Post by lajohnnystylez on May 4, 2020 8:00:37 GMT -5
….MANNNNNNNNNN
...This shit here is phucking DePRe$$iNG!!! Saturday Night and the only got damn party going on on Bourbon Street, in the French Quarter, down town in the gem of the South New Orleans, Louisiana was the one at OUTLAWZ which took damn near an ACT of God for me to throw. But we had finally made it! Don’t get me wrong mother phuckerz because as you saw for your phuckin selves at SHOWCa$e this past week this war I started is far from phucking over. As a matter of fact as far as that shit is concerned the
!!!!!!F’N 1st SHoTZ HaVE BeeN FiReD!!!!!!
BuT YoU WeT RaGZ AINT SEEN WAR YET!!!
No we have yet to have the first official battle of this war, but believe me when I tell you that shit is coming and will wash over Outlaw Pro Wrestling like a got damn plague when it happens. And that never really occurred to me until I saw HIM! I’m not going to play coy I’ll come out and phucking say it. The moment Damon “Havok” Riggs walked through the curtain IN MY PHUCKING WRESTLING COMPANY UNINVITED MIND YOU and walked into MY PHUCKIN RING LIKE HE OWNED THE MOTHER PHUCKER! That no good, self righteous, prissy prima donna
Because lemme tell ya this...When I saw Damon Rigg’s face walk through the curtain. When I heard all of those numskulls that make up the population of Roger Wright’s backwoods hometown. Sure I was FURIOUS, I was even a little shocked. But one thing I was more than any of the others combined was believe it or not
I know right! I found that odd to! Like it bothered me, a lot I won’t lie. But I guess the most sense I can make of it is, I have literally been struggling my entire life. Now in this business that is the only true home I have ever phucking known, I have been battling with these phuckin asshats for pretty much all of it! Right when I got to the point where I was a WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, Damon Riggs and his lot swooped through my home federation like a plague and left it for dead after they chewed it up and spit it out like they did countless other wrestling promotions back then! Those phuckin ungrateful shitbags didn’t appreciate nothin! Not the talent they had nor the clout that they carried. In all honesty the only thing I ever wanted was validation, which I knew deep down I’d never phuckin get because the entire time I refused...Let me say that once more I
Because I knew one day I’d flip the script on them and they’d be kissing mine...And one by one they all have save for four of them! And they all presently work for me so add that shit up and tell me what you get huh? Yet oddly enough the validation I had always been looking for from them I finally phuckin got it last week on SHOWCA$E the moment Damon Riggs got on the stick and announced to the world that he had come back to settle this account personally. He was coming back for one more run. He didn’t give it to me specifically but his appearance said everything I ever needed to know! SO surprise I guess it is true after all...So SOAK SOME UP AMERICA because you can all tell your friends that tonight LA Johnny Stylez added MYTH BUSTA to his already long and accomplished RESUME, when he proved once and for all that
Because finally I had done something that commanded their attention, Damon Riggs has decided to blow the dust off his wrestling trunks and come down to lil ole OPW to grace us with his pressence!
But who the phuck am I kiddin huh? You could take that got damn bridge they got in Brooklyn and throw it on the end of the big one they got in San Fran, and still wouldn’t be the required length for Damon Riggs to walk on so that he may do the human race the only kindess he could ever truly give it, which would be to GET THE PHUCK OVER HIMSELF! But oddly enough the words that kept ringing in the back of my mind weren’t any that fell out of that ASSHAT’s mouth. No it was when I saw Xavier a few days after SHoWCa$e had gone off the air. He decided to take the window washer’s lift up to the top of a very tall building and made himelf a door when there wasn’t one. NOt exactly in the way most civil engineers would approve but he got in so, whatever. But before our impromptu meeting ended and we were on the subject of the return of one of the founding fathers of the Wolfpack, to see where he was about it I asked if he was afraid now that Damon was back because he knew just as well as I did that Damon’s return is an entirely different game now. Xavier paused ever so briefly before he answered my question with a question which is one of my moves but that wasn’t important. What was important was what he asked me...
I keep coming back to that! My new found accomplice Xavier Wolf posed that question to be after probably the most unnecessary gran entrance of all time. He sure pissed those painters off somethin fierce though so that made it worth it in and of itself...And please like I am going to ever get mad at someone over a got damn broken window! I’ve broken so many windows glass is afraid of me!
Voice: HAHAHAHAHA oh my goodness stop….You are so silly sometimes! Do you even hear the shit that comes out of your mouth Johnny?
I finish lining up my shot, I found this set of Golf clubs in the lost and found earlier and the cocksucker had almost two hundred golf balls in this bitch, so after I gave the toast at the private Syndicate celebration that featured almost 40% of my BRAZZERS staff that hasn’t been able to work due to all the social distancing. So a private party where the ratio definitely favored estrogen put most of them in a room with a bunch of porn stars who have been sexually starved for almost two months now! If I don’t win boss of the year then the got damn game is
…..But I digress. A moment ago you heard the soft voice of the other half of the Outlaw Pro Wrestling Immortal World Tag Team Champions Le’Andra Fury. I have to admit she isn’t exactly the worst company even if TinkerBell is fluttering about chiming in answering her questions for her most of the time! (especially if it’s me that asks them.) I don’t take it personally because her Mother informed me that she pays him to be protective, and that he is...Like a little gay pomeranian puppy nippin at some jerks heels when he is trying to stay over and bang. But with that Chan didn’t need to worry about all that with me. I was married and she was with X, plus she isn’t really my type. But she is cool as shit so I’ll give her that SO anyway I lined up the driver with the neon green golf ball I rared back and then swung the golf club as hard as I could and much to my surprise it connected with the ball and we watched it sail over the rooftop of the pitiful Ricks Cabert across the street which USED to be the best strip club on Bourbon Street until I came in here with my Brazzers girls and well suffice to say they aint been doin so hot since then...But
Le’Andra Fury: OK it’s my turn!
LA Johnny Stylez: Absolutely not! Because see the object is to get the ball over the roofs because if you smash one of the windows across the street well that just against the code of unspoken ethics amongst us Bourbon Street business owners!
Le’Andra Fury: What happened to windows being afraid of Johnny Stylez..HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH
LA Johnny Stylez: What? That’s very much a true story you can laugh it up all you want! But see those windows directly ahead of you?
Le’Andra Fury: Yeah of course I see them they are right there!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah well those windows are absolutely petrified of you and your lack of GOLF SKILLS!
Le’Andra Fury: Well how do you know I’m not Ms. Tiger Woods..
LA Johnny Stylez: You’re right forgive me….Please the floor is yours Ms. Tag Team Champion tell the entire class about your expert golf game.
Voice: Does put-put count? And even if it does don’t let her lie to ya, she sucks at that shit too!
Suddenly her husband Xavier Wolf made his way out onto the roof where we were. It wasn’t hard to find once you walked into my office and stuck your head out of the open window and saw the fire escape.
LA Johnny Stylez: Whats up man….You didn’t wanna take the Washa-Vator?
Xavier Wolf: Shit I wish that aint a fire escape I just climbed up its a damn death trap! Anyway what in the hell are you guys doin up here?
Le’Andra Fury: Well Johnny found golf clubs so we are playin golf..
X looks at the bag of clubs and sees there is another driver. I walk over to the black bag and unzip the top zipper. I remove two silver cigar cases and remove what smells like relatively new Cuban cigars. I offer one to X and he takes it. He smells it and starts patting his pockets and then starts to dig into the bag. He looks up and sees me cupping my hand and trying to light it with my 4:19 zippo lighter. He then reaches out and slaps it out of my hand. The lighter smacks the ground as I look up at him with my jaw on the ground…
LA Johnny Stylez: THE PHUCK BRUH???
Le’Andra’s eyes raise as X glares at me with disbelief and disdain as he holds up a box of strike anywhere matches.
Xavier Wolf: Were you raised in a got damn barn? Watch you uncultured ASS...This is how you are supposed to light this...Just stand there and act like you’ve got some sense, but Le and I know way better!
They share a laugh as I use the golf club to bring me another golf ball. X takes his sweet time lighting that thing, but finally gets it lit by the time I slam another neon green ball over the roof of Rick’s and we sit in silence as we listen to it smack against something metal bounce off something else and then straight through a glass window somewhere two blocks over. X hands me the cigar and then grabs the driver from me and lines himself out a ball.
Xavier Wolf: If you brought her up here to try and talk her into siding with you the next time you try to kill me I’m afraid you are in for a disappointment!
LA Johnny Stylez: X….You gotta get over that crap DooD!
Xavier Wolf: YOU TRIED TO HAVE ME KILLED YOU SHIT!
LA Johnny Stylez: Nu-uh!
Xavier Wolf: YES HUH! TWICE! I mean John I wish I could trust you sometimes! But you are a piece of shit, and pieces of shit will always do piece of shit things, so that is actually the only thing I will ever truly trust about you! But that shit is on you! Wasn’t always this way now was it?
LA Johnny Stylez: No I suppose not! But without getting back into it and reopening old wounds, what choice did you leave me? You took over that Bike Club faster than anyone in any recorded Bike Gang history. Le it took this phuckin asshat nearly seven months to become the Club’s CHief! To put it into perspective...It took him five months to get his cut and his patch!
Le’Andra Fury: How in the hell did you pull that off?
X measured his shot then swung the driver backwards and then with all of his strength swung it forward and perfectly nailed the ball and it went sailing over Ricks. We sat in silence as we heard nothing but the sound of glass breaking and some angry troll of a human being scream
GAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDD DAMNNNNNITTTTT
Everyone chuckled as X tossed the the driver back in the set of clubs, and grabbed the bottle of Jameson that was next to Le’Andra’s foot. It was half empty. X takes a swig and then looks at the bottle that was about a quarter full now. As he looks up at me and asks….
Xavier Wolf: Don’t tell me this is all you two assholes brought up here?!?
I smirk arrogantly as I remove my platinum cigarette case that didn’t hold cigarettes in it, and removed a tightly rolled joint and motioned with my head for X to check the zipper on the long side of the bag, which he did, and unzipped it to find fresh unopened bottles of Belvedere vodka, Pyrat Rum, and then my personal favorite a fresh unopened bottle of Johnny Walker BLACK. X sees this and drops the now empty bottle of Jameson and it shatters into a million pieces on the ground. He unscrews the cap and takes a swig as he sits down behind Le’Andra and passes the bottle to me. Now again I don’t drink much but like I was tryin to tell you mother phuckers on the otherside of this got damn 4th wall it’s a special got damn occasion.
Xavier Wolf: Holding out on me Johnny?
LA Johnny Stylez: Now if I was doing that would I have told you where it was?
Xavier Wolf: John I think the one thing I like about you is the same thing that I think I hate about you the most. You never really know what you are going to do and why you even do it before it’s way too late! But rest assured it is always in your best interest, so for all I know you put the shit in there on purpose!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah maybe! You know a few moments ago you said you wish you could trust me, and I have to admit between us three while we sit up here passing these bottles around, I have to admit that I agree I wish we could trust one another. But one thing I learned a long ass time ago was that ultimately you can only trust yourself especially in this business and ironically the same is true about the dozens of other businesses I am linked to now, so it can be headache inducing. But X when we made this last little arrangment of ours, don’t think me stupid...I know just as well as you do there is an experation date on it. I can only hope and pray that we both accomplish what we set out to before that day arrives! And for what it’s worth I always hired the third best hitman to go after ya because I didn’t really want you dead. I just needed you to know that whats mine is MINE….Even if you did help me get it!
But some of us weren’t fortunate to grow up in life or in this business under the protection of one of the hardest hitting families in the good ole US of A….AsK Me HoW I KNoW!!! And up until recently l always saw it as doing it to you before you could do it to me. I grew up in an orphanage about twelve blocks that way, so the concept of family is a relatively unknown one to me, but I know that the bonds as much as we wish them not to be are more times often than not unbreakable. It wasn’t until recently I understood why your….uhhh”disagreement” with your family was one that lined up with my own plans and desires and therefore making us perfect business partners. SO while you say Xavier you wish you could trust me, not only is that my wish as well, but I wish this all of it was real. And that I wasn’t sitting up here admitting things to people I know sooner or later will be my enemies again because I don’t have anyone else to really admit them to!
LeAndra Fury: But John…
LA Johnny Stylez: No, no….It’s ok.Like I just said I know what I’m doin I am well aware of what I’m sayin and who I am sayin it to. But tonight is tonight...And tonight we aren’t turning on each other, and this is a party I really threw for you two...So what do you say we enjoy it?...Ohh and X I did put those bottles in their pn purpose! From what I recall your favorite drink used to be…
Johnny/Xavier: ALCOHOL!
LA Johnny Stylez: SO that’s what I brung yaz! But listen before I leave yas up here to your own devices...Let me answer your question from eariler X...No I’m not stupid enough to not be afraid of Damon, but I aint about to let me him walk in here and take over like I promise you he is sitting somewhere else in the world right now making sure his head still fits in his asshole after all these years. Even if he owns a piece of this company bought and paid for...I SAY NO HE PHUCKIN DOESN’T AND I WILL SPEND EVERY LAST RESOURCE, BIT OF ENERGY AND LAST BREATHE IF THAT’S WHAT IT TAKES, sending him out of here back to wherever it is he came from wishing to God he never even thought about coming back to the ring...And anyone who stands in between me and that will get the exact same treatment he will! You two enjoy your evening I’m sure we will speak at one point or another. But Le…
Le’Andra Fury: Yeah hun?
LA Johnny Stylez: I’m sure X already told you this just as I’m sure you don’t need to be told, but Vin is going to be super pissed. He is going to be more focused on sending a message to X and hurting you and me to be on the same page as Roger. Now Roger and I have our problems there is no secret in that. But we will use their divided front against them. Because while they may not be arguing or bickering...They aren’t communicating and they aren’t on the same page. And with Damon back that isn’t going to last very long so we need to exploit it while we can. Because if we walk out with these tag belts Monday night it will send a huge statement to their camp knowing that PHUCKING with us has just as many if not more consequences than it does to phuck with them. Because OPW belongs to me...I mean us!
Xavier Wolf: No you don’t!
LA Johnny Stylez: Sure I do...tonight anyway! Yall enjoy your evening! Le I’ll see you in the morning so we can get that tag finisher down...We hit it pretty good the first time, but if you would have just let him come to you insetad of jumping for him, right this very moment Vin would be forced to drink his eat his meals through a straw and we wouldn’t be forced to hear anything he has to say for 3-6 months!
Le’Andra Fury: Johnny Stylez wants to meet the morning after a drug and alcohol freak fest? Yeah X babe I believe he is telling the truth he must be scared!
Xavier Wolf: Good to know he’s not dumb enough not to be!
LA Johnny Stylez: Look I guess what I'm trying to tell both of you is this... Now just fricken hear me out here...I know right now if I say you can trust me both of you will scoff like you have every time I have tried to do so before. But I'm telling you right here and right now everything and anything I have done was to lead us all here! When you look at everything we have accomplished us together in such a small amount of time, think about what we could do over the span of a year, five....TEN! it was all a matter of assembling the right team...And I think I have done that. I have tried to screw you over in the past X...But those days are over, and if I have to earn your trust fine...But know I am willing to do what it takes to build a long lasting legacy here...And if you are with that and you are with me then I got your back and I will go to war with you...Because make no mistake about it people that is precisley what we are finna be smack dab in the middle of...And the only chance we have of winning it is if we work together and trust each other! SO think it over and lemme know what you decide because we can't win without it...SO if we are all just wasting our time I'd like to avoid getting my ass kicked by your phuckin family as a result of it! Cause in life my friends there are only two ways of doing things...THE RIGHT WAY...AND AGAIN...And I don't think we are going to get another shot...Not one as good as we have right now today to build something for ourselves...So I'm in if you guys are...You guys talk it over and enjoy your evening...We can talk shop tomorrow...Le...X...
Xavier Wolf: Johnny
Le'Andra Fury: Good night Johnny!
Xavier takes the bottle of Johnny Walker from Johnny as they had been passing it back and fourth the entire time. Johnny flashes his trademark arrogant smirk after Xavier says what he just did. He then turns and starts to head for the death trap of a fire escape and go back inside to his own party to see if everyone was behaving themselves and if they were get them to cut that shit out PRONTO! We can see from the camera angle X standing up and removing the driver from the bag of golf clubs they were using earlier and him convincing Le’Andra to let him show her how to do it. Before he takes a step down off the roof Johnny sees this and calls back to them.
LA Johnny Stylez: HEY FURY!!! OVER THE ROOF NOT THROUGH IT!
Xavier Wolf: You go worry about bossman shit, I’ve got this under control John!
LA Johnny Stylez: Of course you do Mr. Wolf….Of course you do!
We see X wrap his big muscular arms around his wife and tries to show her how to move her body when swinging a golf club. She seems like she could care less as she kept pressing her lips to his cheek and nibbling wherever she could. X finally gets her to pay attention and then backs away to let Le’Andra take her shot. We see Le’Andra take a practice swing, and then like Babe Ruth points to where the ball was going to go. Her and X share a laugh on the roof as they made some obvious “THAT’S NOT GOLF” as she lines up swings the club back, and then she swings forward and immediately as the club makes impact with the ball, the camera switches to Johnny who is fixing to climb into the window of his office when we hear
Johnny stops as the sound of the glass that broke sounded like it came from across the street as he can hear Le’Andra who had a little too much to drink and perhaps a little too much to smoke FREAKING OUT up on the roof while X tried to calm her down. Johnny laughs it off as the only thing we are able to make out of them saying up there is…”Next time Babe, make sure the ball goes through the window and not the club! Because you didn’t even come close to hitting that fucking ball...Like not even close…”YES I DID...NO LOOK IT’S RIGHT THERE! Johnny shakes his head looks at the camera like Zack Morris and chuckles to himself before disappearing inside.
He is walking downstairs as he sees he made it back just in time for the wet t-shirt contest featuring Ava Adams, Bridgette B, Brooklyn Chase, Jayden James, Rachel Roxx, Ricki Raxxx, Mason Moore, and Madison Ivy who were on opposite sides of the stage...He walks over to the bar where tattoed hot sexy mamma Karma Rx is tending the bar along with her manslave INKT who swore her his sword the moment she came into the bar the first time earlier today. Karma was the actual bartender while Inkt took his role as “bar back” a little too literally, but he let Karma pull him around on a leash so she got a kick out of it. I walk down to the bar and immediately Karma fixes up a Moscow Mule. She squeezes the lime in copper ABSOLUTE promo cup they dropped off for us to specifically use when we made those and I threw a 20 on the table for her to keep.
I then removed another joint from my platinum cigarette case that didn’t carry cigarettes and I turned in my bar stool and walked toward the exit. I took a step outside and still found myself struggling to believe I was actually on Bourbon Stret. It was almost scary seeing it like this. It almost felt like we were the last humans alive on the planet. And as that thought crept into my mind i turned and looked at Ava Adams and Ricki Raxxx trying to draw the biggest reaction to see who went home with the $20,000 and the huge BRAZZERS Championship belt I had made specifically for this event, and laughed cause hey I wouldn’t be too upset if that was the case.
Then finally I see the bumbling idiots I hired as a camera crew to come shoot the party and my verbal raping of Le’Andra and my opponents this week coming around the corner. They stop soon as they get to the part of the window where you cn see straight through to the stage and then all of a sudden they stop and start crowding around the window like they weren’t fixing to be able to just walk in and watch it up close and personal….And like I said these girls have been sexually starved for two months and I pretty much invited them to an all you can eat DICK BUFFET!
I whistle pretty loudly and one of them damn near puts his head through the window as you would have thought I caught one of these jerk offs jerkin off. But I motioned with my head we were gunna be shooting my bit first and down the street. So I walked over to Rick’s where there was broken glass all over the street and I removed the driver from the window as I heard Le’Andra on the roof freaking out thinking I was fixing to get pissed. I heard a SORRRY JOHNNY!!! As I looked up and saw her looking over the side of my building worried. I just smirked shook my head and waved back. X then pulls her away and I slung the club over my shoulders and began walking down the streets that are usually crowded everyday all day.
Once the camera crew joins me towards the middle of the street near TROPICAL ISLE where they make the infamous “Hand Grenade” drinks I flick my joint away and remove the NEWPORT cigarette I had behind my ear, cupped my hands and light it. I took a drag and then looked down the dark street to my left and then down the one on my right then into the camera and began to speak slowly at first, but with every bit of conviction I had in me...Because tonight I was feeling a bit HONEST...What does that mean?....Well if you’d shut the phuck up already you can see for yourselves! So take your shoes off CLoSe YoUR CaWK SuCKeR and LiSTeN WHILST I DRoP THiS KnOwLeDgE On YA AS ONLY I CAN DO!!!!
LA Johnny Stylez….Being the
What does it even mean? So many of us that have come and gone have laid claim to that very thing. Yet how many out of the countless voices some worthy most NOT SO MUCH. But what does it truly mean to be the best? To transcend one’s peers and remain constant, to see Main Event after Main Event….To not even need The Immortal or World Heavyweight Championship for your peers to know who and what you are. All of those are characteristics of what I’m talking about but none of them stand alone as the lone reason why I am and always have been
But I’ll go ahead and skip the spoiler alert notice and just go ahead and tell you it’s a trick question. What makes someone...ME THE ABSOLUTE BEST TO EVER PLAY THIS GAME isn’t any one thing it’s a collection of many things over a span of two decades. I wasn’t always the best but I always knew I would become it one day! And while most of you phucking nerds sit behind a computer screen in the computer room at your mom’s house or whatever domicile you dwell in where the only time you ever get laid is when you take matters “in your own hands” so to speak, you can debate what’s not really a debate all you’d like. But sooner or later you will have to face the truth And it doesn’t even really matter which one of you says it, but the first one of you that says my name is the only one of you that is not completely and utterly
And one day you will find that in other books and documents you go to when you want to look up facts about whatever subject. And it will be here where I finish off the rest of the legendary legacy that has been my professional wrestling career! And do you know how I was able to accomplish such a thing? By facing those that thought they deserved to call themselves what I have been calling myself since the first time I picked up a live mic in front of a live audience. And one by one and in some instances even two by two I have put every phucking one of them down. Like Taj Escobar told yall a few weeks ago, I have lost my share of battles. But the DoN oF Di$Re$PeCT has NEVER...Let me say that one more time so that hopefully it sticks or at the very least finally sinx in….I HAVE
...And if you phucking MoRoNZ think that is fixing to change here on my own personal battlefield then most of you asshats are as phuckin stupid as I say you are...And lemme just go ahead and tell ya that’s phuckin sayin somethin! But that’s also why I don’t really sweat the decree that Sam Laramie made months ago when he went behind my back and had the board declare that I may never challenge for the OPW Immortal Championship unless directly challenged by the Champion, because I know that if anyone who wears that title for any period of time ever wants to call themself the best wrestler in the world and have anyone with any understanding of who and what this business is about then they may not do so until they have pinned my shoulders to the mat, knock me out cold, or force me to slap the mat in submission. Which most of the asshats who are here and close to the top in OPW now can tell ya takes more than a
Yet despite the edict...I still stand before you a CHAMPION. Around my waist as we speak here is one half of the Outlaw Pro Wrestling Immortal Tag Team Championships! But that’s what I’m trying to tell ya. Even if I wasn’t wearing the title...Phuck it even if Le’Andra and I weren’t the Champs...You people would still turn this promo on and sit there trying to tread water in your own hate as you despise the fact that you know deep down and it eats you alive that the greatest of all time is a got damn asshole
Not a single one of you knows how to make big BIGGER, how to take ordinary and make it EXTRAordinary, how to turn BEST to BETTER than The PaRaGoNA oF AMeRiKaNa! You wanna say or think that I’m not what I say I am because I don’t have that likeable fan friendly attitude that Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzsky, Babe Ruth had during their respective runs in their respective lines of work. But like I said I may be cut from the same cloth but there is no one like me and I quite frankly don’t think I should hide or be humble about it. There is no good reason to do it...Hell the only reason they did it was so that you would say what they already knew. Being humble is bullshit and it’s only a social trick that gets played on sheep like you! I have the balls to just come out and say it, and if anyone stands up and doubts me I hit them so bad that the next time they say anything is six months down the road when they remove the got damn
But again I know some of you are wondering what in the phuckin phuck does that have to do with The Main Event of ShowCase this week when Le’Andra and I defend the OPW Immortal Tag Team Titles against Roger Wright and Vincent Wolf? And I’m here to tell ya it has
That is what Roger and My rivalrly has been about since day one. It is the only thing between us that causes so much animosity because Roger wishes he was and likes to pretend he is the best, and well I just am, and I’ve got the track record and wins and losses to prove it. Because Mr. Wright while you will sit here and lie to yourself and these people about your record against me, let’s look at a few of those things you go out of your way to avoid called
Because the fact is you hold two key victories over me. One was in the TerrorDome...The other was out first one on one encounter at Annihilation the following month. But let’s look at that first one for a moment huh? Because TerrorDome...Was it just you and me in there? Did you pin my shoulders to the mat to win the NEW TItle? DID you make me submit? Knock me out COLD? THe answer to those questions is the same answer you come to again and again when you lie awake at night thinking of ways to one up me on television when you whisper silently to yourself….
No you aren’t better than me and no you never will be and you never were to begin with! Because yes while technicalities of pro wrestling matches state that you defeated me in the TerrorDome, because I was one of the other 6 participants in the match and you were the only winner..We both know you won that match because I was a bit preoccupied writing some other wrong. Now Annihilation I will not sit here and make any excuses there is no asterisk or parentheses around that situation. On that night you defeated me. I went for a knock out move you moved out of the way jumped up and dropped my stupid ass right on my face in what I still consider to this day the most humiliating soul sucking defeat of my entire career! But anyone who knows about me and you know how the story goes from there right? Because it wasn’t even six months later that we met again for the NEW World Championship and just like every single time you and I stepped into a ring with one another since then
Because again Roger here are those pesky little facts comin back around to bite you in the ass, because yes you bought into my world through back door deals and trickery...But even that tells you everything you need to know. Because you bought into my world bitch I DIDN’T BUY INTO YOURZ! And one of these days Roger we are going to climb in that ring you and me….And we will settle this debate once and for all, because on that day Roger I won’t stop! I won’t stop until you are on your cocksucking knees SCREAMING AS LOUD AS YOU CAN FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE EARTH TO THE TIPPY TOP OF THE HEAVENS THAT THE DON OF DISRESPECT IS, WAS AND ALWAYS F’N WILL BE
Which brings us to your new friends...more specifically your tag team partner! You think I’m bad, HA! I really don’t understand how you can say anything you have ever said about me in a negative light and then sit around those self absorbed pubic hairs! Wait yes I do! You do it because you drink the same Kool-Aid they do, not to mention the Immortal Champion Anicka Swan polishing your knob every night before bed. Which I’ll be the first to tell you from what I’ve seen over the years if the Government knew of her talents in terms of brain washing men to do, think, or say certain things then she’d be blowing
And despite her natural defense mechanism to sit there and make you think I’m being unoriginal or cliche by calling her a whore, let me be clear that’s not what I’m doing...Even though that is precisely what she is...Don’t believe me? Ask Xavier Wolf why he is cuddled up next to Le’Andra Fury instead of HER! Or better yet Rodg….Why don’t you ask Anicka...although just a piece of bro advice maybe wait until your dick is out of her mouth before you ask huh? Right! But look make no mistake about it, Ani is as tough as they come. And so far she has proven herself worthy of being the OPW Immortal Champion. But let’s be frank about something her up coming title defense against Xavier Wolf is her first actual test, as Donnie McVay and Abdul Bin Hassan who as far as I have seen isn’t exactly the wrestler he was when I first saw him. But still like I said am saying and will continue to say until you phuckin self righteous SHITKICKERZ get it through your phucking
And at the end of the day YOU ALL...THE OUTLAW PRO WRESTLING ROSTER VOTED HER IN AT WRESTLECADE BECAUSE YOU SAW HER WRESTLE ONLY ONE MATCH...NOW PRETEL WHO WAS THAT MATCH AGAINST? THAT’s right! So she was voted in among countless others who at that point had more matches then she did. But she only needed the one because her one match her one victory was worth more than everyone else's matches and victories PUT TOGETHER….So add that shit up and tell me what it EQUALZ….Put your got damn pencils and calculators down I’ll go ahead and tell ya right now for free..The answer is
Now fate gave victory to Anicka Swan the last time she and I met, but that is because I bit on the past. I made one simple mistake and I played her game, and it cost me...Just barley but it cost me. If she and I were to ever meet in a one on one scenario again especially if it was for the OPW Immortal Championship I’d hit her so phucking hard and drop her so quick she’d wake up back at the Wolf Compound five years ago listening to VooDoo tell her the story about the time she had her booty cherry BUSTED BY
Because they say you should learn from every defeat and failure and on that night the second episode of ShowCase where Anicka Swan was able to pin my shoulders to the mat for that fateful three seconds that lead her down the path she is currently on today. I learned something that will save me from ever losing to one of these MONGREL WOLVES EVER AGAIN! Because one thing you’ll notice that they all have in common from Anicka, Damon, ARP, Vincent...ALL OF THEM! They want to bring up the exact same shit...They want to talk about who I was when they first met me...Which you should be able to at least tell them I am no longer! The next time Vincent Wolf says LA Johnny Stylez is void of any talent, you Roger Wright should reach over and
To say that is just irresponsible and silly! When Vincent Black first met and defeated LA Johnny Stylez I was a wet behind the ears kid who just shot his mouth off all the time at everything. But his refusal to accept or see that the man who stands as his nemesis now is not that man that he knew then is precisley why Tuesday morning he will wake up and LA Johnny Stylez along with Le’Andra Fury will still
Because while Anicka likes to sing her song about how I wanted to get in them guts once upon a time, and Vin and Damon will sit here and tell you bedtime stories about when Johnny Stylez was nothing more than an irritating nuisance while they battled the big bad Montouris or some other nameless asshat that no one cares to remember because those phucking mongrels you have fallen in line with Roger burnt every castle they ever conquered! And the only reason people know they are a big deal now is because I
But they were wrong then just like they are now! And that isn’t even the real reason you Roger Wright and you Vincent Black are going home EMPTY F’N HANDED TOMORROW! No the reason you are going home empty handed is because Vincent Wolf didn’t even bother to take the time or make the effort to show Roger he felt he was an equal. You two aren’t facing Le’Andra and I as a team! You are facing us as Roger Wright and Vincent Wolf. And while the two of you think that ought to be good enough I’m here to tell you that
Because Le’Anra Fury is every bit as good as those knob gobbling women yall run around with! She has every bit of talent they do if not more because she doesn’t have all the tread on the tires so to speak! And Le’Andra and I will go into that match united and working as a team, because we are the CHAMPIONS and we know that a loss invites HOPE...and we both know that it is in our best interest to crush any signs of that right out of the gate. Because like I said earlier the shots have been fired...We are officially at WAR, and if you mouth breathers are to have any hope of surviving it then you are going to need a whole
And you accept that I am the most dangerous man in the history of this business. Because I will stop at nothing, I will step on anyone, I will destroy everything you hold dear and love in this world in the name of getting what I want. And what I phucking want is to walk down to that ring on Monday Night ShowCa$e and force you two uncohesive, misinformed , soon to be defeated DOUCHE BAG DICK HEADS to
Johnny nods at the guy who is supposed to be the director so he knows to yell CUTTTTTTTT. Johnny then flicks his cigarette away and reaches in his back pocket and pulls out his phone. He also removes his half of the OPW IMMORTAL TAG TEAM TITLES as he looks at them. He then looks up at the roof and notices that it got kind of quiet up there. Johnny then motions for someone off camera to bring him something. One of the stage hands walks over and hands him a pineapple. Johnny then takes a piece of paper out of the guys hand along with the pen he was holding and then spins the guy around so he can use his back to write on the paper. On the paper he writes A FRIENDLY REMINDER TO ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX!!!) Johnny then takes the note presses it against the pineapple and puts the rubber band over it. Johnny then walks back closer to OUTLAWS and throws it as hard as he can and it makes it onto the roof. We hear someone scream WHAT THE FUCK...Then we wait a few seconds….Until we hear a voice scream once again….FUCK YOU JOHNNNNYYYYYY…. Johnny then takes out his phone and pulls up Le’Andra’s name and sends her a text message that we are able to read in subtitles while he is typing it.
Didn’t get to finish our CONVO FROM EARILER...What I was trying to tell you was That as long as we hold these titles you can count on me as a partner. I would say you can trust me which you can but I know your husband and everyone else has warned you not to do so. But I’m telling you I love being a CHAMPION and I LOVE OPW...And I will destory anyone who tries to take it from me. And if you feel the same way you will meet me in the morning and we will work on being the better team because that is the only way we defeat those two MONGRELS who think themselves WOLVES! But this is our time now...And I know both of us have come to far to let them take what we have earned now! So you see we have more in common than you think! Enjoy your night...See you in the morning...Tell X there is a knife in the golf bag if you guys want some fresh pineapple after….Well you get it...GOOD NIGHT! Ohhh and before I forget...Make sure you don’t forget
...It’s Been YOUR PLea$uRE
P.S. CHAN was doing the WORM after the WET T-SHIRT contest...Came up and when he went down fell right into Ava Adam's boobs....And if he isn't dead then he had a heart attack!
...This shit here is phucking DePRe$$iNG!!! Saturday Night and the only got damn party going on on Bourbon Street, in the French Quarter, down town in the gem of the South New Orleans, Louisiana was the one at OUTLAWZ which took damn near an ACT of God for me to throw. But we had finally made it! Don’t get me wrong mother phuckerz because as you saw for your phuckin selves at SHOWCa$e this past week this war I started is far from phucking over. As a matter of fact as far as that shit is concerned the
!!!!!!F’N 1st SHoTZ HaVE BeeN FiReD!!!!!!
BuT YoU WeT RaGZ AINT SEEN WAR YET!!!
No we have yet to have the first official battle of this war, but believe me when I tell you that shit is coming and will wash over Outlaw Pro Wrestling like a got damn plague when it happens. And that never really occurred to me until I saw HIM! I’m not going to play coy I’ll come out and phucking say it. The moment Damon “Havok” Riggs walked through the curtain IN MY PHUCKING WRESTLING COMPANY UNINVITED MIND YOU and walked into MY PHUCKIN RING LIKE HE OWNED THE MOTHER PHUCKER! That no good, self righteous, prissy prima donna
!!!!!B.I.T.C.H.!!!!!!
CAN SUCK MY F’N DICK TILL HIS PACEMAKER GIVES OUT!!!!
Because lemme tell ya this...When I saw Damon Rigg’s face walk through the curtain. When I heard all of those numskulls that make up the population of Roger Wright’s backwoods hometown. Sure I was FURIOUS, I was even a little shocked. But one thing I was more than any of the others combined was believe it or not
~!~ H.U.M.B.L.E.D. ~!~
WHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT???
I know right! I found that odd to! Like it bothered me, a lot I won’t lie. But I guess the most sense I can make of it is, I have literally been struggling my entire life. Now in this business that is the only true home I have ever phucking known, I have been battling with these phuckin asshats for pretty much all of it! Right when I got to the point where I was a WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, Damon Riggs and his lot swooped through my home federation like a plague and left it for dead after they chewed it up and spit it out like they did countless other wrestling promotions back then! Those phuckin ungrateful shitbags didn’t appreciate nothin! Not the talent they had nor the clout that they carried. In all honesty the only thing I ever wanted was validation, which I knew deep down I’d never phuckin get because the entire time I refused...Let me say that once more I
!!!!!F’N R.E.F.U.S.E.D.!!!!!!
TO BOW AND SCRAPE AND KISS THEIR ASSES!!!!
Because I knew one day I’d flip the script on them and they’d be kissing mine...And one by one they all have save for four of them! And they all presently work for me so add that shit up and tell me what you get huh? Yet oddly enough the validation I had always been looking for from them I finally phuckin got it last week on SHOWCA$E the moment Damon Riggs got on the stick and announced to the world that he had come back to settle this account personally. He was coming back for one more run. He didn’t give it to me specifically but his appearance said everything I ever needed to know! SO surprise I guess it is true after all...So SOAK SOME UP AMERICA because you can all tell your friends that tonight LA Johnny Stylez added MYTH BUSTA to his already long and accomplished RESUME, when he proved once and for all that
!!!!ACToNZ Do SPeaK LoUDeR THaN WoRDS!!!!!
….EVEN WHEN THEY FALL OUT OF A HUGE COCKSUCKER LIKE DAMON’S!!!!
Because finally I had done something that commanded their attention, Damon Riggs has decided to blow the dust off his wrestling trunks and come down to lil ole OPW to grace us with his pressence!
!!!!!!B.I.T.C.H PLEASE!!!!!
DIDNT U GET MY LAST CARE PACKAGE FROM HOME DEPOT???
But who the phuck am I kiddin huh? You could take that got damn bridge they got in Brooklyn and throw it on the end of the big one they got in San Fran, and still wouldn’t be the required length for Damon Riggs to walk on so that he may do the human race the only kindess he could ever truly give it, which would be to GET THE PHUCK OVER HIMSELF! But oddly enough the words that kept ringing in the back of my mind weren’t any that fell out of that ASSHAT’s mouth. No it was when I saw Xavier a few days after SHoWCa$e had gone off the air. He decided to take the window washer’s lift up to the top of a very tall building and made himelf a door when there wasn’t one. NOt exactly in the way most civil engineers would approve but he got in so, whatever. But before our impromptu meeting ended and we were on the subject of the return of one of the founding fathers of the Wolfpack, to see where he was about it I asked if he was afraid now that Damon was back because he knew just as well as I did that Damon’s return is an entirely different game now. Xavier paused ever so briefly before he answered my question with a question which is one of my moves but that wasn’t important. What was important was what he asked me...
“ARE YOU STUPID ENOUGH NOT TO BE?”
Voice: HAHAHAHAHA oh my goodness stop….You are so silly sometimes! Do you even hear the shit that comes out of your mouth Johnny?
I finish lining up my shot, I found this set of Golf clubs in the lost and found earlier and the cocksucker had almost two hundred golf balls in this bitch, so after I gave the toast at the private Syndicate celebration that featured almost 40% of my BRAZZERS staff that hasn’t been able to work due to all the social distancing. So a private party where the ratio definitely favored estrogen put most of them in a room with a bunch of porn stars who have been sexually starved for almost two months now! If I don’t win boss of the year then the got damn game is
!!!!!!F’N RiGGED I TELL YA!!!!!!
Reason #49585384 YOU WISH YOU WERE US RIGHT NOW!!!!
…..But I digress. A moment ago you heard the soft voice of the other half of the Outlaw Pro Wrestling Immortal World Tag Team Champions Le’Andra Fury. I have to admit she isn’t exactly the worst company even if TinkerBell is fluttering about chiming in answering her questions for her most of the time! (especially if it’s me that asks them.) I don’t take it personally because her Mother informed me that she pays him to be protective, and that he is...Like a little gay pomeranian puppy nippin at some jerks heels when he is trying to stay over and bang. But with that Chan didn’t need to worry about all that with me. I was married and she was with X, plus she isn’t really my type. But she is cool as shit so I’ll give her that SO anyway I lined up the driver with the neon green golf ball I rared back and then swung the golf club as hard as I could and much to my surprise it connected with the ball and we watched it sail over the rooftop of the pitiful Ricks Cabert across the street which USED to be the best strip club on Bourbon Street until I came in here with my Brazzers girls and well suffice to say they aint been doin so hot since then...But
!!!!!WoMp WoMp!!!!!!
IF YOU PAUSE FOR JUST A MOMENT YOU CAN HEAR A SMALL VIOLIN PLAYIN THEM A SMALL SAD SONG!!!
Le’Andra Fury: OK it’s my turn!
LA Johnny Stylez: Absolutely not! Because see the object is to get the ball over the roofs because if you smash one of the windows across the street well that just against the code of unspoken ethics amongst us Bourbon Street business owners!
Le’Andra Fury: What happened to windows being afraid of Johnny Stylez..HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH
LA Johnny Stylez: What? That’s very much a true story you can laugh it up all you want! But see those windows directly ahead of you?
Le’Andra Fury: Yeah of course I see them they are right there!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah well those windows are absolutely petrified of you and your lack of GOLF SKILLS!
Le’Andra Fury: Well how do you know I’m not Ms. Tiger Woods..
LA Johnny Stylez: You’re right forgive me….Please the floor is yours Ms. Tag Team Champion tell the entire class about your expert golf game.
Voice: Does put-put count? And even if it does don’t let her lie to ya, she sucks at that shit too!
Suddenly her husband Xavier Wolf made his way out onto the roof where we were. It wasn’t hard to find once you walked into my office and stuck your head out of the open window and saw the fire escape.
LA Johnny Stylez: Whats up man….You didn’t wanna take the Washa-Vator?
Xavier Wolf: Shit I wish that aint a fire escape I just climbed up its a damn death trap! Anyway what in the hell are you guys doin up here?
Le’Andra Fury: Well Johnny found golf clubs so we are playin golf..
X looks at the bag of clubs and sees there is another driver. I walk over to the black bag and unzip the top zipper. I remove two silver cigar cases and remove what smells like relatively new Cuban cigars. I offer one to X and he takes it. He smells it and starts patting his pockets and then starts to dig into the bag. He looks up and sees me cupping my hand and trying to light it with my 4:19 zippo lighter. He then reaches out and slaps it out of my hand. The lighter smacks the ground as I look up at him with my jaw on the ground…
LA Johnny Stylez: THE PHUCK BRUH???
Le’Andra’s eyes raise as X glares at me with disbelief and disdain as he holds up a box of strike anywhere matches.
Xavier Wolf: Were you raised in a got damn barn? Watch you uncultured ASS...This is how you are supposed to light this...Just stand there and act like you’ve got some sense, but Le and I know way better!
They share a laugh as I use the golf club to bring me another golf ball. X takes his sweet time lighting that thing, but finally gets it lit by the time I slam another neon green ball over the roof of Rick’s and we sit in silence as we listen to it smack against something metal bounce off something else and then straight through a glass window somewhere two blocks over. X hands me the cigar and then grabs the driver from me and lines himself out a ball.
Xavier Wolf: If you brought her up here to try and talk her into siding with you the next time you try to kill me I’m afraid you are in for a disappointment!
LA Johnny Stylez: X….You gotta get over that crap DooD!
Xavier Wolf: YOU TRIED TO HAVE ME KILLED YOU SHIT!
LA Johnny Stylez: Nu-uh!
Xavier Wolf: YES HUH! TWICE! I mean John I wish I could trust you sometimes! But you are a piece of shit, and pieces of shit will always do piece of shit things, so that is actually the only thing I will ever truly trust about you! But that shit is on you! Wasn’t always this way now was it?
LA Johnny Stylez: No I suppose not! But without getting back into it and reopening old wounds, what choice did you leave me? You took over that Bike Club faster than anyone in any recorded Bike Gang history. Le it took this phuckin asshat nearly seven months to become the Club’s CHief! To put it into perspective...It took him five months to get his cut and his patch!
Le’Andra Fury: How in the hell did you pull that off?
X measured his shot then swung the driver backwards and then with all of his strength swung it forward and perfectly nailed the ball and it went sailing over Ricks. We sat in silence as we heard nothing but the sound of glass breaking and some angry troll of a human being scream
GAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDD DAMNNNNNITTTTT
Everyone chuckled as X tossed the the driver back in the set of clubs, and grabbed the bottle of Jameson that was next to Le’Andra’s foot. It was half empty. X takes a swig and then looks at the bottle that was about a quarter full now. As he looks up at me and asks….
Xavier Wolf: Don’t tell me this is all you two assholes brought up here?!?
I smirk arrogantly as I remove my platinum cigarette case that didn’t hold cigarettes in it, and removed a tightly rolled joint and motioned with my head for X to check the zipper on the long side of the bag, which he did, and unzipped it to find fresh unopened bottles of Belvedere vodka, Pyrat Rum, and then my personal favorite a fresh unopened bottle of Johnny Walker BLACK. X sees this and drops the now empty bottle of Jameson and it shatters into a million pieces on the ground. He unscrews the cap and takes a swig as he sits down behind Le’Andra and passes the bottle to me. Now again I don’t drink much but like I was tryin to tell you mother phuckers on the otherside of this got damn 4th wall it’s a special got damn occasion.
Xavier Wolf: Holding out on me Johnny?
LA Johnny Stylez: Now if I was doing that would I have told you where it was?
Xavier Wolf: John I think the one thing I like about you is the same thing that I think I hate about you the most. You never really know what you are going to do and why you even do it before it’s way too late! But rest assured it is always in your best interest, so for all I know you put the shit in there on purpose!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah maybe! You know a few moments ago you said you wish you could trust me, and I have to admit between us three while we sit up here passing these bottles around, I have to admit that I agree I wish we could trust one another. But one thing I learned a long ass time ago was that ultimately you can only trust yourself especially in this business and ironically the same is true about the dozens of other businesses I am linked to now, so it can be headache inducing. But X when we made this last little arrangment of ours, don’t think me stupid...I know just as well as you do there is an experation date on it. I can only hope and pray that we both accomplish what we set out to before that day arrives! And for what it’s worth I always hired the third best hitman to go after ya because I didn’t really want you dead. I just needed you to know that whats mine is MINE….Even if you did help me get it!
But some of us weren’t fortunate to grow up in life or in this business under the protection of one of the hardest hitting families in the good ole US of A….AsK Me HoW I KNoW!!! And up until recently l always saw it as doing it to you before you could do it to me. I grew up in an orphanage about twelve blocks that way, so the concept of family is a relatively unknown one to me, but I know that the bonds as much as we wish them not to be are more times often than not unbreakable. It wasn’t until recently I understood why your….uhhh”disagreement” with your family was one that lined up with my own plans and desires and therefore making us perfect business partners. SO while you say Xavier you wish you could trust me, not only is that my wish as well, but I wish this all of it was real. And that I wasn’t sitting up here admitting things to people I know sooner or later will be my enemies again because I don’t have anyone else to really admit them to!
LeAndra Fury: But John…
LA Johnny Stylez: No, no….It’s ok.Like I just said I know what I’m doin I am well aware of what I’m sayin and who I am sayin it to. But tonight is tonight...And tonight we aren’t turning on each other, and this is a party I really threw for you two...So what do you say we enjoy it?...Ohh and X I did put those bottles in their pn purpose! From what I recall your favorite drink used to be…
Johnny/Xavier: ALCOHOL!
LA Johnny Stylez: SO that’s what I brung yaz! But listen before I leave yas up here to your own devices...Let me answer your question from eariler X...No I’m not stupid enough to not be afraid of Damon, but I aint about to let me him walk in here and take over like I promise you he is sitting somewhere else in the world right now making sure his head still fits in his asshole after all these years. Even if he owns a piece of this company bought and paid for...I SAY NO HE PHUCKIN DOESN’T AND I WILL SPEND EVERY LAST RESOURCE, BIT OF ENERGY AND LAST BREATHE IF THAT’S WHAT IT TAKES, sending him out of here back to wherever it is he came from wishing to God he never even thought about coming back to the ring...And anyone who stands in between me and that will get the exact same treatment he will! You two enjoy your evening I’m sure we will speak at one point or another. But Le…
Le’Andra Fury: Yeah hun?
LA Johnny Stylez: I’m sure X already told you this just as I’m sure you don’t need to be told, but Vin is going to be super pissed. He is going to be more focused on sending a message to X and hurting you and me to be on the same page as Roger. Now Roger and I have our problems there is no secret in that. But we will use their divided front against them. Because while they may not be arguing or bickering...They aren’t communicating and they aren’t on the same page. And with Damon back that isn’t going to last very long so we need to exploit it while we can. Because if we walk out with these tag belts Monday night it will send a huge statement to their camp knowing that PHUCKING with us has just as many if not more consequences than it does to phuck with them. Because OPW belongs to me...I mean us!
Xavier Wolf: No you don’t!
LA Johnny Stylez: Sure I do...tonight anyway! Yall enjoy your evening! Le I’ll see you in the morning so we can get that tag finisher down...We hit it pretty good the first time, but if you would have just let him come to you insetad of jumping for him, right this very moment Vin would be forced to drink his eat his meals through a straw and we wouldn’t be forced to hear anything he has to say for 3-6 months!
Le’Andra Fury: Johnny Stylez wants to meet the morning after a drug and alcohol freak fest? Yeah X babe I believe he is telling the truth he must be scared!
Xavier Wolf: Good to know he’s not dumb enough not to be!
LA Johnny Stylez: Look I guess what I'm trying to tell both of you is this... Now just fricken hear me out here...I know right now if I say you can trust me both of you will scoff like you have every time I have tried to do so before. But I'm telling you right here and right now everything and anything I have done was to lead us all here! When you look at everything we have accomplished us together in such a small amount of time, think about what we could do over the span of a year, five....TEN! it was all a matter of assembling the right team...And I think I have done that. I have tried to screw you over in the past X...But those days are over, and if I have to earn your trust fine...But know I am willing to do what it takes to build a long lasting legacy here...And if you are with that and you are with me then I got your back and I will go to war with you...Because make no mistake about it people that is precisley what we are finna be smack dab in the middle of...And the only chance we have of winning it is if we work together and trust each other! SO think it over and lemme know what you decide because we can't win without it...SO if we are all just wasting our time I'd like to avoid getting my ass kicked by your phuckin family as a result of it! Cause in life my friends there are only two ways of doing things...THE RIGHT WAY...AND AGAIN...And I don't think we are going to get another shot...Not one as good as we have right now today to build something for ourselves...So I'm in if you guys are...You guys talk it over and enjoy your evening...We can talk shop tomorrow...Le...X...
Xavier Wolf: Johnny
Le'Andra Fury: Good night Johnny!
Xavier takes the bottle of Johnny Walker from Johnny as they had been passing it back and fourth the entire time. Johnny flashes his trademark arrogant smirk after Xavier says what he just did. He then turns and starts to head for the death trap of a fire escape and go back inside to his own party to see if everyone was behaving themselves and if they were get them to cut that shit out PRONTO! We can see from the camera angle X standing up and removing the driver from the bag of golf clubs they were using earlier and him convincing Le’Andra to let him show her how to do it. Before he takes a step down off the roof Johnny sees this and calls back to them.
LA Johnny Stylez: HEY FURY!!! OVER THE ROOF NOT THROUGH IT!
Xavier Wolf: You go worry about bossman shit, I’ve got this under control John!
LA Johnny Stylez: Of course you do Mr. Wolf….Of course you do!
We see X wrap his big muscular arms around his wife and tries to show her how to move her body when swinging a golf club. She seems like she could care less as she kept pressing her lips to his cheek and nibbling wherever she could. X finally gets her to pay attention and then backs away to let Le’Andra take her shot. We see Le’Andra take a practice swing, and then like Babe Ruth points to where the ball was going to go. Her and X share a laugh on the roof as they made some obvious “THAT’S NOT GOLF” as she lines up swings the club back, and then she swings forward and immediately as the club makes impact with the ball, the camera switches to Johnny who is fixing to climb into the window of his office when we hear
!!!!!!SMASH!!!!!!
...THE UNMISTAKABLE SOUND OF BROKEN GLASS AND NOT THAT DON’T MEAN STONECOLD STEVE AUSTIN IS COMING OUT!
Johnny stops as the sound of the glass that broke sounded like it came from across the street as he can hear Le’Andra who had a little too much to drink and perhaps a little too much to smoke FREAKING OUT up on the roof while X tried to calm her down. Johnny laughs it off as the only thing we are able to make out of them saying up there is…”Next time Babe, make sure the ball goes through the window and not the club! Because you didn’t even come close to hitting that fucking ball...Like not even close…”YES I DID...NO LOOK IT’S RIGHT THERE! Johnny shakes his head looks at the camera like Zack Morris and chuckles to himself before disappearing inside.
He is walking downstairs as he sees he made it back just in time for the wet t-shirt contest featuring Ava Adams, Bridgette B, Brooklyn Chase, Jayden James, Rachel Roxx, Ricki Raxxx, Mason Moore, and Madison Ivy who were on opposite sides of the stage...He walks over to the bar where tattoed hot sexy mamma Karma Rx is tending the bar along with her manslave INKT who swore her his sword the moment she came into the bar the first time earlier today. Karma was the actual bartender while Inkt took his role as “bar back” a little too literally, but he let Karma pull him around on a leash so she got a kick out of it. I walk down to the bar and immediately Karma fixes up a Moscow Mule. She squeezes the lime in copper ABSOLUTE promo cup they dropped off for us to specifically use when we made those and I threw a 20 on the table for her to keep.
I then removed another joint from my platinum cigarette case that didn’t carry cigarettes and I turned in my bar stool and walked toward the exit. I took a step outside and still found myself struggling to believe I was actually on Bourbon Stret. It was almost scary seeing it like this. It almost felt like we were the last humans alive on the planet. And as that thought crept into my mind i turned and looked at Ava Adams and Ricki Raxxx trying to draw the biggest reaction to see who went home with the $20,000 and the huge BRAZZERS Championship belt I had made specifically for this event, and laughed cause hey I wouldn’t be too upset if that was the case.
Then finally I see the bumbling idiots I hired as a camera crew to come shoot the party and my verbal raping of Le’Andra and my opponents this week coming around the corner. They stop soon as they get to the part of the window where you cn see straight through to the stage and then all of a sudden they stop and start crowding around the window like they weren’t fixing to be able to just walk in and watch it up close and personal….And like I said these girls have been sexually starved for two months and I pretty much invited them to an all you can eat DICK BUFFET!
I whistle pretty loudly and one of them damn near puts his head through the window as you would have thought I caught one of these jerk offs jerkin off. But I motioned with my head we were gunna be shooting my bit first and down the street. So I walked over to Rick’s where there was broken glass all over the street and I removed the driver from the window as I heard Le’Andra on the roof freaking out thinking I was fixing to get pissed. I heard a SORRRY JOHNNY!!! As I looked up and saw her looking over the side of my building worried. I just smirked shook my head and waved back. X then pulls her away and I slung the club over my shoulders and began walking down the streets that are usually crowded everyday all day.
Once the camera crew joins me towards the middle of the street near TROPICAL ISLE where they make the infamous “Hand Grenade” drinks I flick my joint away and remove the NEWPORT cigarette I had behind my ear, cupped my hands and light it. I took a drag and then looked down the dark street to my left and then down the one on my right then into the camera and began to speak slowly at first, but with every bit of conviction I had in me...Because tonight I was feeling a bit HONEST...What does that mean?....Well if you’d shut the phuck up already you can see for yourselves! So take your shoes off CLoSe YoUR CaWK SuCKeR and LiSTeN WHILST I DRoP THiS KnOwLeDgE On YA AS ONLY I CAN DO!!!!
LA Johnny Stylez….Being the
~$~ B.E.$.T. ~$~
...Such An Abstract Notion Is IT NoT???
What does it even mean? So many of us that have come and gone have laid claim to that very thing. Yet how many out of the countless voices some worthy most NOT SO MUCH. But what does it truly mean to be the best? To transcend one’s peers and remain constant, to see Main Event after Main Event….To not even need The Immortal or World Heavyweight Championship for your peers to know who and what you are. All of those are characteristics of what I’m talking about but none of them stand alone as the lone reason why I am and always have been
~$~ #BeTTeRTHaNu ~$~
(If You Are Sittin Around Wonderin if I’m Talking About u The ANSWER IS YES)
But I’ll go ahead and skip the spoiler alert notice and just go ahead and tell you it’s a trick question. What makes someone...ME THE ABSOLUTE BEST TO EVER PLAY THIS GAME isn’t any one thing it’s a collection of many things over a span of two decades. I wasn’t always the best but I always knew I would become it one day! And while most of you phucking nerds sit behind a computer screen in the computer room at your mom’s house or whatever domicile you dwell in where the only time you ever get laid is when you take matters “in your own hands” so to speak, you can debate what’s not really a debate all you’d like. But sooner or later you will have to face the truth And it doesn’t even really matter which one of you says it, but the first one of you that says my name is the only one of you that is not completely and utterly
!!!!!FuLL oF SHIT!!!!!!
BC AT THE END OF THE DAY FACTS ARE FACTS!!!
And one day you will find that in other books and documents you go to when you want to look up facts about whatever subject. And it will be here where I finish off the rest of the legendary legacy that has been my professional wrestling career! And do you know how I was able to accomplish such a thing? By facing those that thought they deserved to call themselves what I have been calling myself since the first time I picked up a live mic in front of a live audience. And one by one and in some instances even two by two I have put every phucking one of them down. Like Taj Escobar told yall a few weeks ago, I have lost my share of battles. But the DoN oF Di$Re$PeCT has NEVER...Let me say that one more time so that hopefully it sticks or at the very least finally sinx in….I HAVE
!!!!!N.E.V.E.R. F.N. E.V.E.R.!!!!!!
LoST a F’N WaR!!!!!
...And if you phucking MoRoNZ think that is fixing to change here on my own personal battlefield then most of you asshats are as phuckin stupid as I say you are...And lemme just go ahead and tell ya that’s phuckin sayin somethin! But that’s also why I don’t really sweat the decree that Sam Laramie made months ago when he went behind my back and had the board declare that I may never challenge for the OPW Immortal Championship unless directly challenged by the Champion, because I know that if anyone who wears that title for any period of time ever wants to call themself the best wrestler in the world and have anyone with any understanding of who and what this business is about then they may not do so until they have pinned my shoulders to the mat, knock me out cold, or force me to slap the mat in submission. Which most of the asshats who are here and close to the top in OPW now can tell ya takes more than a
!!!!!F’N SMiLE!!!!!!
...WHICH IRONICALLY IS SOMETHING I’VE TAKEN FROM THEM ONCE UPON A TIME!
Yet despite the edict...I still stand before you a CHAMPION. Around my waist as we speak here is one half of the Outlaw Pro Wrestling Immortal Tag Team Championships! But that’s what I’m trying to tell ya. Even if I wasn’t wearing the title...Phuck it even if Le’Andra and I weren’t the Champs...You people would still turn this promo on and sit there trying to tread water in your own hate as you despise the fact that you know deep down and it eats you alive that the greatest of all time is a got damn asshole
!!!!!LiKe ME!!!!!!
….WHICH ISN’T REALLY A THING BECAUSE THERE IS NO ONE LIKE ME!!!!
Not a single one of you knows how to make big BIGGER, how to take ordinary and make it EXTRAordinary, how to turn BEST to BETTER than The PaRaGoNA oF AMeRiKaNa! You wanna say or think that I’m not what I say I am because I don’t have that likeable fan friendly attitude that Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzsky, Babe Ruth had during their respective runs in their respective lines of work. But like I said I may be cut from the same cloth but there is no one like me and I quite frankly don’t think I should hide or be humble about it. There is no good reason to do it...Hell the only reason they did it was so that you would say what they already knew. Being humble is bullshit and it’s only a social trick that gets played on sheep like you! I have the balls to just come out and say it, and if anyone stands up and doubts me I hit them so bad that the next time they say anything is six months down the road when they remove the got damn
!!!!!WiRE FRoM YOUR F’N JAW!!!!!!
...AND YOU ASK FOR SOMETHING SOLID TO EAT!!!!
But again I know some of you are wondering what in the phuckin phuck does that have to do with The Main Event of ShowCase this week when Le’Andra and I defend the OPW Immortal Tag Team Titles against Roger Wright and Vincent Wolf? And I’m here to tell ya it has
!!!!!!F’N EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!!!
BeCaUsE THAT IS THE ONLY THING ALL OF THIS WAS EVER ABOUT!!!
That is what Roger and My rivalrly has been about since day one. It is the only thing between us that causes so much animosity because Roger wishes he was and likes to pretend he is the best, and well I just am, and I’ve got the track record and wins and losses to prove it. Because Mr. Wright while you will sit here and lie to yourself and these people about your record against me, let’s look at a few of those things you go out of your way to avoid called
!!!!!!F.A.C.T.S.!!!!!!!
….THE F WORD AS FAR AS YOU’RE CONCERNED DIPSHIT!!!!
Because the fact is you hold two key victories over me. One was in the TerrorDome...The other was out first one on one encounter at Annihilation the following month. But let’s look at that first one for a moment huh? Because TerrorDome...Was it just you and me in there? Did you pin my shoulders to the mat to win the NEW TItle? DID you make me submit? Knock me out COLD? THe answer to those questions is the same answer you come to again and again when you lie awake at night thinking of ways to one up me on television when you whisper silently to yourself….
?AM I BETTER THAN JOHNNY??
SPOILER ALERT: HA ASK ME A REAL F’N QUESTION!!!
No you aren’t better than me and no you never will be and you never were to begin with! Because yes while technicalities of pro wrestling matches state that you defeated me in the TerrorDome, because I was one of the other 6 participants in the match and you were the only winner..We both know you won that match because I was a bit preoccupied writing some other wrong. Now Annihilation I will not sit here and make any excuses there is no asterisk or parentheses around that situation. On that night you defeated me. I went for a knock out move you moved out of the way jumped up and dropped my stupid ass right on my face in what I still consider to this day the most humiliating soul sucking defeat of my entire career! But anyone who knows about me and you know how the story goes from there right? Because it wasn’t even six months later that we met again for the NEW World Championship and just like every single time you and I stepped into a ring with one another since then
!!!!!!VICTORY, THE BELT, AND THE WORLD!!!!!!
...ALL BELONG TO ME!!!!
Because again Roger here are those pesky little facts comin back around to bite you in the ass, because yes you bought into my world through back door deals and trickery...But even that tells you everything you need to know. Because you bought into my world bitch I DIDN’T BUY INTO YOURZ! And one of these days Roger we are going to climb in that ring you and me….And we will settle this debate once and for all, because on that day Roger I won’t stop! I won’t stop until you are on your cocksucking knees SCREAMING AS LOUD AS YOU CAN FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE EARTH TO THE TIPPY TOP OF THE HEAVENS THAT THE DON OF DISRESPECT IS, WAS AND ALWAYS F’N WILL BE
!!!!!YOUR BETTER!!!!
...YOUR SUPERIOR!!!!
Which brings us to your new friends...more specifically your tag team partner! You think I’m bad, HA! I really don’t understand how you can say anything you have ever said about me in a negative light and then sit around those self absorbed pubic hairs! Wait yes I do! You do it because you drink the same Kool-Aid they do, not to mention the Immortal Champion Anicka Swan polishing your knob every night before bed. Which I’ll be the first to tell you from what I’ve seen over the years if the Government knew of her talents in terms of brain washing men to do, think, or say certain things then she’d be blowing
!!!!!!KiM JoB UN AS WE SPEAK!!!!!!
THEY’D PROBABLY CALL HER OSAMA BIN ATE2MANYDICK!
And despite her natural defense mechanism to sit there and make you think I’m being unoriginal or cliche by calling her a whore, let me be clear that’s not what I’m doing...Even though that is precisely what she is...Don’t believe me? Ask Xavier Wolf why he is cuddled up next to Le’Andra Fury instead of HER! Or better yet Rodg….Why don’t you ask Anicka...although just a piece of bro advice maybe wait until your dick is out of her mouth before you ask huh? Right! But look make no mistake about it, Ani is as tough as they come. And so far she has proven herself worthy of being the OPW Immortal Champion. But let’s be frank about something her up coming title defense against Xavier Wolf is her first actual test, as Donnie McVay and Abdul Bin Hassan who as far as I have seen isn’t exactly the wrestler he was when I first saw him. But still like I said am saying and will continue to say until you phuckin self righteous SHITKICKERZ get it through your phucking
!!!!!NuMB SKULLZ!!!!
FACTS ARE F’N FACTS!!!!
And at the end of the day YOU ALL...THE OUTLAW PRO WRESTLING ROSTER VOTED HER IN AT WRESTLECADE BECAUSE YOU SAW HER WRESTLE ONLY ONE MATCH...NOW PRETEL WHO WAS THAT MATCH AGAINST? THAT’s right! So she was voted in among countless others who at that point had more matches then she did. But she only needed the one because her one match her one victory was worth more than everyone else's matches and victories PUT TOGETHER….So add that shit up and tell me what it EQUALZ….Put your got damn pencils and calculators down I’ll go ahead and tell ya right now for free..The answer is
!!!!!NOTHING!!!!!!
BeCaUsE LA JOHNNY STYLEZ DOESN’T HAVE ANY EQUALZ!!!
Now fate gave victory to Anicka Swan the last time she and I met, but that is because I bit on the past. I made one simple mistake and I played her game, and it cost me...Just barley but it cost me. If she and I were to ever meet in a one on one scenario again especially if it was for the OPW Immortal Championship I’d hit her so phucking hard and drop her so quick she’d wake up back at the Wolf Compound five years ago listening to VooDoo tell her the story about the time she had her booty cherry BUSTED BY
!!!!!!KRISTIAN OSS!!!!!!!
...Voo’s OLD OWNER WHO I USED TO OWN!!!!!
Because they say you should learn from every defeat and failure and on that night the second episode of ShowCase where Anicka Swan was able to pin my shoulders to the mat for that fateful three seconds that lead her down the path she is currently on today. I learned something that will save me from ever losing to one of these MONGREL WOLVES EVER AGAIN! Because one thing you’ll notice that they all have in common from Anicka, Damon, ARP, Vincent...ALL OF THEM! They want to bring up the exact same shit...They want to talk about who I was when they first met me...Which you should be able to at least tell them I am no longer! The next time Vincent Wolf says LA Johnny Stylez is void of any talent, you Roger Wright should reach over and
!!!!!!SLAP HIM!!!!!!
...NOT JUST BECAUSE HE’S AN IDIOT, BUT BECAUSE...WELL HE’S A F’N IDIOT!
To say that is just irresponsible and silly! When Vincent Black first met and defeated LA Johnny Stylez I was a wet behind the ears kid who just shot his mouth off all the time at everything. But his refusal to accept or see that the man who stands as his nemesis now is not that man that he knew then is precisley why Tuesday morning he will wake up and LA Johnny Stylez along with Le’Andra Fury will still
!!!!F’N BE OPW IMMORTAL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONZ!!!!!
...OF THE WORLD VIN….OF THE WORLD!!!
Because while Anicka likes to sing her song about how I wanted to get in them guts once upon a time, and Vin and Damon will sit here and tell you bedtime stories about when Johnny Stylez was nothing more than an irritating nuisance while they battled the big bad Montouris or some other nameless asshat that no one cares to remember because those phucking mongrels you have fallen in line with Roger burnt every castle they ever conquered! And the only reason people know they are a big deal now is because I
!!!!!!F’N TOLD THEM TO!!!!!!
BeCaUsE NoT ONLY AM I THE BEST..BUT I’M ALSO A F”N BuSINE$$ MAN!!!
But they were wrong then just like they are now! And that isn’t even the real reason you Roger Wright and you Vincent Black are going home EMPTY F’N HANDED TOMORROW! No the reason you are going home empty handed is because Vincent Wolf didn’t even bother to take the time or make the effort to show Roger he felt he was an equal. You two aren’t facing Le’Andra and I as a team! You are facing us as Roger Wright and Vincent Wolf. And while the two of you think that ought to be good enough I’m here to tell you that
!!!!!IT AINT!!!!!
NOT EVEN CLOSE PUSSIES!!!
Because Le’Anra Fury is every bit as good as those knob gobbling women yall run around with! She has every bit of talent they do if not more because she doesn’t have all the tread on the tires so to speak! And Le’Andra and I will go into that match united and working as a team, because we are the CHAMPIONS and we know that a loss invites HOPE...and we both know that it is in our best interest to crush any signs of that right out of the gate. Because like I said earlier the shots have been fired...We are officially at WAR, and if you mouth breathers are to have any hope of surviving it then you are going to need a whole
!!!!!HELL OF A LOT MORE!!!!!!
THEN YOUR ALTERED and OUTDATED VERSIONS OF THE TRUTH!!!!!
And you accept that I am the most dangerous man in the history of this business. Because I will stop at nothing, I will step on anyone, I will destroy everything you hold dear and love in this world in the name of getting what I want. And what I phucking want is to walk down to that ring on Monday Night ShowCa$e and force you two uncohesive, misinformed , soon to be defeated DOUCHE BAG DICK HEADS to
!!!!SoaK!!!!
!!!!SoMe!!!!
!!!!!!UP!!!!!!
SO DAMON RIGGS CAN SEE FOR HIMSELF THAT HE SHOULDA STAYED THE PHUCK AT HOME!!!
Johnny nods at the guy who is supposed to be the director so he knows to yell CUTTTTTTTT. Johnny then flicks his cigarette away and reaches in his back pocket and pulls out his phone. He also removes his half of the OPW IMMORTAL TAG TEAM TITLES as he looks at them. He then looks up at the roof and notices that it got kind of quiet up there. Johnny then motions for someone off camera to bring him something. One of the stage hands walks over and hands him a pineapple. Johnny then takes a piece of paper out of the guys hand along with the pen he was holding and then spins the guy around so he can use his back to write on the paper. On the paper he writes A FRIENDLY REMINDER TO ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX!!!) Johnny then takes the note presses it against the pineapple and puts the rubber band over it. Johnny then walks back closer to OUTLAWS and throws it as hard as he can and it makes it onto the roof. We hear someone scream WHAT THE FUCK...Then we wait a few seconds….Until we hear a voice scream once again….FUCK YOU JOHNNNNYYYYYY…. Johnny then takes out his phone and pulls up Le’Andra’s name and sends her a text message that we are able to read in subtitles while he is typing it.
Didn’t get to finish our CONVO FROM EARILER...What I was trying to tell you was That as long as we hold these titles you can count on me as a partner. I would say you can trust me which you can but I know your husband and everyone else has warned you not to do so. But I’m telling you I love being a CHAMPION and I LOVE OPW...And I will destory anyone who tries to take it from me. And if you feel the same way you will meet me in the morning and we will work on being the better team because that is the only way we defeat those two MONGRELS who think themselves WOLVES! But this is our time now...And I know both of us have come to far to let them take what we have earned now! So you see we have more in common than you think! Enjoy your night...See you in the morning...Tell X there is a knife in the golf bag if you guys want some fresh pineapple after….Well you get it...GOOD NIGHT! Ohhh and before I forget...Make sure you don’t forget
...It’s Been YOUR PLea$uRE
P.S. CHAN was doing the WORM after the WET T-SHIRT contest...Came up and when he went down fell right into Ava Adam's boobs....And if he isn't dead then he had a heart attack!
4:19
GoT
-A-
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