Post by jasonryan on May 27, 2021 23:40:01 GMT -5
Jason is shown riding in the back of a limo with various bottles of booze. His theme song is playing in the background. Jason leans back in his seat and lights a cigar. After a few puffs he looks at the camera. Instead of his usual sunglasses he wears a pair of cyber googles
Welcome to the JRE, your number one stop for your world class wrestling fix. I am your founder, your chairman, and your CEO, The Diamond of the Industry, The franchise of OPW, The Game Changer, The All-Mighty, The Dreamkiller, The Undisputed future of the business, The Megastar, JRE in HD! And it would seem I've got to take care of an idiot ass. Instead of being in the Prestige match like I deserve, I am in a stupid ass, random ass, pointless ass Showcase match with nothing on the line. Yes, I'll have motherfucking bullshit for five hundred.
Two digital images of middle fingers flash on the googles
So I have no choice but to take my anger out of you, you discount Goodwill Ronald McDonald. So I have no choice but to kick your ass to the north, the south, the east and the west. I am going to beat you like the red headed step child you are. The red headed step child with such a stupid fucking name. Honestly, how is this a match worthy of me? It's Jason Ryan vs a man with a name that sounds likes a kids song.
The message on the googles changes to read " Fuck You" as Jason begins to sing
There... was a jobber that dared step to the greatest wrestler to ever live and Eoin-O was his name-o! E-O-I-N-O! E-O-I-N-O! E-O-I-N-O! E-O-I-! And Jason whooped that ass-O! Well you best pay attention because the only main event talent you'll ever get to share the ring with has something to say you, ya punk ass bitch. When it comes to our match, you can consider my the British because I am going to be beating that ass all around my ring. You don't even belong in the same ring as the most entertaining man to ever enter an arena.
Jason's googles flash back to two middle fingers
And ya know, because I was cheated out of a win by the job squad known as Cannon Fodder and out of my Prestige title, I am going to break my hand smacking you around. To anyone that thinks this jackoff, jerkoff and slack-off, I've just got one question for you.
The googles then display the message " Suck my dick."
Are you stupid, are you dumb, have you had family time others would call inappropriate, do you have a habit of impregnating all your local barnyard animals, do you have one hundred one mental disorders, do you need to take your medication for your crippling stupidity? Because thinking Eoin deserves to even say my name is asinine, asi-ten, asi-eleven, asi-twelve-twenty. I'll tell you this, I am going down to that Prestige title match and I am kicking both those boys in the micro penis and T-bagging them just to assert dominance. They're in my division without my approval, fighting my belt. So once I take care of the ugly sibling of an Irish Settler, I'll be down there to slap 50 layers of black and blue into both of you.
Jason takes a deep drag of his cigar and pours himself a shot of scotch
Let's get something straight dickwads, I'm the megastar, I'm the one the fans pay to see, I'm the one that will carry OPW into the next era. It sure ain't Cannon Fodder, it isn't the discount Ronald McDonald, it isn't the two pretenders, it's me, the JRE. OPW needs a Hollywood icon like Jason Ryan, a rock star like Jason Ryan. I want it all. I want the fame, the magazine covers, the money, the legacy of being the man to become the number guy in not just OPW but the entire world. So I am going to use Eoin as what he is, just a rung on that ladder, I am gonna use him as the rug he is to wipe my feet on. And then I am going to go on to regain MY Prestige title because Prestige needs JRE.
Jason drains the shot as his googles switch back to two middle fingers
Well it would appear I am about to pull up to my newest Hollywood party so I shall leave you all with a song.
Jason throws his cigar out of the window and begins to clap
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!
This little light of mine, the JRE will forever shine!
And your bitch ass will never be able to follow thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Boom Biyotch! Eoin just know when it comes to the JRE, you picked the right day to get all the way fucked up. You are just the worst excuse of a man standing toe to toe against God...T! And you only spell GodT JRE! See ya soon you crusty dusty menstruating bitch!
The Limo stops with a double finger finger salute, Jason Ryan exits
Welcome to the JRE, your number one stop for your world class wrestling fix. I am your founder, your chairman, and your CEO, The Diamond of the Industry, The franchise of OPW, The Game Changer, The All-Mighty, The Dreamkiller, The Undisputed future of the business, The Megastar, JRE in HD! And it would seem I've got to take care of an idiot ass. Instead of being in the Prestige match like I deserve, I am in a stupid ass, random ass, pointless ass Showcase match with nothing on the line. Yes, I'll have motherfucking bullshit for five hundred.
Two digital images of middle fingers flash on the googles
So I have no choice but to take my anger out of you, you discount Goodwill Ronald McDonald. So I have no choice but to kick your ass to the north, the south, the east and the west. I am going to beat you like the red headed step child you are. The red headed step child with such a stupid fucking name. Honestly, how is this a match worthy of me? It's Jason Ryan vs a man with a name that sounds likes a kids song.
The message on the googles changes to read " Fuck You" as Jason begins to sing
There... was a jobber that dared step to the greatest wrestler to ever live and Eoin-O was his name-o! E-O-I-N-O! E-O-I-N-O! E-O-I-N-O! E-O-I-! And Jason whooped that ass-O! Well you best pay attention because the only main event talent you'll ever get to share the ring with has something to say you, ya punk ass bitch. When it comes to our match, you can consider my the British because I am going to be beating that ass all around my ring. You don't even belong in the same ring as the most entertaining man to ever enter an arena.
Jason's googles flash back to two middle fingers
And ya know, because I was cheated out of a win by the job squad known as Cannon Fodder and out of my Prestige title, I am going to break my hand smacking you around. To anyone that thinks this jackoff, jerkoff and slack-off, I've just got one question for you.
The googles then display the message " Suck my dick."
Are you stupid, are you dumb, have you had family time others would call inappropriate, do you have a habit of impregnating all your local barnyard animals, do you have one hundred one mental disorders, do you need to take your medication for your crippling stupidity? Because thinking Eoin deserves to even say my name is asinine, asi-ten, asi-eleven, asi-twelve-twenty. I'll tell you this, I am going down to that Prestige title match and I am kicking both those boys in the micro penis and T-bagging them just to assert dominance. They're in my division without my approval, fighting my belt. So once I take care of the ugly sibling of an Irish Settler, I'll be down there to slap 50 layers of black and blue into both of you.
Jason takes a deep drag of his cigar and pours himself a shot of scotch
Let's get something straight dickwads, I'm the megastar, I'm the one the fans pay to see, I'm the one that will carry OPW into the next era. It sure ain't Cannon Fodder, it isn't the discount Ronald McDonald, it isn't the two pretenders, it's me, the JRE. OPW needs a Hollywood icon like Jason Ryan, a rock star like Jason Ryan. I want it all. I want the fame, the magazine covers, the money, the legacy of being the man to become the number guy in not just OPW but the entire world. So I am going to use Eoin as what he is, just a rung on that ladder, I am gonna use him as the rug he is to wipe my feet on. And then I am going to go on to regain MY Prestige title because Prestige needs JRE.
Jason drains the shot as his googles switch back to two middle fingers
Well it would appear I am about to pull up to my newest Hollywood party so I shall leave you all with a song.
Jason throws his cigar out of the window and begins to clap
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!
This little light of mine, the JRE will forever shine!
And your bitch ass will never be able to follow thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Boom Biyotch! Eoin just know when it comes to the JRE, you picked the right day to get all the way fucked up. You are just the worst excuse of a man standing toe to toe against God...T! And you only spell GodT JRE! See ya soon you crusty dusty menstruating bitch!
The Limo stops with a double finger finger salute, Jason Ryan exits