Eph it! These are the Days of the Hangman!
Apr 26, 2020 18:06:49 GMT -5
Blair Buchannan-Stylez likes this
Post by enforcer on Apr 26, 2020 18:06:49 GMT -5
*Scene*
::The sun is shining down Enforcer as he is walking on the grounds of Southfork Ranch in Parker, Texas. Enforcer has a black on black New York Yankees hat on, black Ray Ban sunglasses, a black shirt with Erin Stone’s picture on it that has “four eyed nerd” right below her picture. Black jeans, and black Timberland Oxford Waterproof boots. Enforcer is standing on the front porch looking out at the open fields.::Enforcer:It is only fitting that I come here. Everything just aligned perfectly to where coming here was the only option. I had to come here. I had to do it! The intellectually challenged will be wondering where I am right now and why I felt compelled to come here. I’ll get to the former in a moment but why I am here is because my upcoming opponent “Hangman” Jaxson Riley. Or can I call you Alex? Is that alright with you Alex? Good, let me get the formalities out of the way. I know who you are but I haven’t introduced myself yet. My name The Enforcer, aka The Greatest Person to ever live. I am also a founding member of the most dominant force in all of OPW, despite what the Phuckin Syndicate will tell people. That is of course, Insurgence. Alex, unlike you I like to do my homework on my opponents and really get to know them. I learned that you are damn near forty years old and appear to just be breaking into the business? You also are coming into wrestling because of a chance encounter with the Phucking boss of our illustrious and infamous wrestling promotion, “The Dawn of Phony”, “The Straight Edge Alpha” himself, Johnny Stylez.
::Enforcer walks down the steps of the front porch and starts to walk out onto the sprawling fields of the vast estate before him.::
Enforcer:Alex, if you don’t know this is Southfork Ranch. This is the location where the TV show Dallas was shot during the seventies, eighties, and nineties. You know the show where JR Ewing ruled the oil fields along with the rest of the world from behind his desk. It was all done right here. Why did I feel compelled to come here? It is really quite simple. As JR was getting things done in Texas you were over in Georgia during that same time on your families farm. Unlike JR you were content living your life destatood. No father, just a single mother who you left alone to die in your barn. I wouldn’t even wish for you to be the child of Casey Anthony or Pamela Smart. Damn man, you are a shitty ass son! But I do kind of get where you were coming from seeing how much your mom liked to get around. Word around town is that you were the son of your mom’s husband who died a year before you were born. I’m not an OBGYN or have a college degree in mathematics but anyone with any kind of intelligence can see those numbers don’t quite match. Your “father” died a year, which is twelve months before you were born? I’m not sure what kind of math they teach out there in the boonies of Georgia but that kind of hick math doesn’t add up. The common pregnancy lasts nine months. So, we are seeing a lot of ho tendencies from your mom.
::Enforcer shrugs his shoulders.::
Enforcer:I don’t know man, I don’t know. Just pointing some things out.You know, you can always get a DNA test instead of getting mad at your mom for getting her womanly needs met and keeping the truth to herself for the sake of her reputation.But hey, the hillbilly way is to do things ass backwards anyway so what’s the harm in sticking to the fairy tale life that you wrote for yourself. Admit it, Alex, you carry your emotional childhood scars like a badge of honor, don’t you? That just goes to show me that you are truly a weak minded sycophant just like the eight to five lifers who come to the arenas who have the audacity to boo Insurgence, like we’ve done something wrong. The cretinous humanoids that fill our audiences every night have proven that they are ill equipped to handle having their own opinions. That is why they need to keep their mouth shut and stay in their place. Yet their incompetence to follow that one simple rule befuddles me and shows all of Insurgence that they are no better then the Wolves. Nothing more than a flock of sheep.
::Enforcer casually walks over to the barn and he steps inside the barn::
Enforcer:Look familiar, Alex? I hope it does. While it’s not the exact barn your mom kicked the bucket in it is nonetheless still a barn. I hope it brings up some raw emotions for you because the emotion going on in here smells like shit.
::Enforcer turns around and walks out of the barn.::
Enforcer:I didn’t have to go into the barn for any reason but to see if it rattled your cage, Alex. Are you truly strong enough Alex? Strong enough to put the misery of your past behind you or continue to live your life with the chip on your shoulder like an emo chick who has a pity party problem? I think you will continue to be that emo bitch trying to find a way to fill the void of never being wanted by your parents. Save the world some trouble Alex. Go make your bull rope into a necktie and see if you can levitate.
::Enforcer chuckles to himself.::
Enforcer:I am being asked what is going on with Insurgence. You guys don’t look like a cohesive unit. Blah, Blah, Blah!!! What would any of you tag along smarks know what is going on Insurgence? If you want to go see a group of egomaniacs bicker like they are on Days of Our Lives go over to the Phucking Syndicate. “The Dawn of STD’s” Johnny “has no” Stylez lives for infighting and his groups crumbling apart before accomplishing anything. I saw it in mVw fifteen years ago. I heard it from Damon early in my career when he and The Unbreakablez were dominating every other faction in wrestling. Keep those betrayals going with the revolving door of people in the group going. By next week they’ll have dropped half the people in the stable and will bring in Miss Michelle, Damien Dunn, and Paul Monotouri. That’s just how it is, right Johnny? While the Phucking Syndicate makes The Sopranos look like a loving family who has Sunday Night dinner with each other every week. Any Syndicate member thinking about watching the movie “Knives Out” I wouldn’t because you’ll all kill each other. Phuckin Syndicate:They put the pH in Phuckin.But hey it will make our lives in Insurgence just that much easier. Hey “Loose Anus” Johnny “Not so” Stylez, Insurgence will be watching your six man tag team match very closely. Hell we might just come watch it from ringside.
::Enforcer walks out the front gate of the ranch.::
Enforcer:Alex, I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe you have figured out that you are in over your head. The fact of the matter you aren’t even a speed bump in my efforts to become one half of the World Tag Team champions. You are lucky to be a pebble on the ground in Insurgence’s quest to be the most dominating force in not only OPW but all of professional wrestling.
::Enforcer’s cell phone rings. Enforcer takes his cell phone out of his pocket. He sees “Man Whore” come up on his scream. Enforcer answers the phone.::
Enforcer:Dammit Maddox, I hope you haven’t gotten married again. You do know poligamy is in fact illegal.
Maddox:I don’t think it’s illegal in Utah.
Enforcer:Touche, Michael.
Maddox:Those cult leaders seem to have wives in the double digits.
Enforcer:You’ve got to be at least half way there.
Maddox:That’s enough from you. I am your leader.
Enforcer:Yes, Jim. You got it, Mr. Jones. I’ll let you know when someone other than my wife can tell me what to do.
Maddox:I won’t hold my breath. You got the itinerary for the trip, right?
Enforcer:Don’t worry I got.
Maddox:Good. We just got into San Antonio.
Enforcer:Great! I went on a field trip. I’ll be back there in a couple hours.
::Enforcer hangs up the phone.::
Enforcer:Alex, I am not sorry to have to break this up to you but your career in OPW will not get off the ground. You just had the unfortunate luck of having to look at the greatest person across the ring in your debut match. Those are the Phucking breaks. Deal with it, bitch!