterly horrifying...I know what you are thinking now and I was really hoping you wouldn't think it, because you are wondering how could they posibly be that bad as to scare me away from sleeping! ANd there is no way I can properly say that aloud without describing the dream to you so I am going to have to just man up and describe it to you aren't I?
LA Johnny Stylez; Lil hard to believe is it? Don't believe me do ya? OK, well when you walked in I was passed out on the couch right?
Scene then quickly flashes to eariler in the evening where we see Anicka Swan enter their extravagant hotel room to see The DoN oF Di$Re$PECT lying on the black leather couch with a VR headset on drool dipping from his mouth, when suddenly he shoots up and says...
LA Johnny Stylez: DON'T EVEN PHUCKIN THINK ABOUT IT FATTY, YOU TOUCH IT AND I'LL TELL NEEGAN OVER HERE ABOUT THE TIME YOUR WIFE SUCKED MY BALLS SO HARD IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS TRYING TO GET THE CURE TO CANCER OUTTA THERE!
Scene then flashes back to the present where Johnny has his face in his hands as he just shakes his head as he briefly looks up and looks at Ani and says...
LA Johnny Stylez: So yeah that will all make so much more sense after I explain...So get comfy DoLL...Cause uh..
~$~ !!!!IT'S FiNNA GeT WeIRD!!!! ~$~
LiKe BRaNDoN MooRe'S RooM WHeN He WaS A TeeNAGeR WEIRD!!!
Nah I'm just jokin...I mean it gets crazy but not dead cat in the mailbox crazy!
Anicka Swan: Ani is afraid so John John! But right now Ani's sees you are a little wound up...Perhaps you need to relax a little before you tell Ani your scary story!
LA Johnny Stylez: See now you are talking my language, because also I am pretty sure that when I was grindin all that shit into the fine powder you see before you now a Cilas or three may or may no have fallen into the grinding bowl so I have had this raging boner for almost two and a half hours...Bout an hour and a half more and I will need to seek medical attention!
Anicka Swan: Ohhh, well good thing you came to Ani with this information, because Ani may not have a proper PHD persay but Ani just so happens to be an expert in this particular field...You leave it to Ani let's see if we can straighten you out!
Anicka pushes Johnny backwards and then straddles his as her tongue gently dances across the rim of his earlobe, making his raging boner rage even harder almost to the point of pain. Which is when Ms. Swan begins to slowly kiss down his neck, down his chest, and then down...Well you know...
The GOOD NEWS FOR JOHNNY...and bad news for the rest of you nosey peepin TOM PERVERTZ, is that this is where we must leave you for time being, because well what happens next is not for YOUR EYES...So if you want to know about the type of dreams Johnny has that scare him from sleepin, or hear more about his future plans for the domination of OUTLAW/PRO WRESTLING in general over the next year then join us next week same Di$Re$PeCTFUL TIME...SAME DiSRe$PeCTFUL CHANNEL! But as we fade away before the screen goes blank we hear Johnny's pants unbuckle and we see that sly arrogant smirk shoot across his face as he looks up at the camera extends is middle finger and we see him mouth the words
!!!!SoaK!!!!!
!!!!SoMe!!!!!
!!!!!UP!!!!!!
As the scene then abruptly fades out leaving you with these words and the simple notion that this time like all those other times
...HaS BeeN YOUR PLea$uRE
(DIDN'T STEAL THAT FROM SSS EITHER YA F'N LAME ASS!!!)
And as much as we would love to stay here and answer JMONTS pathetic attempt at pretending to be SSS...pretending to be Eminem sorry to report that this isn't 2006 or the set of 8 MiLe or the set of TRL so we can't join JMONT in a battle of RHYMES not just because we are all out of time, mainly because before we say
ToBeKoNTiNuED
...We Wanted To Point Out That YoUR BOY IS PLAYED OUT AND IS ABOUT ONE PLAGARIZED RAP LINE AWAY FROM BEING TAKEN OUT, AND BEATEN SO BADLY HE IS MEDICALLY FORCED TO STAY OUT!
But More On The Public Execution Of Ja Rule...OopZ WE MEANT JMONT NEXT TIME...
4:19
GoT
-A-
??MiNuTe??