Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2020 23:59:02 GMT -5
TYLER KNOWLES
...presents, in perfect succession...
...presents, in perfect succession...
“THIS IS STARTING TO GET OLD”
Well, well, well! It’s been a while since you last saw your surfin’, tokin’, cuckold porn watchin’ Messiah! Truth is, I’ve just been chillin’, dude ; being very instrumental behind the scenes within The Syndicate. I had been giving my stablemates advice, above all else ; wanting to assure that we would continue to be taken seriously and viewed as a viable threat. And well, now that there’s absolutely no denying that with your dude STILL holdin’ the Youngblood HEAVYWEIGHT Championship, I figure it’s time to give Johnny Stylez a new piece of advice: advice that could prove risky at first, but bring him lots of money in the long run.
“I’m going to pitch the idea to Johnny that gay porn should be included on Brazzers.”, I blurted to my boy toy of the week, Kenneth. Y’know. Since Brandon fuckin’ Moore killed my last one.
R.I.P., Geo. Your dick game was subpar, but that money was right!
Kenneth (boyfriend #846) ; “Are you insane, Ty?! For what?! There are so many pay-to-subscribe sites out there these days for that! Hell, most people don’t even buy porn anymore! They just watch pornhub ; or risk giving their computers viruses on those sites that load about sixty popups every time you try to watch a video!”
“Are you fuckin’ done, dude?!”, I asked, laughing. “Because it sure does seem like you know a lot about this topic right now. Am I currently messing with a porn addict?!”
Kenneth (boyfriend #846) ; “Am I?! You’re the one wanting to pitch the idea to your boss that gay porn should be produced for a site whose demographic is 95% old retired men.”
Tyler Knowles ; “Maybe those old men have been curious for all their life and will make the switch to a whole new experience! Who fuckin’ knows. Either way, the potential is there for us to make even more money, and an even bigger impact on the world!”
Kenneth (boyfriend #846) ; “Hmmmm. Well, unlike your past fuck buddies, I at least follow professional sports - wrestling included. I know what kind of guy “LA” Johnny Stylez is, and I’m pretty damned confident that he wouldn’t ever go for that!”
Tyler Knowles ; “I don’t know, dude. I may be able to lay a guilt trip on ‘em. He DOES owe me, after all.”
Kenneth (boyfriend #846) ; “How do you figure?!”
Tyler Knowles ; “Well, in twelve weeks’ worth of shows, I’ve managed to be booked against fuckin’ Tommy Kain in ⅓ of my matches. Johnny owes me the chance to pitch such an amazing idea to him!”
Kenneth (boyfriend #846) ; “Tommy who?!”
EXACTLY. THE FAKE. THE PHONY. THE FRAUDULENT “TK”.
Tyler Knowles ; “I’M the real TK! So like Eminem says, I’m gonna just continue to stand the fuck up.. And destroy Kain every time he’s put in my path. Because that’s what fighting champions like myself do! But I don’t necessarily have to be happy about the booking! Maybe I should be more frustrated with myself more than anything - at the fact that I haven’t ended this goat fucker’s career yet!”
IF I WANT TO STOP WASTING MY TIME ON HIM, IT’S IMPORTANT TO JUST PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY!
Because I’m SURE he’s growing just as tired of this shit as I am.
Tyler Knowles ; “Who REALLY wants to constantly get spanked?! Who would want to be subjected to ass kicking after ass kicking only to have to pump out the excuse of “I KNOW I can beat him, and I’m going to prove it this time!”? Because it’s gotten rather pathetic. Tommy only defeated me once - and that was due to some bullshit technical call! I unclipped the Youngblood Championship while standing atop the ladder, yet he was able to snag the belt from my grasp like a vulture waiting to feast on its’ prey. He saw that I was weakened, bruised and battered. Because hell, let’s face it, dude….”
I DID ALL THE WORK THAT NIGHT.
Tyler Knowles ; “The ONE positive thing about Kain, though, is he admits to that. He admits to basically being a shitty person ; someone who gloats and brags about things that he knows damn well he would’ve never accomplished if it wasn’t for cheating. I have to hand it to him, as much as I don’t want to, dude. For someone who has made best friends with a goat, and for someone who is CONSTANTLY drunk - I mean, everytime I smack this guy upside the fucking face and his jaw drops on impact, his breath smells like a fuckin’ brewery - he IS pretty smart ; pretty devicive. And this match may be right up his alley for that reason, just for the simple fact that this upcoming Championship defense at Injustice for All is a triple threat match, featuring a rookie to OPW - Parody.”
HE’S JUST THERE TO EAT THE PIN.
Kenneth (boyfriend #846) ; “How are you so sure about that? Do you know a lot about this guy?”
Tyler Knowles ; “Neither Tommy nor myself know about this idiot. Besides the fact that he wears enough face paint and guyliner to make an entire dressing room full of drag queens envious. And oh! Yeah. He also defeated an equally horrible King Quari in his debut match last week so there’s also that..”
Kenneth (boyfriend #846) ; “What’s up with the horrible names?!”
Tyler Knowles ; “Dude, in his defense, everyone in the wrestling industry have gimmicky, dumb names. Mine just happens to have a splash of realism and a splash of royalty, thanks to Ms. Sasha Fierce herself! King Quari on the other hand? Like that soon-to-be divorced dumbass Parody mentioned last week, that was just a guy’s attempt to set himself apart from everyone else by making them feel less than right off the bat. But even I knew he was just the Great Value version of Johnny Stylez. Talking about fucking hoes and smoking weed.”
WAIT, WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS IRRELEVANT FUCKER?!
I guess as a segue to further drag Parody.
Tyler Knowles ; “Fact of the matter is, Parody got lucky. He wants to brag about his dumb little winning streak after just one win?! I understood the comedy in that. I sensed the sarcasm. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that it was just an asinine claim - even more so than Tommy Kain STILL hyping himself up ; trying to convince all the fans and his little goat friend that he could EVER beat me fairly. In the famous words of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin…"
NUH UH!
Kenneth (boyfriend #846) ; “You’re aware that that’s not actually a word right? But you’re incredibly hot so I guess that’s the trade off for not being the smartest guy in the world.”
HAH. If Kenneth wants to think that, great. If the fans want to think that, great. All would be revealed one of these days just how great of a mastermind I truly am - when my Legion of minions are formally introduced the world and everyone realizes that ALL THIS TIME.. I had been trolling them ; fucking with their minds and making them view me as weak. Trust me. Even in my losses. Even during my most depressing or embarrassing moments in OPW, I was still one step ahead of ALL my competitors. Poor Kenneth, who will eventually be manipulated into being just another minion of mine, would have to just wait to realize the totality of this threat that is #SurferBoyRoyalty.
Tommy Kain’s got his newfound confidence that he can FINALLY put me away. Parody’s got his own little shenanigans ; tactics as he calls them. He claims he can mimic myself and Kain and be the better version of us. Well, like Kain pointed out, being a better version of him wouldn’t be saying much as the LACKLUSTER TK is crappy already. And me? YOU can’t duplicate perfection, baby. You just leave that to me. Since.. I’ve been making a career out of it for the past 3 months now.
Tyler Knowles ; “Damn. Well.. you called me hot so I suppose I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Kenneth (boyfriend #846) ; “So when do you plan on pitching this idea to Johnny? Hell.. I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation!”
Tyler Knowles ; “I haven’t decided yet. Maybe DURING the pay-per-view. I mean.. These pay-per-view shows are amongst our biggest events, right? Why not aid in making a night people will never forget - by defending my belt against TWO low card, pushover punk bitches AND gayin’ it up as only I can.. With my AMAZING ideas?!”
OPW, y’all ain’t ready for what I’ve got in store for Injustice for All! All I can say is…
Tyler Knowles & Kenneth (boyfriend #846) in unison ; “SURF’S UP, BITCHESSSSS!”
Tyler Knowles ; "Damn.. you're pretty good!"
Kenneth (boyfriend #846) ; "I know!"
FADE 2 BLACK.