Post by lajohnnystylez on Apr 25, 2020 7:48:14 GMT -5
…”Hi you’ve reached the voicemail of Ariel Shadows she’s uh kinda fuckin busy right now….STOP IT, I’m not that kinda girl, so uh leave a message after the beep….BEEEP.”
LA Johnny Stylez: Cut the bullshit Ariel I know you are there, I can hear all the shit going on in the background!
Ariel Shadows: Aw damnit! What gave it away?
LA Johnny Stylez: You mean aside from you actually saying the word beep? Uh
Ariel Shadows: Ok OK….FINE! Look…
LA Johnny Stylez: Wait, I can barley fuckin hear you where in the phuck are you?
Ariel Shadows: I’m at your fucking party bro...Man the guys weren’t joking you do know how to throw a got damn party I’ll tell you that. Coke in the punch bowl nice nice...I’ll have to stop by there and motorboat it before I leave! Don’t tell HBO K?
LA Johnny Stylez: What? What the phuck are you doin here?
Ariel Shadows: No...WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING NOT IN HERE?
Johnny looks down at the files and pitures Eoin O’Rourke gave him. The one on top just so happens to be the one of his wife kissing Sam Laramie Jr. He takes a stack of other papers on hi desk and covers them up. He then walks over to the door and opens it. He starts looking around the room, for a ratty little bitch who is on her cell phone. It takes a few brief moments for Ariel to look up at Johnny. She passes the cross blunt back this rather large African American male, as she shes Johnny and waves like they are long lost friends. She is still on her phone as Johnny impolitely waves back and speaks into his phone.
LA Johnny Stylez: GET YOUR PHUCKIN ASS OVER HERE NOW!
Ariel Shadows: OK MR. BOSSY BRITCHES IM COMIN! Later Francis it was so nice to meet you!
Ariel daps and hugs the big black dude as she starts gooflily dancing all the way over to Johnny as he holds the door open for her as she saunters inside. He shuts the door behind them and thn makes his way over to his desk. He removes a thick glass sheet from his desk with some white powdery substance on it. He chops out two lines and rails it, and then places the glass on the end of the desk and throws the straw down. Ariel grabs it and SNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFF. She shakes her head and holds her nose.
Ariel Shadows: OWWWWW THAT COKE BURNS….WHY DOES IT BURN?
LA Johnny Stylez: Because it’s not coke, ya coke whore!
Ariel Shadows: Man I’m trying all kinds of different things tonight. I was just outside smoking this thing called a Jimmy? A Jango?
LA Johnny Stylez: You mean a JEFFREY?
Ariel Shadows: THAT’S THE ONE!
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh dear GOD..You better hurry up and tell me what youu came here to tell me so we have enough time to find you a furry wall...They have to have one around here somewhere!
Ariel Shadows: Ohhh a furry wall sounds AWESOME RIGHT NOW!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: ARIEL!!! FOCUS...WHAT THE PHUCKIN PHUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Ariel Shadows: Ohh to come tell you personally that HBO executives would like all partie in the six man tag team match to see a shrink before you step in the ring to make sure you guys are like mentally stable and shit...You know? Because we been watchin Johnny and you cats be doin some fucked up ass shit to one another...The hell is wrong with yall?
LA Johnny Stylez: How much time ya got!
Ariel is holding her hand up in front of her as if she was studying it. She then looks up at Johnny and he eyes are so glassy they look like they could shatter at any moment.
Ariel Shadows: Uhhhh….not much I’d wager! This is weird...Do you see these Wolverine claws I just got?...It’s like where did they fricken come from right?...RIGHT???
LA Johnny Stylez: OK...Ms. Shadows come with me….Im gunna find whatever phuck nugget gave you a Jeffrey and then I’ll probably have their throats slit in the center of the room!
Ariel Shadows: OHH can I do it with my claws???
LA Johnny Stylez: No dear they aren’t really there!
Ariel Shadows: Oh yes they are...SHINK…..DId you hear that?
LA Johnny Stylez: What your sad attempt at mimicking the sound Wolverwine’s claws make when they pop out of his hand, yes I heard it….I think we should try and find someone who didn’t hear it!
Ariel Shadows: Well that will be easy because if I just got Wolverwine’s powers I’ll be able to smell them! Let’s go!
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh dear God It’s going to be a long night!...
Johnny then reaches over on his desk and grabs his phone. He scrolls down to the name Brooklyn Chase who took over as his assistant after Madison Ivy was promoted to backstage interviewer...He dials her number and waits a few moments….
Brooklyn Chase: Decided to take me up on my over to give you a …
LA Johnny Stylez: No Brooklyn that won’t be necessary Doll...Listen did you bring that stupid white fluffy purse with you tonight?
Brooklyn Chase: You mean my puppy?
LA Johnny Stylez: Sure?...
Brooklyn Chase: Of course I brought my little SchnuckumsBEAR!
LA Johnny Stylez: Could you bring him to my office please?
Brookly CHase: Why you aren’t going to hurt him are you?
LA Johnny Stylez: No some asshat out thee gave the new Liason from HBO a got damn Jeffrey and there are no got damn furry walls in this building, I need something and I need it PHUCKING FIVE MINUTES AGO NOW ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME OR DO YOU WANNA GO BACK TO HAVING YOUR FACE USED FOR CUM SHOOTING PRACTICE? GET YOUR PHUCKIN ASS IN HERE NOW!
Brooklyn CHase: Ok, I love it when you talk dirty to me like that...Ill be right there you sure you don’t want me to bl…
LA Johnny Stylez: YES IM SURE COME ON YA SILLY BITCH!
It doesn’t take long before Brooklyn Chase comes running her big tittied self into Johnny’s office with her puppy. By this point Ariel Shadows was glaring off into space with God knows what running through that THC soaked mind of hers. I couldn’t help but laugh at her as I watched her face light up when Brooklyn sat that white fluffy rat she calls her puppy in her lap.and suddenly you see a sudden calm come over Ariel’s face. Brooklyn stood back and smiled at her as Ariel looked up at her as she pet the furry creature and with a warm sincere tone looked up at Brooklyn and said…
Ariel Shadows: Ohhh by Ali Babba and The 40 Thieves I could kiss you!
LA Johnny Stylez: Don’t threaten her with a good time Ariel!
Ariel Shadows: I don’t make threats...I make…
LA Johnny Stylez: Trouble?
Ariel Shadows: Johnny you shouldn’t talk that way in front of this precious little kitty!
Brooklyn Chase: He’s a puppy!
Ariel Shadows: Are you sure?
LA Johnny Stylez: I think it looks like a rodent dressed in a cotton ball fur coat!
Brooklyn/Ariel: YOU ARE SOOOOO MEAN!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah, so in other BReaKiNG NeWZ ARIEL was going to tell Johnny why in the phuck she crashed his party?
Ariel Shadows: You mean other than free booze, food, boys girls and all the other goodies you got scampering about?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well if that’s all you came here for FINE, I’d like it if you and I could be friends Ariel...But if you are here to hit me with some more bullshit I’d rather you just come on out with it!
Ariel Shadows: Well remember when I said you all had to go to therapy?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yes that was like 5 hours ago!
Ariel Shadows: For real? It feels like months ago...Anyway! You don’t think you got to pick your own SHRINK did you? HA, come on Johnny this is HBO we are talking about here...They are almost as bad as DISNEY...and WalMart….Ohhh fuck fucking Walmart!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yet you work for them?
Ariel Shadows: Wait, I just said all of that out loud?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yup every single word!
Ariel Shadows:FUCK! I hate it when I do that shit! But I came here to give you all the information and shit so you could give it to those it concerns and so on and so fourth!
LA Johnny Stylez: And you couldn’t just text or email me this information?
Ariel Shadows: Well yeah but then I heard you were havin this killer party and well..Here I am petting your really big hamster!
Brooklyn CHase: IT’S A PUPPY!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: And it sure as phuck aint mine!
Ariel Shadows: Uh-huh that’s what I said!
Just then this cluster phuck of a situation got even more cluster-phucky when my stablemates Tyler Knowles and Gabriel Tuck came to the door, each with their own dilemma, but hey at least they knocked first!
Tyler Knowles: Johnny?...You got a sec bro? Your wife keeps calling she says your phone keeps going straight to voicemail, and well there’s these two dudes im trying to….Well ya know ohh and I got this great idea I wanna run by ya!
Gabriel Tuck: We’re *burp almost outta beer MAN!
LA Johnny Stylez: SO GO GET MORE ASSHAT! I bought the first seven kegs after that its BYOB! And Tyler tell ur idea to Ariel she loves ideas!
Ariel Shadows: LIAR!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: OK so she might not but I’m sure the HBO appointed shrink we have to see does..
Tyler Knowles: The what now?
Johnny walks over and presses the piece of paper Ariel meant to bring him to his chest and makes a B LINE for the CoCaINe PUNCH POWL, as Tyler takes the paper and looks it over reading it to himself as he looks up at Johnny who is motorboating the cocaine punch bowl.
Hangover isn’t even the word! Johnny wishes he had a hangover right now….The worst one he has ever had, because that would make whatever the phuck he is going through presently seem like a walk in the park or a game of UNO...HELLZ YEAH UNO…
...Anyway, so to recap real quick the last we saw of CO-OWNER of OUTLAW PRO WRESTLING and once again one half of the OPW Immortal Tag Team Champions LA Johnny Stylez was motorboating a punch bowl filled with coke. Well for those of you that don’t know there aren’t very many drugs that Johnny doesn’t really care for and COKE is at the tippy top of that list as a matter of fact it’s 1 & 2 respectively. So mix that in and after that he started drinking, and guess what...Johnny dont drink either. So suffice to say last night got really phucking out of hand, and now he was in a waiting room waiting to see this company mandated Psychiatrist to make sure he was mentally stable enough to compete in the ring.
Johnny sat in the waiting room with his sunglasses on and his manilla folder containing everything Eoin O’Rourke had gotten for him. He decided to try to look into it a bit more to take his mind off of the spinning room and the fact that he had to...Well wait hold on just a moment…
Johnny grabs the trash can that he had next to him and suddenly puts it to his face and pukes his guts up again for the 4th time since he has been here. After he is finished he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a pack of Newports, pops one in his mouth and fires it up. His eyes kept going back to this big family portrait of Dr. Kurt Simon and his white pickett fence blonde but fairly unattractive wife two boys and one girl all around the early teens. They looked like the bunch of stuck up stuffed shirt zits on the ass of humanity that drive mini vans and struggle with their stupid ass white people problems The Shrink’s secretary looked at him crossly as she says..
Secretary: Sir there is no smoking in here!
Johnny lowers his sunglasses as he looks at her with his bloodshot blue eyes and mouths the words “I DONT PHUCKING CARE.” ANd then curtly smiles before putting the glasses back up on his eyes. She picks up the phone when suddenly a tall skinny man with blue eyes and light brown hair that was fading to grey that was really starting to thin around both sides of his forehead. He wore a green sweater vest with a grey button down shirt and a pair of dark khakis. His sleeves were rolled up and he walks in and tells his secretary its ok. He eye balls the trash can full of vomit as Johnny looks up at him and smiles. The Doc lowers the thin set of reading glasses on his face smiles warmly and says.
Dr. Kurt Simon: You must be Johnny Stylez, nice to meet you. I’d shake your hand but social distancing ya know. If it makes you feel any better I begged the HBO guys to put this off until everyone went back to work but they said it couldn’t wait so…
LA Johnny Stylez: Drugs?
Dr. Kurt Simon: I beg your pardon?
LA Johnny Stylez: You said if it made me feel any better and it didn’t...The only thing that is going to make me feel better is drugs, and since my guy said he can’t meet me until after I am finished with this stupid crock of shit waste of time I think feeling better is out of the questions...Unless of course you have some drugs back there that your holding out on me...But I swear whatever you give me I can replace it!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Uhhhh….why don’t you just come with me back to my office and we will see about getting us both out of here as quickly as possible!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah whatever Dr. Dipshit...Lead the way!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Ohh boy this is going to be fun!
LA Johnny Stylez: Not nearly as much fun as you signing whatever it is you need to sign and just telling them that you spoke to me and everything was peachy!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Mr. Stylez I think you and I both know I can’t do that!
LA Johnny Stylez: NoPe! Actually DoC the only thing both you and I will know by the time this is over is how much you are probably going to really regret that decision. But if you insist...Wait pardon me for just a moment.
Johnny then leans over grabs the black waste basket and hurls his guts up once more. The poor doctor looks at his secretary and she shrugs her shoulders while nonchalantly chewing her bubble gum. Johnny finishes and removes his phone from his pocket and sees that it is his wife Blair calling...Again. He hits the shady button and sends her right to voicemail. Johnny then stand there holding the wastebasket not sure what he was to do with it. He doctor then takes it from him and walks over to the front door and opens it. He holds the door open and looks at Johnny and says…
Dr. Kurt Simon: It’s such a pretty day out anyway what do you say we don’t waste it? We are just talking after all…
LA Johnny Stylez: And you don’t feel like making that poor lady who works for you clean up my puke after I leave?...Dude my secretary is way hotter than yours!
Dr. Kurt Simon: That’s my daughter!
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohhh really?..SHe’s uh...She’s uhhhh…
Dr. Kurt Simon: Right this way Mr. Stylez!
LA Johnny Stylez: Right!...Sorry!
So Johnny turns around and lowers his sunglasses looking at the secretary and found it humorous enough to crack a smile over the fact that since he now knew the girl was his daughter she seemed a bit hotter than she did before. So Johnny winks and flashes that arrogant smirk of his as she smiles a little flirty smile and waves back as the camera pans around to see an OPW logo and a picture of OPW IMMORTAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, ANICKA SWANN posing with her title belt.
Scene then cuts outside to Johnny and The Good Doctor walking and talking. They come to an area right by some trees. The is a tire swing, attached to the tree, as well as a few picnic tables a gazebo, and all other sorts of sitting and recreational pieces scattered about. Johnny just plops down on a bench and looks up at the doctor who as the doctor has yet to take a seat. He remove his glasses and wipes them off with the tail of his shirt and then checks them before putting them back on and looks at Johnny and asks…
Dr. Kurt Simon: You got a smoke?
Johnny then reaches into his back pocket and removes the platinum 4:19 cigarette case and holds it open for the doc to take one out. But the Doctor looks inside the case and apparently doesn’t see what he was actually looking for.
LA Johnny Stylez: What? Thought you said you wanted a cigarette?
Dr. Kurt Simon: No I asked if you had a smoke I said nothing about ciagrettes.
LA Johnny Stylez: Is this some kinda test? Because if it is and i oblige you and I get a call informing me we got kicked off of HBO, I’m gunna call your wife and tell her you got kicked off the road on the way home!
Dr. Kurt Simon: No, no trick...I find the best way to get people to talk to you is to get them to open up is to relate to them. FInd out what they have in common so that they feel like sharing with you. I used to smoke doobies back in my day….It’s Friday after noon what the hell am I right?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yes I suppose you are, but before we go any further why don’t you tell me how this works because I know how doc and patient confidentiality is supposed to go. But if HBO is trying to dig up dirt on me to use down the road then as usual I aint telling you shit DOC.
Dr. Kurt Simon: Ohh no I cannot discuss what we actually...discuss with them. I can only report back my diagnosis on whether you are mentally competent to handle both being in the ring and performing your job as the Co-Owner of the company. It is highly irregular for the owners of a company such as yours also seek to actively compete still inside the ring. What is it you have left to prove Johnny?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well that’s a complicated question Doc with an even more complicated answer. Because you see me personally I don’t have shit to prove to none of these mother phuckers. I’ve proven that I am the absolute best at what I do damn near everywhere I have gone. But at the same time three years ago I turned on the TV to catch some pro wrestling because I wanted to see what has been going on since I departed eight years prior. And there are no words to describe my level of disgust as I could hardly sit there and watch the drivel they were passing off as the sport I once upon a time knew as the greatest form of competition on this planet! So in a sense to me that meant one of two things to me. Either me and my generation didn’t teach the lesson well enough or we didn’t teach it all to these douchebags that inherited it in our stead. Now don’t get me wrong there were still enough of us around that most of the principles and traditions that we kept going and created ourselves should have remained alive, but either they got lazy or they didn’t know. Either PHUCKING WAY it was clear this business was in sore need of it’s E.P.I.T.O.M.E. once again...hahahahaha
Dr. Kurt Simon: What’s funny John?
LA Johnny Stylez: You have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve referred to myself as that name?
Dr. Kurt Simon: The Epitome?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah…
Dr. Kurt Simon: OHHH I don’t think I could throw an exact date on it but I know Immortalz of Wrestling was a long ass time ago wasn’t it?
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh Doc you know your shit...But apparently not all that well because there were small stops in NCW F2B and S2N, EWF on the way out...But to answer the question it has been fourteen years seven months, three weeks, six days, and sixteen hours since I last officially called referred to myself as The Epitome of Pro Wrestling. I dropped it in the promotion I was in before I joined New Edge Wrestling.
Dr. Kurt Simon: And what made you think of that?
LA Johnny Stylez: I dunno man, I guess when ShowCa$e went off the air I was sitting in my office alone thinking of everything that I have to think about these days being the owner and what not, and I was sitting there staring at the new OPW Tag Team Title belt that Le’Andra Fury and I had won earlier in the night and somethin had happened that I had been waiting decades to do...Actual decades man...And finally after all this time I phucking pulled it off and I dunno I guess it got me feelin a little nostalgic. Cause I mean it’s easy to let all of that time lapse and then you look up and can hardly recall how in the phuck we got here to begin with? And believe you me buddy that very thought has been runnin through my mind a lot lately. Because man the shit I have done to get here would keep you up at night!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Yeah I know who you are...I’ve watched wrestling since I was a kid man. My dad used to take me to the matches when I was younger! I saw some of your early battles against Kristian Oss when I was a junior in High School. I watched Bobby Ciccione go to war with Damon “Havok” Riggs. I was actually in the arena the night Josh Manhunt beat your old tag team partner Josh Manhunt in that Buried Alive Match back in iXw and after he finished piling dirt on top of it...I’ll be got damned if that mother fucker didn’t whip out his johnson right there and
LA Johnny Stylez: Pissed on him yeah! Josh never really talked about that shit, but I knew it ate him alive. When he and I won the WFnW Tag Team Titles there was a group of em “THe UNBREAKABLEZ” they called themselves and it was Manhunt’s mission and then it became our Mission to do anything and everything we could to tarnish that name. But man I never thought I’d live to hear myself say...Those were the days, but when I sit and think about it...I can’t help it. It’s the got damn truth! Back in the gap the way we carried ourselves left a lot to be desired but there was more talent in the business than there is today. These butt jokers who call themselves World Champions these days would have been humiliated so badly by even the worst of us back then. And for the life of me I still don’t know what the hell went wrong or what happened between my last match in New Edge to what the business is right now. A bunch of self righteous, half ass, douchebag phuck boys who pick fights and then get mad when they get busted in the phuckin mouth! It drives me literally BAT SHIT CRAZY! Me I fought for any and every scrap of anything I’ve ever had in this business! Everything!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Yeah but not everyone feels that way especially since your cousin Jesse Styles ran New Edge Wrestling!
LA Johnny Stylez: FIrst of all Doc see that just shows everything you don’t know, because the facts are that Jesse Styles owned New Edge Wrestling and made the most because of it...But make no mistake about it...Ryan Pugh, LA Johnny Stylez, XXX, and Roger Wright RAN NEW EDGE WRESTLING...Just never at the same time! And I think that’s what pisses me off the most about being back, because if nothing I will say this for the current crop...Working conditions have never been this good. Back in our day you’d be lucky if you were ever in any one promotion for longer than a year. Now these days some of these companies have been around for decades. And if some of the guys that were around back then were here now they would be the legends their talent and star power should have made them to begin with but didnt because a handful of us couldn’t see beyond our own selfish bullshit!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Well Johnny...You gunna spark this doobie or what chief?
LA Johnny Stylez: The wha...ohh the J...Nah here man you can spark it up…
Dr. Kurt Simon: Yeah but getting back to what you were talking about is that regret I hear in your voice?
LA Johnny Stylez: Phuck NO! If I could go back and do it all over again I think I’d do everything the exact same and twice on Sunday! Because I didnt need to go back and make better friends, because one thing I learned here lately there aint no friends in this business. There is family and there is enemies! And if you stick around long enough you can’t really tell the difference between the two on the account that you hate them as much as you love them...And if I’m not mistaken isn’t that the got damn definition of family?
Johnny tosses him his zippo lighter and he sparks it up. The two then begin passing the joint back and fourth and shooting the shit. Due to doctor patient confidentiality we aren’t really able to really show their conversation but we can show you tid bits...So we put together this sweet and sexy montage together for you...So enjoy…
Suddenly DEAR AGONY by Breaking Benjamin begins to softly play in the back ground as we see the Doc pass Johnny the joint. Johnny takes it and then takes a hit as he looks at the Dotor and says….
LA Johnny Stylez: And then I hit that bitch with The Career Ender which was a Diamon Cutter everyone used the Diamond Cutter back in the gap you remember that shit?...No but I hit this bitch with that move covered her 1,2,3 and that was the first time I won The WcF World Heavyweight Championship...And wouldn’t ya know it not two weeks later here come these Adams Family lookin mother phuckers named Kristian Oss an VooDoo, and it’s been on ever since
As the chorus breaks for the first time we see Johnny pass the joint back to the doc who takes it takes a hit and asks Johnny…
Dr. Kurt Simon: So wait let me get this straight Paul Montouri used to refer to himself as Jesus Christ? So you went out and hired his 12 Apostles? Where did you even find Jalel White and Vanilla Ice back then?
LA Johnny Stylez: Man I don’t know I kinda just did...and Paul was so got damn mad he couldn’t even see straight and then we got to the show Sunday Night and I dropped his punk ass and he never stepped to me like that EVER AGAIN!!!
The 2nd verse of Dear Agony starts as The Doc passes the joint back to The PaRaGoNa as he continues with his stories…
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah so Me Morbid and Daye built this group Chaos Theory that helped NCW get off the ground and then this curly headed phuck who looked just like Fred Savage comes up to me and is like Johnny I need you to go out there and let me get the win...My company will look like shit if I go down, I can’t loose to you not after everything you did. He might as well have been crying….I said OK, but I want every dollar of my contract here tonight! So against my better judgement I went out and did the job for that curley haired shit stain Bryant who has been bankrupt so many times it’s laughable. But I got my money and got the phuck outta dodge stood back and watched them crumble up just like everyone else!
Johnny passes the joint back mid way through the 2nd verse...Hopefully you asshats at home are picking up on the friggin pattern here….
Dr. Kurt Simon: So he just called you up and told you to come in and bam just like that?
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh yeah when I got there it was like ASSHAT CITY, so I took a tazer to the CHamps balls and he looked in my eyes saw not one ounce of give and knew if he would have doubted me he was finna get 1000 volts right to the nutsack so he screamed out I QUIT...Only he ended up meaning more than the match because after I humiliated him and took the NEW Championship into my possession no one ever heard from his sorry ass ever again!
The chorus hists once more as the J gets passed again…
LA Johnny Stylez: Now listen people either give me too much credit or not enough, because let me straighten one thing out right here and right now...I didn’t addict the mother phucker to heronie! You can’t force addiction on anyone. I just made it readily available, and if he was willing to walk into his best friend’s hotel room and steal his prized possession and come bring it back to me then that shit is on him! You should have seen the look on his face when he knocked on my door to bring the belt to me...HAHAHAHA and I shorted him on the amount I said I was going to give him for it...But the way I look at it was it was mine I won it four days later anyway so what really went wrong there right?
As the chorus leads into the third verse we see the Doc’s mouth droop further and further as he listens to the stories of the things Johnny has done to people over the course of his career for the sake of victory and for wins that came with Gold and promises of Immortality. But with each sory the doctor becomes more and more horrified…
LA Johnny Stylez: So yeah then I went on the Maurey Povich show and got him to tell the entire world he wasn’t mine! No I have no phucking clue what happened to that phucking kid. He wasn’t really mine so why do I give a phuck?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah and then Hunter slapped the handcuffs on Envy and forced him to sit there watch like the helplesss piece of shit he always has been while we shaved her phucking head balder than the twat between her legs!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yup and when she woke up she had no got damn clue who she was, so I told her her name was Juliette, and she was eating out of the palm of my hand after that. So much so that even when her memory came back she couldn’t figure out if she was in love with me or hated my guts!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah then we stole their ring gear and replaced it with these cheesy ass wrestling gear from these douche bag indy guys they used to wear during the 80’s but these phucking idiots thoiught it was the best thing in the universe...But Envy and I still put em down that night and walked out with the PCW World Tag Team Titles!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah well did you ever meet Sarah Pugh? CUNT isn’t even the word to describe that woman...So I may have put a little battery acid in the bag and when she snorted it maybe couldn’t find my phone to call 911...Yeah Pugh went recluse after that and no one saw him till he vowed to get vengeance on me when he came back to NEW during it’s death rattle run, but as always he didn’t get it because I’m just better than he is...Always was always will be!
The song finally starts to fade away as Johnny is wrapping up his final story as Dr. Kurt just seems baffled by listening to all the utterly horrible, inhumane, and down right sinful things he has done to people throughout the course of his entire career. ANd he has taken years off..It looked like Dr. Kurt was convinced he was in the presence of pure evil
LA Johnny Stylez: ...ANd just when we were a week away from opening up for business, you’ll never guess who the phuck shows up saying he doesn’t care about the past just wants a chance to get back in the ring…
Dr. Kurt Simon: Xavier Wolf?
LA Johnny Stylez: CORRECTAMUNDO!!!!
Dr. Kurt Simon: And you were surprised to see him because you thought he was dead right?
LA Johnny Stylez: Correct again Doc wow you really are paying attention. But I mean like yeah I thought that asshole was dead, because I mean we set the entire apartment complex on fire!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Ohh dear Lord, that was you? You know almost thirty people died in that fire?
LA Johnny Stylez: Damn and not one of them was X how about those odds? But I did get the girl he was banging at the time...But I did him a favor because he then left and went and met Le’Andra Fury who is the love of his life apparently...And it made it very easy to coax him over to our side. He told me maybe when I originally told him my plan for pro wrestling domination. Once he learned Le’Andra Fury the son of long time wolf Rival Brian Fury was coming to join our ranks he got real interested real quick, so I did some digging and found out why. I immediately then went to work on Le’Andra because I knew if she was in the group then I’d have something over X. I mean the guy and I are sort of like brothers...or cousins who always kick it when they go to family functions...But there is a lot of hate there to, that I’m sure one day he and I will have to square away...But that day aint today or tomorrow so I aint worried about it. Right now he is content alongside myself and the rest of the Syndicate as we carve out our own wing in the annals of pro wrestling history. Because when it’s all said and done and the historians look back at the history of this sport they will see that it was us who set the precedent it was us who set the bar! I promised each member of the ynicate the world of pro wrestling on a silver platter and so far I have delivered and I will continue to do so...And no pack of BITCH WOLVES...No one with the WRIGHT attitude and n no irritating jobbers from other companies are going to rise up and stop me...They should all know better at this point...And you’d think the fact that they don’t bothers me...But it really doesn’t because at the end of the day being back in that ring reminding them why I am the single most destructive force this business has or will ever know is one of the things that truly makes me happy! So as you can see Doc I am actually quite mentally sound!
Dr. Kurt Simon: You’re just a selfish prick asshole evil asshole!
LA Johnny Stylez: You said asshole twice!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Did I?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah….Now look I dunno where you get off judging me...Because I saw your little faggoty ass picture hanging in the lobby of you and your family and your “daughrer” wasnt in the picture...SO tell me Mr. Of Nazerath what’s the phucking phuck is up with that shit?
Dr. Kurt Simon: SHe’s a grad student at the university I teach at, I just said she was my daughter so you wouldn’t try and fuck her.
LA Johnny Stylez: And why would you care if I phucked her there Doc?
Dr. Kurt Simon: Well at this point isn’t it obvious?
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh most definitley but I still wanna hear you say it especially since you just sat there th entire time and judged me for every little thing that came out of my mouth. Just because I went above and beyond to destroy my enemies doesn’t make you better than me you phucking piece of shit...Because you sir are a coward...At least the people that I went for knew I was phuckin comin. I aint never backed down from no one and I’ve stood by any and everything I have ever done in this business. You….You’re wife is probably at home right now half way through a bottle of Chardonnay she opened yesterday cooking supper for those scurvy brats that were in that giant photo in the lobby while you pretend to have to work late while you stick your pathetic baby dick inside of your grad student that wants to be a porn star!
Dr. Kurt Simon: How...How do you know she wants to be a porn star...Because when I signed in I asked her if she ever thought about doing it, she was shy at first but then I put my business card down on the counter and I said text me if you are interested! My phone went off before I even sat down! So no I won’t phuck her personally but I know about five to six nine inch dicks that will right in her virgin butt crack…
The doc didn’t like what he was hearing as we see rage build up in his eyes with every word that fell from Johny’s lips, eventually to where he has enough and he swings at Johnny. Johnny just out of instinct, side stepped the undisciplined punch grabbed him b y his arm and slammed his head against the table smacking and breaking his glasses and holding his arm behind his head where all he had to do was nudge it a little in any direction and he would snap it like a twig. Johnny then comes back o and realizes whats happened and a look of worry comes over his face briefly before he returns to his senses and realizes he is the one holding this dude in a position for him to beg for mercy not the other way around. Johnny’s arrogant smirk creeps across his face as he slightly leans on the Doctor’s arm and speaks to him…
LA Johnny Stylez: OK Doc, so I know you’ve been listening to me pretty much the whole time, but I am going to need you to make sure you are really listening right now. Because if you do anything other than tell those HBO PHUCKS that me and my team are good to go, I’m gunna come back here break both of your arms and force you to sit there and watch as I bring Bruce Venture over here for her casting couch session on the couch in your office! And for the record you did this not me chief! I know people really on’t like the truth these days and wanna over look the dirty horrible shit they do but sit there and look down on me because I don’t hide what I am, and because I’m better at being a dick than most people are at anything! But on my way out Ill leave some directions to home depot with the girl who used to be your girl! But don’t worry I’m sure there are plenty of other grad students in the sea! OK cheif I’m gunna let you go now and when I do we are both gunna walk away from here nice and easy...And as long as you..
Dr. Kurt Simon: ARE YOU KIDDING ME...YOU’RE FUCKIN DONE YOU HEAR ME?...I’LL HAVE YOUR ASS BACK IN THE BINGO HALLS SO GOT DAMN>...OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SON OF A BITCH YOU BROKE MY ARM!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yup in three different places and that’s why it hurts so bad! Listen I believe my wife is coming to see you next...If you tell anyone especially her a damn word I said here I am telling you..Look at me...Doc...STOP CRYING AND LOOK AT ME...If you tell anyone a word I said to you here today I’m not playing around with you...I’ll come back here and I’ll phuckin kill you!
As soon as Johnny said that we hear his phone vibrating again and he slightly removes it from his pocket to check it and sees that it’s his wife. He3 hits the silent button and goes to put it in his pcket but then decides against it and pulls it out and actually answers it. He puts hit foot on the Doc’s head and puts his index finger over his lips telling him to SHHHHH as he looks around for any possible witnesses.
LA Johnny Stylez: Hey baby wassup!
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: Don’t you hey baby wassup me mother fucker where the hell are you?
LA Johnny Stylez: At the shrink’s office you got the memo right?
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: Yeah my appointment is in a few hours, but why has it been so hard to get in touch with you?...Look I think I know you are upset...But look just come meet me right nw and I can explain to you there is no reason for you to be upset and it’s silly really….Johnny? Baby are you there?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah I’m here sorry...The Doc and i had a slight misunderstanding is all...So B since I got ya on the horn I’m gunna need you to work that Louisiana charm on this dude cauuuseeee I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: So do you mean like Zuma and boundaries misunderstanding or…?
LA Johnny Stylez: More like a Wolf Brother’s misunderstanding….Yeah I kinda broke his arm in three places but the asshat swung at me first!
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: OK is he still alive?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yes he is still alive, he tried to punch me, I’m not gunna kill him for that I don’t think? I am thinking about seeling him into sex slavery though….*holds the phone away from his mouth and whispers...I’m just kidding….KiNDa!!!
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: Well where are you I want to see you….
LA Johnny Stylez: Still at the Doctor’s office PuNKiN!!!
Blair Buchannan-Stylez OK, well will you meet me somewhere?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah sure...Just I gotta go take care of some shit first just text me where you wanna meet and I’ll meet you there!
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: Ok baby I love you!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah...Love YoU TOO! KBYE…
I then hung up the phone and removed my 9mm I had in a holster attached to my back belt loop. I removed it threw back the hammer and pressed it to his his head as I jerked him around to make sure he was looking me straight in the face.
LA Johnny Stylez: Now look here phuck stick...Don’t say anything stupid because I will put the barrel of this gun right on your got damn knee cap and pull the trigger and believe me when I tell you that shit still hurts even after it stops hurtin ya dig?...Now if we learned anything today it was not to sit there and judge others when you are just as much of a piece of shit as you think I am. And I never have nor will I ever take shit off of some Momma’s boy like you who should be beaten in public everyday for being such a pussy chump bitch! Now if you find anything I just said confusing or confounding, take it up with my wife she said her appointment is a little later today. If you’d like I can have her just meet you in the emergency room while they take care of this arm, but if I find out you were even kinda almost rude to her I’ll see that she has to visit you in the
Ok now get the phuck outtah here!
Johnny kicked the Doctor on his ass as he ran away with his arm slumped over as he was in crucial unrelenting pain. But serves him right for gettin all up in his feelings over Johnny, all he did was what the man asked. But that’s this world for ya these days . It’s like you can almost see Johnny thinking that as he watches that wet twat of a shrink run away like a whipped bitch. Followed by a sinking feeling in his gut as he thought about what actually just happened and was momentarily struck by the notion I’m probably gunna wind up regretting that...But then again maybe not...Maybe at one point in time he would have but with the type of money power and influence he has now...There is a possibility someone would get bitten in the ass over what he just did but no one close enough to him where the blow back would do any considerable or real damage.
So Johnny just brushed it off as he hit what was left of the joint, and made his way to the truck. As per his request a small OPW camera crew had joined him in the parking lot as they had been randomly following him around shooting footage for an HBO PRIMETIME special featuring he and his wife Blair Buchannan-Stylez about the rise to power and to our place at our new home on the Home Box Office Network. Johnny signed a contract that said from now until his power suspension is up all of his match promos would be shot by the hybrid crew of HBO and OPW officals, and HBO would be able to present Stylez and a small handful of other superstars to have their promos aired on the actual HBO network as shorts and special attractions.
The other 6 superstars have yet to be named or leaked, but soon as one of them does you’ll all be the first to know. Johnny walks over and pops down the tailgate to his truck, and removes a cigarette from his pack and sparks it up. He puts his sunglasses on, and takes another drag as he leans against bed of the truck with his arms crossed glaring off into space. After a few moments he reaches in the truck and grabs a black and white stripped Hurley hat and puts it on bakwards. He puts his cigarette in his mouth takes a drag and exhales the smoke through his nostrils as he slowly begins to speak.
LA Johnny Stylez: You figured this week I would be overjoyed! Practically phuckin tap dancing to the sound of my music after marching to the beat of my own drum for better or for worse has lead us all here. I lead here and you mother phuckers
Being the best isn’t easy you know?...I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s a shit ton of FUN! But it is definitely not easy. But then again in comparison to what else is out there some of you mother phuckers do my job for me! I mean one of the reasons I am able to be in the position I am in is because most of you shitbags got so lazy and started handing out top dollar for some moronz two cents that is so far off the mark from the sheer and utter art given to you by the previous generation it’s really
And it ate at me every phucking day for eight years. I didn’t leave on my terms but I was burnt out and fed up. Cause like I said being the best aint easy especially when you had to fight as hard for it as I did! But InJu$TiCe 4 ALL boys and girls I have to say looking back over my storied career….INJUSTICE 4 ALL will go down at one of the best nights I have ever had. SO fulfilling and great, because other than Roger screwing my boy Tyler over...The Syndicate had our greatest night to date and we’ve had some great evenings here in OPW! But it was a day I have literally been waiting for for the better part of two decades. To finally deliver a blow to Vincent Wolf and his pack of smug,, self righteous, circle jerking, egomaniacal, overrated
Which for those of you keeping score at home is somewhere behind or beneath me! Because I was the one who waded through the muck and stuck with the business after it took that nose dive when the original circuit started to vanish and gave life to overrated shitholes like F2B. It was me who kept fighting ad trail blazing making sure that you ungrateful rat bastards even had a
And what about all of this makes it so great? Why is it that I held onto something so petty for so long. Look you can call it petty if you want and you know what maybe that’s exactly what the phuck it is to you. But I don’t have any spare phucks to dole out on account of any of your worthless and irrelevant opinions. Because of the simple fact I can look straight into this camera and ask Vincent Wolf, VooDoo, and Damon Riggs a very rhetorical question that we all know the answer to but they wouldn’t say aloud even if they was standing in front of me! But I’ll go ahead and ask it anyway, because I want them to know it and I know they are listening right now. Because that in and of itself is the accomplishment. Part of their war on me they tried to make you believe I was still as insignificant to them as I was when they first raided the wrestling territory Jesse and I had just brought to heel. But I swore to them that they would regret the day they over looked me. ANd most of them wound up taking beatings for it towards the end there
But no more henchmen I have made it to the M. Bison part of the game. Now when I swing, hit, connect everyone from the top all the way to the very bottom can feel it….Aint that right
But ya know what I mean I know I brought it up, but
ANd you are going to keep not knowing about him because we aint out here today to say anything or or about him, because I’m not in the habit of discussing people who sit at home, fold clothes and watch my product on TV! Just because he is Allison Riggs-Preston’s WIFE doesn’t make him any different from the rest of you bitches mmmmmKAY?
Anicka Swan my OPW Immortal Champion, and quite the job she has done so far right? I mean if it were me, I’d be shining so bright even the sun going down wouldn’t stop me from shining! BUt then again, it’s just you! Hopefully by now you are growing more and more jealous by the day of your FORMER PACK member Xavier. Because he finally had the balls to do what you never did...And you never actually having balls
You always have and from the looks of things you always will because you hitched your phuckin wagon to the only pussy in this company that’s looser than yours! So congrats you two mongrels
If I don’t then wait till Myself and The Syndicate CLIMB IN THE RING AND BEAT THE BREAKS OFF OF YOU THREE PONIES! Making it back to back the greatest night of my career, because I will have beaten the OPW Immortal Champion, I will have rubbed it in the face of the two Riggs BITCHES BANNED FROM MY ARENA! I will have given Vinent Wolf another reason to toss and turn all night long, and I will have proven to Roger Wright on my first night without my rightful powers as a governing force here in OPW that whether I have the same level of power he does right now….Even without my offical OPW decision making powers, he still doesn’t
And I’m gunna climb in that ring and I’m gunna smack him around for good ole time’s sake and introduce Anicka Swan and Allison Riggs Preston to the same treatment they begged for during their tenures in CLASSLESS WRESTLING when I beat them like they stole something! And don’t worry not an ounce of empathy or sympathy from me because the beating you have comig from Myself and my other two partners is one the three of you have been working over time for! It is the message you have ignored until we left you no choice but to glare the ugly truth in the face. We have allowed you to live on our world long enough. The Pack is no longer the impenetrable force it was once known as. You bleed just like the rest of them have….And You’ll
I have earned this by being patient, by being ready, and by being better than every last one of you! X sees it….And you have known this was coming all along you had to. The one defiant voice that no matter what always told you asshats the truth whether you accepted it as such or not. Well now I’m banging on your got damn door step serving your sorry asses a phucking EVICTION NOTICE! BECAUSE NOW I”M COMING FOR IT ALL...WHich will consequently leave you broke down over the hill Tuesdays GONE WITH THE WIND HASS BEEN WET RAG PHUCK MOOK can sit there and just let it and watch it happen..Because other than that there is only one thing left for each of you to do...And just before you bow I only require that you all take turns begging me for my forgivness that you won’t get which in my books ten times out of ten is what I mean when I tell bitches like you to
Johnny then flicks his cigarette away and hops off the talgate. He spins his hat around and pulls the bill down in his face as he flashes that trademark arrogant grin as he turns around and heads for the driverside door. Before he gets there he opens up the back door and pulls out his OPW IMMORTAL WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP BELT. He fastens it around the waist but then quickly takes it off, as he looks at the bottom and it still has Vincent Wolf’s name plate on it. He removes his pocket knife and prys it off and then kicks dirt over it as he throws it on the ground. He then gets in his truck and cranks the engine. SIGNS by CAPTIVES if heard blaring over the PA System as he throws his truck in reverse and goes flying into Dr. Kurt Simon’s mail box completely obliterating it and then driving off into the world leaving you with the usual notion that this time like all the others before it
….Has Been Your PLea$uRe
LA Johnny Stylez: Cut the bullshit Ariel I know you are there, I can hear all the shit going on in the background!
Ariel Shadows: Aw damnit! What gave it away?
LA Johnny Stylez: You mean aside from you actually saying the word beep? Uh
Ariel Shadows: Ok OK….FINE! Look…
LA Johnny Stylez: Wait, I can barley fuckin hear you where in the phuck are you?
Ariel Shadows: I’m at your fucking party bro...Man the guys weren’t joking you do know how to throw a got damn party I’ll tell you that. Coke in the punch bowl nice nice...I’ll have to stop by there and motorboat it before I leave! Don’t tell HBO K?
LA Johnny Stylez: What? What the phuck are you doin here?
Ariel Shadows: No...WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING NOT IN HERE?
Johnny looks down at the files and pitures Eoin O’Rourke gave him. The one on top just so happens to be the one of his wife kissing Sam Laramie Jr. He takes a stack of other papers on hi desk and covers them up. He then walks over to the door and opens it. He starts looking around the room, for a ratty little bitch who is on her cell phone. It takes a few brief moments for Ariel to look up at Johnny. She passes the cross blunt back this rather large African American male, as she shes Johnny and waves like they are long lost friends. She is still on her phone as Johnny impolitely waves back and speaks into his phone.
LA Johnny Stylez: GET YOUR PHUCKIN ASS OVER HERE NOW!
Ariel Shadows: OK MR. BOSSY BRITCHES IM COMIN! Later Francis it was so nice to meet you!
Ariel daps and hugs the big black dude as she starts gooflily dancing all the way over to Johnny as he holds the door open for her as she saunters inside. He shuts the door behind them and thn makes his way over to his desk. He removes a thick glass sheet from his desk with some white powdery substance on it. He chops out two lines and rails it, and then places the glass on the end of the desk and throws the straw down. Ariel grabs it and SNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFF. She shakes her head and holds her nose.
Ariel Shadows: OWWWWW THAT COKE BURNS….WHY DOES IT BURN?
LA Johnny Stylez: Because it’s not coke, ya coke whore!
Ariel Shadows: Man I’m trying all kinds of different things tonight. I was just outside smoking this thing called a Jimmy? A Jango?
LA Johnny Stylez: You mean a JEFFREY?
Ariel Shadows: THAT’S THE ONE!
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh dear GOD..You better hurry up and tell me what youu came here to tell me so we have enough time to find you a furry wall...They have to have one around here somewhere!
Ariel Shadows: Ohhh a furry wall sounds AWESOME RIGHT NOW!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: ARIEL!!! FOCUS...WHAT THE PHUCKIN PHUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Ariel Shadows: Ohh to come tell you personally that HBO executives would like all partie in the six man tag team match to see a shrink before you step in the ring to make sure you guys are like mentally stable and shit...You know? Because we been watchin Johnny and you cats be doin some fucked up ass shit to one another...The hell is wrong with yall?
LA Johnny Stylez: How much time ya got!
Ariel is holding her hand up in front of her as if she was studying it. She then looks up at Johnny and he eyes are so glassy they look like they could shatter at any moment.
Ariel Shadows: Uhhhh….not much I’d wager! This is weird...Do you see these Wolverine claws I just got?...It’s like where did they fricken come from right?...RIGHT???
LA Johnny Stylez: OK...Ms. Shadows come with me….Im gunna find whatever phuck nugget gave you a Jeffrey and then I’ll probably have their throats slit in the center of the room!
Ariel Shadows: OHH can I do it with my claws???
LA Johnny Stylez: No dear they aren’t really there!
Ariel Shadows: Oh yes they are...SHINK…..DId you hear that?
LA Johnny Stylez: What your sad attempt at mimicking the sound Wolverwine’s claws make when they pop out of his hand, yes I heard it….I think we should try and find someone who didn’t hear it!
Ariel Shadows: Well that will be easy because if I just got Wolverwine’s powers I’ll be able to smell them! Let’s go!
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh dear God It’s going to be a long night!...
Johnny then reaches over on his desk and grabs his phone. He scrolls down to the name Brooklyn Chase who took over as his assistant after Madison Ivy was promoted to backstage interviewer...He dials her number and waits a few moments….
Brooklyn Chase: Decided to take me up on my over to give you a …
LA Johnny Stylez: No Brooklyn that won’t be necessary Doll...Listen did you bring that stupid white fluffy purse with you tonight?
Brooklyn Chase: You mean my puppy?
LA Johnny Stylez: Sure?...
Brooklyn Chase: Of course I brought my little SchnuckumsBEAR!
LA Johnny Stylez: Could you bring him to my office please?
Brookly CHase: Why you aren’t going to hurt him are you?
LA Johnny Stylez: No some asshat out thee gave the new Liason from HBO a got damn Jeffrey and there are no got damn furry walls in this building, I need something and I need it PHUCKING FIVE MINUTES AGO NOW ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME OR DO YOU WANNA GO BACK TO HAVING YOUR FACE USED FOR CUM SHOOTING PRACTICE? GET YOUR PHUCKIN ASS IN HERE NOW!
Brooklyn CHase: Ok, I love it when you talk dirty to me like that...Ill be right there you sure you don’t want me to bl…
LA Johnny Stylez: YES IM SURE COME ON YA SILLY BITCH!
It doesn’t take long before Brooklyn Chase comes running her big tittied self into Johnny’s office with her puppy. By this point Ariel Shadows was glaring off into space with God knows what running through that THC soaked mind of hers. I couldn’t help but laugh at her as I watched her face light up when Brooklyn sat that white fluffy rat she calls her puppy in her lap.and suddenly you see a sudden calm come over Ariel’s face. Brooklyn stood back and smiled at her as Ariel looked up at her as she pet the furry creature and with a warm sincere tone looked up at Brooklyn and said…
Ariel Shadows: Ohhh by Ali Babba and The 40 Thieves I could kiss you!
LA Johnny Stylez: Don’t threaten her with a good time Ariel!
Ariel Shadows: I don’t make threats...I make…
LA Johnny Stylez: Trouble?
Ariel Shadows: Johnny you shouldn’t talk that way in front of this precious little kitty!
Brooklyn Chase: He’s a puppy!
Ariel Shadows: Are you sure?
LA Johnny Stylez: I think it looks like a rodent dressed in a cotton ball fur coat!
Brooklyn/Ariel: YOU ARE SOOOOO MEAN!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah, so in other BReaKiNG NeWZ ARIEL was going to tell Johnny why in the phuck she crashed his party?
Ariel Shadows: You mean other than free booze, food, boys girls and all the other goodies you got scampering about?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well if that’s all you came here for FINE, I’d like it if you and I could be friends Ariel...But if you are here to hit me with some more bullshit I’d rather you just come on out with it!
Ariel Shadows: Well remember when I said you all had to go to therapy?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yes that was like 5 hours ago!
Ariel Shadows: For real? It feels like months ago...Anyway! You don’t think you got to pick your own SHRINK did you? HA, come on Johnny this is HBO we are talking about here...They are almost as bad as DISNEY...and WalMart….Ohhh fuck fucking Walmart!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yet you work for them?
Ariel Shadows: Wait, I just said all of that out loud?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yup every single word!
Ariel Shadows:FUCK! I hate it when I do that shit! But I came here to give you all the information and shit so you could give it to those it concerns and so on and so fourth!
LA Johnny Stylez: And you couldn’t just text or email me this information?
Ariel Shadows: Well yeah but then I heard you were havin this killer party and well..Here I am petting your really big hamster!
Brooklyn CHase: IT’S A PUPPY!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: And it sure as phuck aint mine!
Ariel Shadows: Uh-huh that’s what I said!
Just then this cluster phuck of a situation got even more cluster-phucky when my stablemates Tyler Knowles and Gabriel Tuck came to the door, each with their own dilemma, but hey at least they knocked first!
Tyler Knowles: Johnny?...You got a sec bro? Your wife keeps calling she says your phone keeps going straight to voicemail, and well there’s these two dudes im trying to….Well ya know ohh and I got this great idea I wanna run by ya!
Gabriel Tuck: We’re *burp almost outta beer MAN!
LA Johnny Stylez: SO GO GET MORE ASSHAT! I bought the first seven kegs after that its BYOB! And Tyler tell ur idea to Ariel she loves ideas!
Ariel Shadows: LIAR!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: OK so she might not but I’m sure the HBO appointed shrink we have to see does..
Tyler Knowles: The what now?
Johnny walks over and presses the piece of paper Ariel meant to bring him to his chest and makes a B LINE for the CoCaINe PUNCH POWL, as Tyler takes the paper and looks it over reading it to himself as he looks up at Johnny who is motorboating the cocaine punch bowl.
THE NEXT F’N DAY
Hangover isn’t even the word! Johnny wishes he had a hangover right now….The worst one he has ever had, because that would make whatever the phuck he is going through presently seem like a walk in the park or a game of UNO...HELLZ YEAH UNO…
...Anyway, so to recap real quick the last we saw of CO-OWNER of OUTLAW PRO WRESTLING and once again one half of the OPW Immortal Tag Team Champions LA Johnny Stylez was motorboating a punch bowl filled with coke. Well for those of you that don’t know there aren’t very many drugs that Johnny doesn’t really care for and COKE is at the tippy top of that list as a matter of fact it’s 1 & 2 respectively. So mix that in and after that he started drinking, and guess what...Johnny dont drink either. So suffice to say last night got really phucking out of hand, and now he was in a waiting room waiting to see this company mandated Psychiatrist to make sure he was mentally stable enough to compete in the ring.
Johnny sat in the waiting room with his sunglasses on and his manilla folder containing everything Eoin O’Rourke had gotten for him. He decided to try to look into it a bit more to take his mind off of the spinning room and the fact that he had to...Well wait hold on just a moment…
Johnny grabs the trash can that he had next to him and suddenly puts it to his face and pukes his guts up again for the 4th time since he has been here. After he is finished he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a pack of Newports, pops one in his mouth and fires it up. His eyes kept going back to this big family portrait of Dr. Kurt Simon and his white pickett fence blonde but fairly unattractive wife two boys and one girl all around the early teens. They looked like the bunch of stuck up stuffed shirt zits on the ass of humanity that drive mini vans and struggle with their stupid ass white people problems The Shrink’s secretary looked at him crossly as she says..
Secretary: Sir there is no smoking in here!
Johnny lowers his sunglasses as he looks at her with his bloodshot blue eyes and mouths the words “I DONT PHUCKING CARE.” ANd then curtly smiles before putting the glasses back up on his eyes. She picks up the phone when suddenly a tall skinny man with blue eyes and light brown hair that was fading to grey that was really starting to thin around both sides of his forehead. He wore a green sweater vest with a grey button down shirt and a pair of dark khakis. His sleeves were rolled up and he walks in and tells his secretary its ok. He eye balls the trash can full of vomit as Johnny looks up at him and smiles. The Doc lowers the thin set of reading glasses on his face smiles warmly and says.
Dr. Kurt Simon: You must be Johnny Stylez, nice to meet you. I’d shake your hand but social distancing ya know. If it makes you feel any better I begged the HBO guys to put this off until everyone went back to work but they said it couldn’t wait so…
LA Johnny Stylez: Drugs?
Dr. Kurt Simon: I beg your pardon?
LA Johnny Stylez: You said if it made me feel any better and it didn’t...The only thing that is going to make me feel better is drugs, and since my guy said he can’t meet me until after I am finished with this stupid crock of shit waste of time I think feeling better is out of the questions...Unless of course you have some drugs back there that your holding out on me...But I swear whatever you give me I can replace it!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Uhhhh….why don’t you just come with me back to my office and we will see about getting us both out of here as quickly as possible!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah whatever Dr. Dipshit...Lead the way!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Ohh boy this is going to be fun!
LA Johnny Stylez: Not nearly as much fun as you signing whatever it is you need to sign and just telling them that you spoke to me and everything was peachy!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Mr. Stylez I think you and I both know I can’t do that!
LA Johnny Stylez: NoPe! Actually DoC the only thing both you and I will know by the time this is over is how much you are probably going to really regret that decision. But if you insist...Wait pardon me for just a moment.
Johnny then leans over grabs the black waste basket and hurls his guts up once more. The poor doctor looks at his secretary and she shrugs her shoulders while nonchalantly chewing her bubble gum. Johnny finishes and removes his phone from his pocket and sees that it is his wife Blair calling...Again. He hits the shady button and sends her right to voicemail. Johnny then stand there holding the wastebasket not sure what he was to do with it. He doctor then takes it from him and walks over to the front door and opens it. He holds the door open and looks at Johnny and says…
Dr. Kurt Simon: It’s such a pretty day out anyway what do you say we don’t waste it? We are just talking after all…
LA Johnny Stylez: And you don’t feel like making that poor lady who works for you clean up my puke after I leave?...Dude my secretary is way hotter than yours!
Dr. Kurt Simon: That’s my daughter!
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohhh really?..SHe’s uh...She’s uhhhh…
Dr. Kurt Simon: Right this way Mr. Stylez!
LA Johnny Stylez: Right!...Sorry!
So Johnny turns around and lowers his sunglasses looking at the secretary and found it humorous enough to crack a smile over the fact that since he now knew the girl was his daughter she seemed a bit hotter than she did before. So Johnny winks and flashes that arrogant smirk of his as she smiles a little flirty smile and waves back as the camera pans around to see an OPW logo and a picture of OPW IMMORTAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, ANICKA SWANN posing with her title belt.
Scene then cuts outside to Johnny and The Good Doctor walking and talking. They come to an area right by some trees. The is a tire swing, attached to the tree, as well as a few picnic tables a gazebo, and all other sorts of sitting and recreational pieces scattered about. Johnny just plops down on a bench and looks up at the doctor who as the doctor has yet to take a seat. He remove his glasses and wipes them off with the tail of his shirt and then checks them before putting them back on and looks at Johnny and asks…
Dr. Kurt Simon: You got a smoke?
Johnny then reaches into his back pocket and removes the platinum 4:19 cigarette case and holds it open for the doc to take one out. But the Doctor looks inside the case and apparently doesn’t see what he was actually looking for.
LA Johnny Stylez: What? Thought you said you wanted a cigarette?
Dr. Kurt Simon: No I asked if you had a smoke I said nothing about ciagrettes.
LA Johnny Stylez: Is this some kinda test? Because if it is and i oblige you and I get a call informing me we got kicked off of HBO, I’m gunna call your wife and tell her you got kicked off the road on the way home!
Dr. Kurt Simon: No, no trick...I find the best way to get people to talk to you is to get them to open up is to relate to them. FInd out what they have in common so that they feel like sharing with you. I used to smoke doobies back in my day….It’s Friday after noon what the hell am I right?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yes I suppose you are, but before we go any further why don’t you tell me how this works because I know how doc and patient confidentiality is supposed to go. But if HBO is trying to dig up dirt on me to use down the road then as usual I aint telling you shit DOC.
Dr. Kurt Simon: Ohh no I cannot discuss what we actually...discuss with them. I can only report back my diagnosis on whether you are mentally competent to handle both being in the ring and performing your job as the Co-Owner of the company. It is highly irregular for the owners of a company such as yours also seek to actively compete still inside the ring. What is it you have left to prove Johnny?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well that’s a complicated question Doc with an even more complicated answer. Because you see me personally I don’t have shit to prove to none of these mother phuckers. I’ve proven that I am the absolute best at what I do damn near everywhere I have gone. But at the same time three years ago I turned on the TV to catch some pro wrestling because I wanted to see what has been going on since I departed eight years prior. And there are no words to describe my level of disgust as I could hardly sit there and watch the drivel they were passing off as the sport I once upon a time knew as the greatest form of competition on this planet! So in a sense to me that meant one of two things to me. Either me and my generation didn’t teach the lesson well enough or we didn’t teach it all to these douchebags that inherited it in our stead. Now don’t get me wrong there were still enough of us around that most of the principles and traditions that we kept going and created ourselves should have remained alive, but either they got lazy or they didn’t know. Either PHUCKING WAY it was clear this business was in sore need of it’s E.P.I.T.O.M.E. once again...hahahahaha
Dr. Kurt Simon: What’s funny John?
LA Johnny Stylez: You have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve referred to myself as that name?
Dr. Kurt Simon: The Epitome?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah…
Dr. Kurt Simon: OHHH I don’t think I could throw an exact date on it but I know Immortalz of Wrestling was a long ass time ago wasn’t it?
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh Doc you know your shit...But apparently not all that well because there were small stops in NCW F2B and S2N, EWF on the way out...But to answer the question it has been fourteen years seven months, three weeks, six days, and sixteen hours since I last officially called referred to myself as The Epitome of Pro Wrestling. I dropped it in the promotion I was in before I joined New Edge Wrestling.
Dr. Kurt Simon: And what made you think of that?
LA Johnny Stylez: I dunno man, I guess when ShowCa$e went off the air I was sitting in my office alone thinking of everything that I have to think about these days being the owner and what not, and I was sitting there staring at the new OPW Tag Team Title belt that Le’Andra Fury and I had won earlier in the night and somethin had happened that I had been waiting decades to do...Actual decades man...And finally after all this time I phucking pulled it off and I dunno I guess it got me feelin a little nostalgic. Cause I mean it’s easy to let all of that time lapse and then you look up and can hardly recall how in the phuck we got here to begin with? And believe you me buddy that very thought has been runnin through my mind a lot lately. Because man the shit I have done to get here would keep you up at night!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Yeah I know who you are...I’ve watched wrestling since I was a kid man. My dad used to take me to the matches when I was younger! I saw some of your early battles against Kristian Oss when I was a junior in High School. I watched Bobby Ciccione go to war with Damon “Havok” Riggs. I was actually in the arena the night Josh Manhunt beat your old tag team partner Josh Manhunt in that Buried Alive Match back in iXw and after he finished piling dirt on top of it...I’ll be got damned if that mother fucker didn’t whip out his johnson right there and
LA Johnny Stylez: Pissed on him yeah! Josh never really talked about that shit, but I knew it ate him alive. When he and I won the WFnW Tag Team Titles there was a group of em “THe UNBREAKABLEZ” they called themselves and it was Manhunt’s mission and then it became our Mission to do anything and everything we could to tarnish that name. But man I never thought I’d live to hear myself say...Those were the days, but when I sit and think about it...I can’t help it. It’s the got damn truth! Back in the gap the way we carried ourselves left a lot to be desired but there was more talent in the business than there is today. These butt jokers who call themselves World Champions these days would have been humiliated so badly by even the worst of us back then. And for the life of me I still don’t know what the hell went wrong or what happened between my last match in New Edge to what the business is right now. A bunch of self righteous, half ass, douchebag phuck boys who pick fights and then get mad when they get busted in the phuckin mouth! It drives me literally BAT SHIT CRAZY! Me I fought for any and every scrap of anything I’ve ever had in this business! Everything!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Yeah but not everyone feels that way especially since your cousin Jesse Styles ran New Edge Wrestling!
LA Johnny Stylez: FIrst of all Doc see that just shows everything you don’t know, because the facts are that Jesse Styles owned New Edge Wrestling and made the most because of it...But make no mistake about it...Ryan Pugh, LA Johnny Stylez, XXX, and Roger Wright RAN NEW EDGE WRESTLING...Just never at the same time! And I think that’s what pisses me off the most about being back, because if nothing I will say this for the current crop...Working conditions have never been this good. Back in our day you’d be lucky if you were ever in any one promotion for longer than a year. Now these days some of these companies have been around for decades. And if some of the guys that were around back then were here now they would be the legends their talent and star power should have made them to begin with but didnt because a handful of us couldn’t see beyond our own selfish bullshit!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Well Johnny...You gunna spark this doobie or what chief?
LA Johnny Stylez: The wha...ohh the J...Nah here man you can spark it up…
Dr. Kurt Simon: Yeah but getting back to what you were talking about is that regret I hear in your voice?
LA Johnny Stylez: Phuck NO! If I could go back and do it all over again I think I’d do everything the exact same and twice on Sunday! Because I didnt need to go back and make better friends, because one thing I learned here lately there aint no friends in this business. There is family and there is enemies! And if you stick around long enough you can’t really tell the difference between the two on the account that you hate them as much as you love them...And if I’m not mistaken isn’t that the got damn definition of family?
Johnny tosses him his zippo lighter and he sparks it up. The two then begin passing the joint back and fourth and shooting the shit. Due to doctor patient confidentiality we aren’t really able to really show their conversation but we can show you tid bits...So we put together this sweet and sexy montage together for you...So enjoy…
Suddenly DEAR AGONY by Breaking Benjamin begins to softly play in the back ground as we see the Doc pass Johnny the joint. Johnny takes it and then takes a hit as he looks at the Dotor and says….
LA Johnny Stylez: And then I hit that bitch with The Career Ender which was a Diamon Cutter everyone used the Diamond Cutter back in the gap you remember that shit?...No but I hit this bitch with that move covered her 1,2,3 and that was the first time I won The WcF World Heavyweight Championship...And wouldn’t ya know it not two weeks later here come these Adams Family lookin mother phuckers named Kristian Oss an VooDoo, and it’s been on ever since
As the chorus breaks for the first time we see Johnny pass the joint back to the doc who takes it takes a hit and asks Johnny…
Dr. Kurt Simon: So wait let me get this straight Paul Montouri used to refer to himself as Jesus Christ? So you went out and hired his 12 Apostles? Where did you even find Jalel White and Vanilla Ice back then?
LA Johnny Stylez: Man I don’t know I kinda just did...and Paul was so got damn mad he couldn’t even see straight and then we got to the show Sunday Night and I dropped his punk ass and he never stepped to me like that EVER AGAIN!!!
The 2nd verse of Dear Agony starts as The Doc passes the joint back to The PaRaGoNa as he continues with his stories…
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah so Me Morbid and Daye built this group Chaos Theory that helped NCW get off the ground and then this curly headed phuck who looked just like Fred Savage comes up to me and is like Johnny I need you to go out there and let me get the win...My company will look like shit if I go down, I can’t loose to you not after everything you did. He might as well have been crying….I said OK, but I want every dollar of my contract here tonight! So against my better judgement I went out and did the job for that curley haired shit stain Bryant who has been bankrupt so many times it’s laughable. But I got my money and got the phuck outta dodge stood back and watched them crumble up just like everyone else!
Johnny passes the joint back mid way through the 2nd verse...Hopefully you asshats at home are picking up on the friggin pattern here….
Dr. Kurt Simon: So he just called you up and told you to come in and bam just like that?
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh yeah when I got there it was like ASSHAT CITY, so I took a tazer to the CHamps balls and he looked in my eyes saw not one ounce of give and knew if he would have doubted me he was finna get 1000 volts right to the nutsack so he screamed out I QUIT...Only he ended up meaning more than the match because after I humiliated him and took the NEW Championship into my possession no one ever heard from his sorry ass ever again!
The chorus hists once more as the J gets passed again…
LA Johnny Stylez: Now listen people either give me too much credit or not enough, because let me straighten one thing out right here and right now...I didn’t addict the mother phucker to heronie! You can’t force addiction on anyone. I just made it readily available, and if he was willing to walk into his best friend’s hotel room and steal his prized possession and come bring it back to me then that shit is on him! You should have seen the look on his face when he knocked on my door to bring the belt to me...HAHAHAHA and I shorted him on the amount I said I was going to give him for it...But the way I look at it was it was mine I won it four days later anyway so what really went wrong there right?
As the chorus leads into the third verse we see the Doc’s mouth droop further and further as he listens to the stories of the things Johnny has done to people over the course of his career for the sake of victory and for wins that came with Gold and promises of Immortality. But with each sory the doctor becomes more and more horrified…
LA Johnny Stylez: So yeah then I went on the Maurey Povich show and got him to tell the entire world he wasn’t mine! No I have no phucking clue what happened to that phucking kid. He wasn’t really mine so why do I give a phuck?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah and then Hunter slapped the handcuffs on Envy and forced him to sit there watch like the helplesss piece of shit he always has been while we shaved her phucking head balder than the twat between her legs!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yup and when she woke up she had no got damn clue who she was, so I told her her name was Juliette, and she was eating out of the palm of my hand after that. So much so that even when her memory came back she couldn’t figure out if she was in love with me or hated my guts!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah then we stole their ring gear and replaced it with these cheesy ass wrestling gear from these douche bag indy guys they used to wear during the 80’s but these phucking idiots thoiught it was the best thing in the universe...But Envy and I still put em down that night and walked out with the PCW World Tag Team Titles!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah well did you ever meet Sarah Pugh? CUNT isn’t even the word to describe that woman...So I may have put a little battery acid in the bag and when she snorted it maybe couldn’t find my phone to call 911...Yeah Pugh went recluse after that and no one saw him till he vowed to get vengeance on me when he came back to NEW during it’s death rattle run, but as always he didn’t get it because I’m just better than he is...Always was always will be!
The song finally starts to fade away as Johnny is wrapping up his final story as Dr. Kurt just seems baffled by listening to all the utterly horrible, inhumane, and down right sinful things he has done to people throughout the course of his entire career. ANd he has taken years off..It looked like Dr. Kurt was convinced he was in the presence of pure evil
LA Johnny Stylez: ...ANd just when we were a week away from opening up for business, you’ll never guess who the phuck shows up saying he doesn’t care about the past just wants a chance to get back in the ring…
Dr. Kurt Simon: Xavier Wolf?
LA Johnny Stylez: CORRECTAMUNDO!!!!
Dr. Kurt Simon: And you were surprised to see him because you thought he was dead right?
LA Johnny Stylez: Correct again Doc wow you really are paying attention. But I mean like yeah I thought that asshole was dead, because I mean we set the entire apartment complex on fire!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Ohh dear Lord, that was you? You know almost thirty people died in that fire?
LA Johnny Stylez: Damn and not one of them was X how about those odds? But I did get the girl he was banging at the time...But I did him a favor because he then left and went and met Le’Andra Fury who is the love of his life apparently...And it made it very easy to coax him over to our side. He told me maybe when I originally told him my plan for pro wrestling domination. Once he learned Le’Andra Fury the son of long time wolf Rival Brian Fury was coming to join our ranks he got real interested real quick, so I did some digging and found out why. I immediately then went to work on Le’Andra because I knew if she was in the group then I’d have something over X. I mean the guy and I are sort of like brothers...or cousins who always kick it when they go to family functions...But there is a lot of hate there to, that I’m sure one day he and I will have to square away...But that day aint today or tomorrow so I aint worried about it. Right now he is content alongside myself and the rest of the Syndicate as we carve out our own wing in the annals of pro wrestling history. Because when it’s all said and done and the historians look back at the history of this sport they will see that it was us who set the precedent it was us who set the bar! I promised each member of the ynicate the world of pro wrestling on a silver platter and so far I have delivered and I will continue to do so...And no pack of BITCH WOLVES...No one with the WRIGHT attitude and n no irritating jobbers from other companies are going to rise up and stop me...They should all know better at this point...And you’d think the fact that they don’t bothers me...But it really doesn’t because at the end of the day being back in that ring reminding them why I am the single most destructive force this business has or will ever know is one of the things that truly makes me happy! So as you can see Doc I am actually quite mentally sound!
Dr. Kurt Simon: You’re just a selfish prick asshole evil asshole!
LA Johnny Stylez: You said asshole twice!
Dr. Kurt Simon: Did I?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah….Now look I dunno where you get off judging me...Because I saw your little faggoty ass picture hanging in the lobby of you and your family and your “daughrer” wasnt in the picture...SO tell me Mr. Of Nazerath what’s the phucking phuck is up with that shit?
Dr. Kurt Simon: SHe’s a grad student at the university I teach at, I just said she was my daughter so you wouldn’t try and fuck her.
LA Johnny Stylez: And why would you care if I phucked her there Doc?
Dr. Kurt Simon: Well at this point isn’t it obvious?
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh most definitley but I still wanna hear you say it especially since you just sat there th entire time and judged me for every little thing that came out of my mouth. Just because I went above and beyond to destroy my enemies doesn’t make you better than me you phucking piece of shit...Because you sir are a coward...At least the people that I went for knew I was phuckin comin. I aint never backed down from no one and I’ve stood by any and everything I have ever done in this business. You….You’re wife is probably at home right now half way through a bottle of Chardonnay she opened yesterday cooking supper for those scurvy brats that were in that giant photo in the lobby while you pretend to have to work late while you stick your pathetic baby dick inside of your grad student that wants to be a porn star!
Dr. Kurt Simon: How...How do you know she wants to be a porn star...Because when I signed in I asked her if she ever thought about doing it, she was shy at first but then I put my business card down on the counter and I said text me if you are interested! My phone went off before I even sat down! So no I won’t phuck her personally but I know about five to six nine inch dicks that will right in her virgin butt crack…
The doc didn’t like what he was hearing as we see rage build up in his eyes with every word that fell from Johny’s lips, eventually to where he has enough and he swings at Johnny. Johnny just out of instinct, side stepped the undisciplined punch grabbed him b y his arm and slammed his head against the table smacking and breaking his glasses and holding his arm behind his head where all he had to do was nudge it a little in any direction and he would snap it like a twig. Johnny then comes back o and realizes whats happened and a look of worry comes over his face briefly before he returns to his senses and realizes he is the one holding this dude in a position for him to beg for mercy not the other way around. Johnny’s arrogant smirk creeps across his face as he slightly leans on the Doctor’s arm and speaks to him…
LA Johnny Stylez: OK Doc, so I know you’ve been listening to me pretty much the whole time, but I am going to need you to make sure you are really listening right now. Because if you do anything other than tell those HBO PHUCKS that me and my team are good to go, I’m gunna come back here break both of your arms and force you to sit there and watch as I bring Bruce Venture over here for her casting couch session on the couch in your office! And for the record you did this not me chief! I know people really on’t like the truth these days and wanna over look the dirty horrible shit they do but sit there and look down on me because I don’t hide what I am, and because I’m better at being a dick than most people are at anything! But on my way out Ill leave some directions to home depot with the girl who used to be your girl! But don’t worry I’m sure there are plenty of other grad students in the sea! OK cheif I’m gunna let you go now and when I do we are both gunna walk away from here nice and easy...And as long as you..
Dr. Kurt Simon: ARE YOU KIDDING ME...YOU’RE FUCKIN DONE YOU HEAR ME?...I’LL HAVE YOUR ASS BACK IN THE BINGO HALLS SO GOT DAMN>...OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SON OF A BITCH YOU BROKE MY ARM!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yup in three different places and that’s why it hurts so bad! Listen I believe my wife is coming to see you next...If you tell anyone especially her a damn word I said here I am telling you..Look at me...Doc...STOP CRYING AND LOOK AT ME...If you tell anyone a word I said to you here today I’m not playing around with you...I’ll come back here and I’ll phuckin kill you!
As soon as Johnny said that we hear his phone vibrating again and he slightly removes it from his pocket to check it and sees that it’s his wife. He3 hits the silent button and goes to put it in his pcket but then decides against it and pulls it out and actually answers it. He puts hit foot on the Doc’s head and puts his index finger over his lips telling him to SHHHHH as he looks around for any possible witnesses.
LA Johnny Stylez: Hey baby wassup!
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: Don’t you hey baby wassup me mother fucker where the hell are you?
LA Johnny Stylez: At the shrink’s office you got the memo right?
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: Yeah my appointment is in a few hours, but why has it been so hard to get in touch with you?...Look I think I know you are upset...But look just come meet me right nw and I can explain to you there is no reason for you to be upset and it’s silly really….Johnny? Baby are you there?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah I’m here sorry...The Doc and i had a slight misunderstanding is all...So B since I got ya on the horn I’m gunna need you to work that Louisiana charm on this dude cauuuseeee I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: So do you mean like Zuma and boundaries misunderstanding or…?
LA Johnny Stylez: More like a Wolf Brother’s misunderstanding….Yeah I kinda broke his arm in three places but the asshat swung at me first!
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: OK is he still alive?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yes he is still alive, he tried to punch me, I’m not gunna kill him for that I don’t think? I am thinking about seeling him into sex slavery though….*holds the phone away from his mouth and whispers...I’m just kidding….KiNDa!!!
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: Well where are you I want to see you….
LA Johnny Stylez: Still at the Doctor’s office PuNKiN!!!
Blair Buchannan-Stylez OK, well will you meet me somewhere?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah sure...Just I gotta go take care of some shit first just text me where you wanna meet and I’ll meet you there!
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: Ok baby I love you!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah...Love YoU TOO! KBYE…
I then hung up the phone and removed my 9mm I had in a holster attached to my back belt loop. I removed it threw back the hammer and pressed it to his his head as I jerked him around to make sure he was looking me straight in the face.
LA Johnny Stylez: Now look here phuck stick...Don’t say anything stupid because I will put the barrel of this gun right on your got damn knee cap and pull the trigger and believe me when I tell you that shit still hurts even after it stops hurtin ya dig?...Now if we learned anything today it was not to sit there and judge others when you are just as much of a piece of shit as you think I am. And I never have nor will I ever take shit off of some Momma’s boy like you who should be beaten in public everyday for being such a pussy chump bitch! Now if you find anything I just said confusing or confounding, take it up with my wife she said her appointment is a little later today. If you’d like I can have her just meet you in the emergency room while they take care of this arm, but if I find out you were even kinda almost rude to her I’ll see that she has to visit you in the
!!!!!F’N MoRGuE!!!!!!
...NOD IF YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!!
Ok now get the phuck outtah here!
Johnny kicked the Doctor on his ass as he ran away with his arm slumped over as he was in crucial unrelenting pain. But serves him right for gettin all up in his feelings over Johnny, all he did was what the man asked. But that’s this world for ya these days . It’s like you can almost see Johnny thinking that as he watches that wet twat of a shrink run away like a whipped bitch. Followed by a sinking feeling in his gut as he thought about what actually just happened and was momentarily struck by the notion I’m probably gunna wind up regretting that...But then again maybe not...Maybe at one point in time he would have but with the type of money power and influence he has now...There is a possibility someone would get bitten in the ass over what he just did but no one close enough to him where the blow back would do any considerable or real damage.
So Johnny just brushed it off as he hit what was left of the joint, and made his way to the truck. As per his request a small OPW camera crew had joined him in the parking lot as they had been randomly following him around shooting footage for an HBO PRIMETIME special featuring he and his wife Blair Buchannan-Stylez about the rise to power and to our place at our new home on the Home Box Office Network. Johnny signed a contract that said from now until his power suspension is up all of his match promos would be shot by the hybrid crew of HBO and OPW officals, and HBO would be able to present Stylez and a small handful of other superstars to have their promos aired on the actual HBO network as shorts and special attractions.
The other 6 superstars have yet to be named or leaked, but soon as one of them does you’ll all be the first to know. Johnny walks over and pops down the tailgate to his truck, and removes a cigarette from his pack and sparks it up. He puts his sunglasses on, and takes another drag as he leans against bed of the truck with his arms crossed glaring off into space. After a few moments he reaches in the truck and grabs a black and white stripped Hurley hat and puts it on bakwards. He puts his cigarette in his mouth takes a drag and exhales the smoke through his nostrils as he slowly begins to speak.
LA Johnny Stylez: You figured this week I would be overjoyed! Practically phuckin tap dancing to the sound of my music after marching to the beat of my own drum for better or for worse has lead us all here. I lead here and you mother phuckers
!!!!!F’N FoLLoWeD!!!!!
...And YOU KNOW WHAT...YOU’RE WELCOME!!!
Being the best isn’t easy you know?...I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s a shit ton of FUN! But it is definitely not easy. But then again in comparison to what else is out there some of you mother phuckers do my job for me! I mean one of the reasons I am able to be in the position I am in is because most of you shitbags got so lazy and started handing out top dollar for some moronz two cents that is so far off the mark from the sheer and utter art given to you by the previous generation it’s really
!!!!!F’N IN$uLTiNG!!!!!
...AND INSULT I OBVIOUSLY TOOK VERY PERSONAL!!!
And it ate at me every phucking day for eight years. I didn’t leave on my terms but I was burnt out and fed up. Cause like I said being the best aint easy especially when you had to fight as hard for it as I did! But InJu$TiCe 4 ALL boys and girls I have to say looking back over my storied career….INJUSTICE 4 ALL will go down at one of the best nights I have ever had. SO fulfilling and great, because other than Roger screwing my boy Tyler over...The Syndicate had our greatest night to date and we’ve had some great evenings here in OPW! But it was a day I have literally been waiting for for the better part of two decades. To finally deliver a blow to Vincent Wolf and his pack of smug,, self righteous, circle jerking, egomaniacal, overrated
!!!!!F’N ASSHATZ!!!!!
THAT IT FINALLY PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE!!!
Which for those of you keeping score at home is somewhere behind or beneath me! Because I was the one who waded through the muck and stuck with the business after it took that nose dive when the original circuit started to vanish and gave life to overrated shitholes like F2B. It was me who kept fighting ad trail blazing making sure that you ungrateful rat bastards even had a
!!!!F’N HOME 2 COME BACK TO!!!!!
….AND AGAIN YOU’RE F’N WELCOME
And what about all of this makes it so great? Why is it that I held onto something so petty for so long. Look you can call it petty if you want and you know what maybe that’s exactly what the phuck it is to you. But I don’t have any spare phucks to dole out on account of any of your worthless and irrelevant opinions. Because of the simple fact I can look straight into this camera and ask Vincent Wolf, VooDoo, and Damon Riggs a very rhetorical question that we all know the answer to but they wouldn’t say aloud even if they was standing in front of me! But I’ll go ahead and ask it anyway, because I want them to know it and I know they are listening right now. Because that in and of itself is the accomplishment. Part of their war on me they tried to make you believe I was still as insignificant to them as I was when they first raided the wrestling territory Jesse and I had just brought to heel. But I swore to them that they would regret the day they over looked me. ANd most of them wound up taking beatings for it towards the end there
??AINT THAT RIGHT?
MiSS MiCHeLLE, HoLDeN BoURNe, AND PAUL MONTOURI?
But no more henchmen I have made it to the M. Bison part of the game. Now when I swing, hit, connect everyone from the top all the way to the very bottom can feel it….Aint that right
???DaNe PRe$ToN???
YA STAY AT HOME FISHER PRICE PUNK BITCH!!!!
But ya know what I mean I know I brought it up, but
!!!!P.H.U.C.K. DANE PRESTON!!!!!
SOME OF YALL ARE EVEN LIKE….WHO?...EXACTLY!
ANd you are going to keep not knowing about him because we aint out here today to say anything or or about him, because I’m not in the habit of discussing people who sit at home, fold clothes and watch my product on TV! Just because he is Allison Riggs-Preston’s WIFE doesn’t make him any different from the rest of you bitches mmmmmKAY?
Anicka Swan my OPW Immortal Champion, and quite the job she has done so far right? I mean if it were me, I’d be shining so bright even the sun going down wouldn’t stop me from shining! BUt then again, it’s just you! Hopefully by now you are growing more and more jealous by the day of your FORMER PACK member Xavier. Because he finally had the balls to do what you never did...And you never actually having balls
!!!!!HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!!
YOU LACK THE GUTS AND COURAGE!!!!
You always have and from the looks of things you always will because you hitched your phuckin wagon to the only pussy in this company that’s looser than yours! So congrats you two mongrels
!!!!F’N DESERVE EACH OTHER!!!!
BUT DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION NOW???
If I don’t then wait till Myself and The Syndicate CLIMB IN THE RING AND BEAT THE BREAKS OFF OF YOU THREE PONIES! Making it back to back the greatest night of my career, because I will have beaten the OPW Immortal Champion, I will have rubbed it in the face of the two Riggs BITCHES BANNED FROM MY ARENA! I will have given Vinent Wolf another reason to toss and turn all night long, and I will have proven to Roger Wright on my first night without my rightful powers as a governing force here in OPW that whether I have the same level of power he does right now….Even without my offical OPW decision making powers, he still doesn’t
!!!!!CoMPaRE TO ME!!!!!
CAUSE HE STILL CAN’T STOP ME OR KEEP ME FROM WHATS MINE!!!
And I’m gunna climb in that ring and I’m gunna smack him around for good ole time’s sake and introduce Anicka Swan and Allison Riggs Preston to the same treatment they begged for during their tenures in CLASSLESS WRESTLING when I beat them like they stole something! And don’t worry not an ounce of empathy or sympathy from me because the beating you have comig from Myself and my other two partners is one the three of you have been working over time for! It is the message you have ignored until we left you no choice but to glare the ugly truth in the face. We have allowed you to live on our world long enough. The Pack is no longer the impenetrable force it was once known as. You bleed just like the rest of them have….And You’ll
!!!!F’N Go DoWn!!!!!
JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM HAVE AND ANICKA ALREADY DO!!!!
I have earned this by being patient, by being ready, and by being better than every last one of you! X sees it….And you have known this was coming all along you had to. The one defiant voice that no matter what always told you asshats the truth whether you accepted it as such or not. Well now I’m banging on your got damn door step serving your sorry asses a phucking EVICTION NOTICE! BECAUSE NOW I”M COMING FOR IT ALL...WHich will consequently leave you broke down over the hill Tuesdays GONE WITH THE WIND HASS BEEN WET RAG PHUCK MOOK can sit there and just let it and watch it happen..Because other than that there is only one thing left for each of you to do...And just before you bow I only require that you all take turns begging me for my forgivness that you won’t get which in my books ten times out of ten is what I mean when I tell bitches like you to
!!!!!!SoaK!!!!!!!
!!!!!!SoMe!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!UP!!!!!!!
WELCOME TO THE NEW WORLD ORDER...PRETTY SWEET HUH?
Johnny then flicks his cigarette away and hops off the talgate. He spins his hat around and pulls the bill down in his face as he flashes that trademark arrogant grin as he turns around and heads for the driverside door. Before he gets there he opens up the back door and pulls out his OPW IMMORTAL WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP BELT. He fastens it around the waist but then quickly takes it off, as he looks at the bottom and it still has Vincent Wolf’s name plate on it. He removes his pocket knife and prys it off and then kicks dirt over it as he throws it on the ground. He then gets in his truck and cranks the engine. SIGNS by CAPTIVES if heard blaring over the PA System as he throws his truck in reverse and goes flying into Dr. Kurt Simon’s mail box completely obliterating it and then driving off into the world leaving you with the usual notion that this time like all the others before it
….Has Been Your PLea$uRe
4:19
GoT
-A-
??MiNuTe??