Freakier Friday: The rest of the story
Apr 28, 2021 20:11:58 GMT -5
☠ VooDoo ☠, Miss Michelle, and 1 more like this
Post by coolrifletk47 on Apr 28, 2021 20:11:58 GMT -5
Heyyyyyy P-Bomb, can you come up here a second, I got a quick question to ask ya. Won’t take but a second.
(Good ol TK had made himself comfortable in the front of the WANNABANGOHHHHHH!. His feet rested calmly on the green carpeted dashboard. He had a cool, crisp Zima, infused with a sour apple jolly rancher resting in his hand. He appeared calm, almost serene as he appeared to wait patiently on the arrival of the diminutive, only in stature, War King of Dubai. His good friend Pierre.
Pierre had peaked his head in from the back of the vehicle and appeared slightly annoyed with being summoned. It was unclear if Pierre had been busy working on a military coup, some armed insurgency mission, or trying to find just the right amount of sugar to put into his sweet tea, but he had clearly been interrupted and seemed to be less than pleased about it.
When Pierre arrived at the front of the mobile Party machine, he saw Kain, his relaxed demeanor seemed somewhat oft putting for the War King of Dubai.) Pierre had known Kain a long time and relaxed was never a word he would have used to describe him. When Tommy was acting like this it usually meant that TK was irritated or upset about something and he was trying to keep his emotions in check. Pierre thought about a million different ways to approach this particular situation. He was pretty sure what TK was going to ask him about and he was pretty sure he had an answer.
Whether Tommy was going to like the answer was a whole different kettle of fish.
As Pierre somewhat nervously sat down in the WANNABANGOHHHHHH! Co-pilot seat TK took a long swig of his Zima and began rubbing his temples, then he took a deep breath and began talking calmly and slowly.) Pierre pretty much knew that this was too calm and too slow. Kain was moments from blowing a gasket.)
Soooooo PB and J how are you doing my friend? Did I catch you at a bad time? Were you super busy?
Well Thomas, actually I was in the middle of making us all some refreshing Sweet Tea right when you……
That’s fantastic P, so I just got a pretty sweet phone call from Vhodka Marie a minute ago.
(Pierre began shifting a little more nervously because he knew exactly where this conversation was going to go and precisely how TK would react.)
Really Thomas, what did she have to say?
Oh gosh Peanut, not much. You know the normal Champion to challenger phone call. Little trash talk, a little verbal sparring……THEN EXPLAINING TO ME THAT SOMEHOW SHE WAS PMONT AND HIS SOUL HAD GOTTEN TRAPPED IN HER GOT DAMNED BODY!
So then I got to thinking “Hmmmm, who do I know that could possibly do some Freaky Friday type stuff like that?”
So, I am not going to ask if you did it P, because I am sure you did. I am going to ask you WHAT you did and then I am going to ask you WHY you did it?
Are you not going to inquire HOW I did such a thing Thomas?
No Pierre, no I am not going to ask HOW. Just like I never ask HOW Tater Tots are made or HOW there has never been another Cannonball Run sequel or HOW Dark Tiger got such a lousy name. Some stuff is meant to be a mystery P.
So instead let’s get back on track, WHAT did you do?
Well Thomas, I took their souls out of their bodies and placed one into the other then vice versa.
DUDE, YOU DID WHAT, YOU SWAPPED THEIR SOULS? DUDE, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE WE COULD GET INTO FOR THIS? IT IS TWO THOUSAND AND TWENTY-ONE BRO! YOU CAN’T JUST SWITCH PEOPLE’S SOULS WITHOUT CONSENT! I AM ALMOST TWO HUNDRED PERCENT POSITIVE THAT IS SOME KIND OF SOUL RAPE! WE HAVE TO HAVE CONSENT FOR EVERYTHING P, AND THERE IS NO WAY SOUL RAPE IS NOT ON THAT TABLE SOMEWHERE?
Thomas, do not overreact. It is a fairly simple procedure if you have the right implements and ingredients, and it just so happened that I do. I can switch them back whenever I wish.
Okay, give me a second. So, what you are telling me is that you can switch people in and out like underwear on Tuesday laundry night and you never thought that was something that maybe I would like to know?
What could you possibly do with that information Thomas?
Oh I don’t know P, PROBABLY TAKE OVER THE WHOLE DAMN UNIVERSE. OR AT THE VERY LEAST HAVE A FANTASTIC TIME AT EVERY STRIP CLUB IN AMERICA AND AT LEAST TWO IN EVERY OTHER COUNTRY ON THE PLANET EXCEPT PROBABLY THE PHILLIPINES or Thailand because you know, the lady boys.
Thomas, this kind of power is not for everyone and we both know that something like this would take you down a road from which you may never return. You would be one Thailand lady-boy away from a darkness you wouldn’t ever be able to overcome.
Okay, that’s fair, but this leads me to my other question, WHY?
Honestly Thomas, that is a rather fair inquiry. One that definitely deserves an answer. Maybe I just wanted to teach those two a valuable lesson.
Ummm, what lesson Pecan Pie?
Oh I don’t know Thomas, perhaps to be kind, perhaps to appreciate what they have instead of wishing for what they don’t, perhaps to brush and floss between meals. Or maybe not to piss off a War King from Dubai.
Oh man P-diddle, what a terrible idea, I mean when has something like that ever worked?
Thomas, Freaky Friday, 18 Again, Like Father…Like Son, Seed of Chucky…
P, those are all…………Really good examples, hell man, you might be right on with this one. I mean I still think the Soul Rapey thing may come back to bite us in the long run but we just have to convince the judge that they both wanted it.
But anyways man, they are on there way over here and I am gonna need you to change them back. We have a triple threat match for the Southern Title and if me and our new best friend Pmont are gonna be the brothers from other mothers I can’t be hanging out with him sporting a pair of fangs, looking all crackhouse chic. Too much of a style clash if ya get where I am goin.
And the way I figure, the last thing ol’ Vhodka veins needs is that silly Southern Title adding to her day-to-day drama. So, the way I got it figured is that the best thing that the brothers from other mothers can do for her is to relieve her of that burden. I mean I don’t know her like that but…….Come to think of it I don’t know much about her at all except for that she is friends with that blue topped douche canoe, has a pair of fangs for no good reason, smells like candy and dreams and drinks enough to make me consider blushing. But she is cool with Stylez and Stylez sucks so she sucks by proxy and as far as I am concerned that is more than enough.
More than enough for what Thomas?
More than enough to know that TK and Paul, the brothers from other mothers and next greatest tag team that has ever lived would definitely be a better Southern Champion than the current champeen.
Hold on P, I think Paul is here.
Okay you little psycho, get me out of this body yesterday. I never realized being inside a chick would be this………….LAME!
So Pauly, that is really you in there huh? Like you had to pee sitting down and everything?
Yes, Tommy, yes I did. And worse than that your friend decides to body swap me with a chick with a pair of A cups, like really Pierre, her chest is barely bigger than mine. I mean the whole point of ever becoming a girl is so you can grab your own rack and look at your boobs in a mirror. Like you Took Monty Python away from me and gave me zip in return man and I gotta say, that is NOT COOL.
Wasn’t like there weren’t other options either Pierre you dick, Apathy, Annicka Swan, basically alphabetically your choices were endless. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Here we are. Do you know how many times I have bit my tongue and lip with these damn Vamp teeth today? I also think Marie needs to see a Doctor because she is literally always itchy. And not even in the normal places. I will put it like this, this sucks and I want my body back.
Well hold tight Paul, I mean to be fair and all Soul Rape aside, you did kind of have this coming.
Wait, what did you just say? How in the hell can you say I deserve this kind of hell wrapped in Heroin Chic?
Well I think it is more Crackhouse Chic at this point but, you did kidnap our friend.
OH MY GOD, are you guys ever going to let that go?
Oh, I mean I have gotten over it. It took a minute and a few bottles of Zima, fifth of Jack, couple shots of Patron, a whole Jolly Rancher Stick, and a packet of Sugar Free Margarita mix. But Pierre is from Dubai and as it turns out, those little fellas hold a hell of a grudge.
(Vhodka/Paul put his/her head down and stared at the floor for what seemed to be a really long time. Vhodka/Paul then knelt down and looked Pierre square in the eyes. Vhodka/Paul took a deep breath and began to speak.)
Pierre, I am sorry. Not just for kidnapping GOAT but for taking your friend away from you. I know now how that must have hurt. I don’t know if it hurt as much as having to wear this thong that is currently scraping my pancreas right now but I am sure it was probably close. But I want you to know I am sorry.
Now will you please use whatever mumbo jumbo you need to and get me back in my body. It is hard telling what Monty may have talked Marie into doing.
Wait, Monty?
Yes Tom, Monty Python?
No man, I knew who you were talking about but what do you mean “Talked her into”?
Oh, well yeah, Monty talks, I mean doesn’t your Cool Rifle speak to you? I just figured everybody’s hang dang did the talkin thang.
(Before Tommy could respond and before Pierre could ask the same questions most of the viewing audience was probably wishing they could ask there was another knock on the door.)
Paul/Marie is here, now we can get this show on the road.
God damnit, get me out of this body right now, Monty Python is starting to rise up again and I don’t think his right arm has the strength to put it down again and that lack of blood flow is gonna make me pass out.
Thomas, I will go get the Baja Blast, this will only take a moment.
(Good ol TK had made himself comfortable in the front of the WANNABANGOHHHHHH!. His feet rested calmly on the green carpeted dashboard. He had a cool, crisp Zima, infused with a sour apple jolly rancher resting in his hand. He appeared calm, almost serene as he appeared to wait patiently on the arrival of the diminutive, only in stature, War King of Dubai. His good friend Pierre.
Pierre had peaked his head in from the back of the vehicle and appeared slightly annoyed with being summoned. It was unclear if Pierre had been busy working on a military coup, some armed insurgency mission, or trying to find just the right amount of sugar to put into his sweet tea, but he had clearly been interrupted and seemed to be less than pleased about it.
When Pierre arrived at the front of the mobile Party machine, he saw Kain, his relaxed demeanor seemed somewhat oft putting for the War King of Dubai.) Pierre had known Kain a long time and relaxed was never a word he would have used to describe him. When Tommy was acting like this it usually meant that TK was irritated or upset about something and he was trying to keep his emotions in check. Pierre thought about a million different ways to approach this particular situation. He was pretty sure what TK was going to ask him about and he was pretty sure he had an answer.
Whether Tommy was going to like the answer was a whole different kettle of fish.
As Pierre somewhat nervously sat down in the WANNABANGOHHHHHH! Co-pilot seat TK took a long swig of his Zima and began rubbing his temples, then he took a deep breath and began talking calmly and slowly.) Pierre pretty much knew that this was too calm and too slow. Kain was moments from blowing a gasket.)
Soooooo PB and J how are you doing my friend? Did I catch you at a bad time? Were you super busy?
Well Thomas, actually I was in the middle of making us all some refreshing Sweet Tea right when you……
That’s fantastic P, so I just got a pretty sweet phone call from Vhodka Marie a minute ago.
(Pierre began shifting a little more nervously because he knew exactly where this conversation was going to go and precisely how TK would react.)
Really Thomas, what did she have to say?
Oh gosh Peanut, not much. You know the normal Champion to challenger phone call. Little trash talk, a little verbal sparring……THEN EXPLAINING TO ME THAT SOMEHOW SHE WAS PMONT AND HIS SOUL HAD GOTTEN TRAPPED IN HER GOT DAMNED BODY!
So then I got to thinking “Hmmmm, who do I know that could possibly do some Freaky Friday type stuff like that?”
So, I am not going to ask if you did it P, because I am sure you did. I am going to ask you WHAT you did and then I am going to ask you WHY you did it?
Are you not going to inquire HOW I did such a thing Thomas?
No Pierre, no I am not going to ask HOW. Just like I never ask HOW Tater Tots are made or HOW there has never been another Cannonball Run sequel or HOW Dark Tiger got such a lousy name. Some stuff is meant to be a mystery P.
So instead let’s get back on track, WHAT did you do?
Well Thomas, I took their souls out of their bodies and placed one into the other then vice versa.
DUDE, YOU DID WHAT, YOU SWAPPED THEIR SOULS? DUDE, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE WE COULD GET INTO FOR THIS? IT IS TWO THOUSAND AND TWENTY-ONE BRO! YOU CAN’T JUST SWITCH PEOPLE’S SOULS WITHOUT CONSENT! I AM ALMOST TWO HUNDRED PERCENT POSITIVE THAT IS SOME KIND OF SOUL RAPE! WE HAVE TO HAVE CONSENT FOR EVERYTHING P, AND THERE IS NO WAY SOUL RAPE IS NOT ON THAT TABLE SOMEWHERE?
Thomas, do not overreact. It is a fairly simple procedure if you have the right implements and ingredients, and it just so happened that I do. I can switch them back whenever I wish.
Okay, give me a second. So, what you are telling me is that you can switch people in and out like underwear on Tuesday laundry night and you never thought that was something that maybe I would like to know?
What could you possibly do with that information Thomas?
Oh I don’t know P, PROBABLY TAKE OVER THE WHOLE DAMN UNIVERSE. OR AT THE VERY LEAST HAVE A FANTASTIC TIME AT EVERY STRIP CLUB IN AMERICA AND AT LEAST TWO IN EVERY OTHER COUNTRY ON THE PLANET EXCEPT PROBABLY THE PHILLIPINES or Thailand because you know, the lady boys.
Thomas, this kind of power is not for everyone and we both know that something like this would take you down a road from which you may never return. You would be one Thailand lady-boy away from a darkness you wouldn’t ever be able to overcome.
Okay, that’s fair, but this leads me to my other question, WHY?
Honestly Thomas, that is a rather fair inquiry. One that definitely deserves an answer. Maybe I just wanted to teach those two a valuable lesson.
Ummm, what lesson Pecan Pie?
Oh I don’t know Thomas, perhaps to be kind, perhaps to appreciate what they have instead of wishing for what they don’t, perhaps to brush and floss between meals. Or maybe not to piss off a War King from Dubai.
Oh man P-diddle, what a terrible idea, I mean when has something like that ever worked?
Thomas, Freaky Friday, 18 Again, Like Father…Like Son, Seed of Chucky…
P, those are all…………Really good examples, hell man, you might be right on with this one. I mean I still think the Soul Rapey thing may come back to bite us in the long run but we just have to convince the judge that they both wanted it.
But anyways man, they are on there way over here and I am gonna need you to change them back. We have a triple threat match for the Southern Title and if me and our new best friend Pmont are gonna be the brothers from other mothers I can’t be hanging out with him sporting a pair of fangs, looking all crackhouse chic. Too much of a style clash if ya get where I am goin.
And the way I figure, the last thing ol’ Vhodka veins needs is that silly Southern Title adding to her day-to-day drama. So, the way I got it figured is that the best thing that the brothers from other mothers can do for her is to relieve her of that burden. I mean I don’t know her like that but…….Come to think of it I don’t know much about her at all except for that she is friends with that blue topped douche canoe, has a pair of fangs for no good reason, smells like candy and dreams and drinks enough to make me consider blushing. But she is cool with Stylez and Stylez sucks so she sucks by proxy and as far as I am concerned that is more than enough.
More than enough for what Thomas?
More than enough to know that TK and Paul, the brothers from other mothers and next greatest tag team that has ever lived would definitely be a better Southern Champion than the current champeen.
Hold on P, I think Paul is here.
Okay you little psycho, get me out of this body yesterday. I never realized being inside a chick would be this………….LAME!
So Pauly, that is really you in there huh? Like you had to pee sitting down and everything?
Yes, Tommy, yes I did. And worse than that your friend decides to body swap me with a chick with a pair of A cups, like really Pierre, her chest is barely bigger than mine. I mean the whole point of ever becoming a girl is so you can grab your own rack and look at your boobs in a mirror. Like you Took Monty Python away from me and gave me zip in return man and I gotta say, that is NOT COOL.
Wasn’t like there weren’t other options either Pierre you dick, Apathy, Annicka Swan, basically alphabetically your choices were endless. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Here we are. Do you know how many times I have bit my tongue and lip with these damn Vamp teeth today? I also think Marie needs to see a Doctor because she is literally always itchy. And not even in the normal places. I will put it like this, this sucks and I want my body back.
Well hold tight Paul, I mean to be fair and all Soul Rape aside, you did kind of have this coming.
Wait, what did you just say? How in the hell can you say I deserve this kind of hell wrapped in Heroin Chic?
Well I think it is more Crackhouse Chic at this point but, you did kidnap our friend.
OH MY GOD, are you guys ever going to let that go?
Oh, I mean I have gotten over it. It took a minute and a few bottles of Zima, fifth of Jack, couple shots of Patron, a whole Jolly Rancher Stick, and a packet of Sugar Free Margarita mix. But Pierre is from Dubai and as it turns out, those little fellas hold a hell of a grudge.
(Vhodka/Paul put his/her head down and stared at the floor for what seemed to be a really long time. Vhodka/Paul then knelt down and looked Pierre square in the eyes. Vhodka/Paul took a deep breath and began to speak.)
Pierre, I am sorry. Not just for kidnapping GOAT but for taking your friend away from you. I know now how that must have hurt. I don’t know if it hurt as much as having to wear this thong that is currently scraping my pancreas right now but I am sure it was probably close. But I want you to know I am sorry.
Now will you please use whatever mumbo jumbo you need to and get me back in my body. It is hard telling what Monty may have talked Marie into doing.
Wait, Monty?
Yes Tom, Monty Python?
No man, I knew who you were talking about but what do you mean “Talked her into”?
Oh, well yeah, Monty talks, I mean doesn’t your Cool Rifle speak to you? I just figured everybody’s hang dang did the talkin thang.
(Before Tommy could respond and before Pierre could ask the same questions most of the viewing audience was probably wishing they could ask there was another knock on the door.)
Paul/Marie is here, now we can get this show on the road.
God damnit, get me out of this body right now, Monty Python is starting to rise up again and I don’t think his right arm has the strength to put it down again and that lack of blood flow is gonna make me pass out.
Thomas, I will go get the Baja Blast, this will only take a moment.