Post by Blair Buchannan-Stylez on May 31, 2020 21:59:01 GMT -5
There's a thousand yous
There's only one of me!
-Kanye West
IS
Keeping a Secret
“...There’s something I have to tell you…”
“...and...I don’t think you’re going to like it…”
“...in fact I know you won’t like it...”
“....it’s going to be difficult to hear, but you deserve to know...”
AllSaints Clothing Store
South Beach, Miami.
The high end fashion retail location in the heart of South Beach had closed its doors for the day in order to facilitate the filming of Blair’s cheeky Netflix series, Breakin’ All The Rulez. Producers and tech crew alike were all abuzz as they hurried around the store to ready it for the next shot. The premise of the episode was to present a pair of brothers who were in desperate need of a makeover to make them look like more polished versions of themselves. The brothers were to essentially serve as doppelgangers for Alan Envy and Tommy Kain--Blair’s opponents at this week’s Showcase in Miami Beach where she would compete alongside Ryan Elias in a tag match.
The purpose was to draw comparisons to Alan and Tommy who were admittedly less aesthetically polished than the team of Blair and Ryan. It was supposed to be simple. The brothers would film a before and after makeup portion with Blair in the clothing store where she upgraded their style, and then go off to film an intense workout bootcamp portion with Elias. By the end of the episode they would be transformed into new men...or at least that was the plan. The crew had already filmed the “before” portion of the makeover and were now getting set up for the big reveal. Though there was organized chaos all around her, Blair was eerily calm as she prepared to disclose a terrible secret and she was unsure of how it would be received.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “....It’s about Tyler Knowles.”
She said, trying to choose her words carefully. Blair was seated on a tall white director’s chair getting her hair and makeup touched up as her younger half brother Zuma listened to her speak. Blair had on a large white robe covering her outfit, and a pair of simple white slippers. Zuma was dressed in a loose fitting white tank top with the OPW STAFF logo screen printed on the back, and a pair of baggy black cargo pants with black & white checkered hi-top sneakers. For his part, Zuma was tasked with the duty of following Blair around for the next few weeks while preparing to write a fluff piece for her in the upcoming issue of OPW magazine--at the direction of Blair herself of course.
Zuma Rockwell: “...Tyler? Yeah, I know all about that!”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “You do?” She asked, sounding at the same time both surprised and relieved.
Zuma Rockwell: “I mean duh! I am on staff now so it’s my job to know what’s going on. I can’t believe what Tyler did! Having all those people wrestle his matches for him...so creepy. You think you know someone…”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “None of us knew Tyler, though…Not at all.”
Zuma Rockwell: “But I feel like I should have known at least something...I mean…” Zuma leans in close before speaking in a hushed tone. “I was sleeping with him after all.”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Yyyyeah…” She says before sighing and dismissing the hair and makeup team. Once they’re alone, she continued to speak. “....about that. I’m not so sure you were.”
Zuma Rockwell: “Were what?” He asked, only half paying attention as he was busy checking something on his phone.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “...Sleeping with Tyler Knowles.”
Zuma Rockwell: “That’s impossible...Isn’t it?”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Afraid not, sweetie. He fleeced us all. Even you…”
Zuma Rockwell: “That’s horrible...I feel so...violated!”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “YOU!? How do you think I feel? I gave that weirdo, or at least someone I thought was that weirdo, a key to my house. Now I have to get locks changed and it’s gonna be a whole thing.”
Zuma Rockwell: “FUCK YOUR LOCKS! I GOTTA GET A WHOLE NEW ASSHOLE NOW!”
All of the noise around them came to a pause as the crew members and showrunners around suddenly stopped what they were doing. Instantly, all eyes were on Zuma and Blair.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “What the fuck are you all staring at?!” She says, looking around at everybody. “Get back to work!!”
...and just like that, everybody got their asses back to work. Blair leaned in a little, speaking so that nobody aside from Zuma could hear her.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Look, I know you’re upset but pipe the fuck down I have a job to do. I hope for your sake you at least used protection.”
Zuma Rockwell: “Well yeah, i’m not an idiot.”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Good...well, why don’t you go take a walk to clear your head so I can focus on wrapping up this scene?”
Zuma Rockwell: “That’s actually a pretty good idea...I think i’ll do that.”
Zuma turns and heads toward the exit. Before he can reach the door, Blair calls out after him as if she forgot something.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “OH! Z! If you could pick up a caramel latte on your way back that would be fantastic!”
Zuma Rockwell: “Fuck off..” He says, flipping Blair the bird before shoving the door open and making his exit.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Well..that’s one down..”
She says to herself. Having to explain the Tyler Knowles situation to Zuma was only one of the uncomfortable situations Blair had found herself in recently, but it was far from her biggest worry. Ever since Sam Laramie Sr revealed that he was Johnny’s father, Blair had been struggling with how to tell her husband for weeks now. With so much happening in OPW, there never seemed to be a right time to tell him but she knew that she was running out of it. But she would have to deal with that later because, as she told Zuma just seconds prior, she had a job to do.
The door almost hits Ryan Elias in the face as he enters the store just as Zuma is leaving. He raises a brow before making his way into AllSaints just as Blair stands up to remove her robe, revealing a simple white bodycon dress that ends around her knees and a pair of gold metallic strappy stilettos. Elias is dressed in a crisp white suite, fitting for Miami of course. He approaches Blair who is going over a few notes for the show. As Ryan reaches her, Blair hands the notes off to a showrunner and turns to face him.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “You made it, just in time.”
Ryan Elias: “Yeah and luckily in one piece. That kid almost took my head off. What was that about?” He asks, motioning to the door.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Oh who knows? You know the gays and their theatrics. Nevermind that. I’m glad you’re here. Thanks again for agreeing to making an appearance on the show.”
Ryan Elias: “No problem. I’m sure you know by now you can depend on me to give you a leg up when needed.”
As he says this, Ryan motions over to Blair’s custom made Gucci OPW Southern Heavyweight Championship title belt that is currently resting on a plush white ottoman to the side of the room. The same belt she won for the second time in a match against Al Envy in which Ryan Elias interfered. Blair glanced from the title and back to Ryan with a brow raised. She didn’t exactly like the implication he was making, suggesting that he in some way helped her to capture the belt, but she was willing to let it slide for the sake of having bigger fish to fry.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “...and i’m so lucky that I can…” She responded through gritted teeth.
Ryan Elias: “Easy, princess.” He laughs, sensing her frustration. “I’m only kidding. So...remind me how this is supposed to go again?”
Blair Buchanan-Stylez: “Right...so basically these two guys are getting a makeover. They’re totally hopeless. I mean, the Alan Envy lookalike is okay I guess...He’s just kind of there, not doing much. Not much of a personality and he doesn’t really belong on camera if you ask me. But the Tommy Kain look alike is a total moron. Great for TV, but he’s been holding up production all day!”
As if on cue, the sound of a man struggling can be heard from inside a nearby dressing room. Blair sighs and rolls her eyes before continuing.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “So basically we took all of their old clothes and I picked out a new wardrobe for them. They’re inside those dressing rooms putting on their new clothes now...We’re going to start filming the big reveal any second now...and then we’re going to cut and change locations so you can do your whole fitness bootcamp training session thing with them.”
Ryan Elias: “Sounds simple enough.”
Showrunner: “Alright, places everybody! We’re ready to film the reveal!”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “That’s our cue. It’s showtime!”
Taking Ryan Elias by the wrist, Blair leads him over to a plush white sofa set up for the scene where they both take a seat. Hair and makeup rush over to give Blair a last second touch up before everyone clears the set. The lead producer holds up one finger, then two, then three to signal that filming has begun and Blair looks into the camera before speaking.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “...and now it’s time for the big reveal! We took a pair of brothers from somewhere in the middle of nowhere USA with dreams of becoming professional wrestlers... and decided to give them a whole new sense of style before they head off with my pal Mr.Ryan Elias here to get a once and a lifetime opportunity to train with a real life former champion!...Let’s see how they look now...first up...Albert!”
A man named ‘Albert’ who is supposed to be the Al Envy lookalike emerges from one of the fitting rooms. He’s outfitted in a pair of modern looking designer duds, and looks alright but altogether unremarkable and lacking of anything special. Blair gives him the once over and smiles over dramatically and begins clapping her hands.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Oh Albert you look phenomenal! How do you feel?”
Albert: “Um...okay, I guess.”
Somebody coughed in the background breaking up an otherwise anti climactic moment. Blair could see one of the producers tilt their head back and groan in the background before motioning for her to move on.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Oooookay then...let’s see how your brother is doing. Come on out, Timmy!”
The doors to another fitting room open and out comes ‘Timmy’ the Tommy Kain lookalike who is dressed in a pair of tight metal studded denim jeans and a faux grunge designer graphic t-shirt. His outfit is on point and he actually looks pretty good although he appears to have something like a piece of fabric balled up in his hands. .
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Timmy, you look awesome!”
Ryan Elias: “Uh yeah...go Timmy!”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “How does your new look make you feel?”
Timmy: “I dig it! I mean, at first these tight ass jeans were super fuckin’ uncomfortable but I figured out it’s because I was wearing the wrong underwear.”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “....Oh?” She says, leaning in a little more interested now. “So wait, you’re going commando right now? How 90’s!”
Timmy: “Yeah baby...free as a bird!” He says, before launching the balled up fabric in his hands at Blair’s feet.
Ryan and Blair lean in to get a closer look at the fabric on the ground. Elias instantly starts dying of laughter. Upon closer inspection, Blair realizes that the fabric is actually a pair of worn out tighty whitey style briefs turned inside out to reveal a long streak out brown right in the middle of them. After realizing she was staring at this man’s ‘skidmark’, Blair’s eyes widened in horror.
South Beach, Miami.
The high end fashion retail location in the heart of South Beach had closed its doors for the day in order to facilitate the filming of Blair’s cheeky Netflix series, Breakin’ All The Rulez. Producers and tech crew alike were all abuzz as they hurried around the store to ready it for the next shot. The premise of the episode was to present a pair of brothers who were in desperate need of a makeover to make them look like more polished versions of themselves. The brothers were to essentially serve as doppelgangers for Alan Envy and Tommy Kain--Blair’s opponents at this week’s Showcase in Miami Beach where she would compete alongside Ryan Elias in a tag match.
The purpose was to draw comparisons to Alan and Tommy who were admittedly less aesthetically polished than the team of Blair and Ryan. It was supposed to be simple. The brothers would film a before and after makeup portion with Blair in the clothing store where she upgraded their style, and then go off to film an intense workout bootcamp portion with Elias. By the end of the episode they would be transformed into new men...or at least that was the plan. The crew had already filmed the “before” portion of the makeover and were now getting set up for the big reveal. Though there was organized chaos all around her, Blair was eerily calm as she prepared to disclose a terrible secret and she was unsure of how it would be received.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “....It’s about Tyler Knowles.”
She said, trying to choose her words carefully. Blair was seated on a tall white director’s chair getting her hair and makeup touched up as her younger half brother Zuma listened to her speak. Blair had on a large white robe covering her outfit, and a pair of simple white slippers. Zuma was dressed in a loose fitting white tank top with the OPW STAFF logo screen printed on the back, and a pair of baggy black cargo pants with black & white checkered hi-top sneakers. For his part, Zuma was tasked with the duty of following Blair around for the next few weeks while preparing to write a fluff piece for her in the upcoming issue of OPW magazine--at the direction of Blair herself of course.
Zuma Rockwell: “...Tyler? Yeah, I know all about that!”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “You do?” She asked, sounding at the same time both surprised and relieved.
Zuma Rockwell: “I mean duh! I am on staff now so it’s my job to know what’s going on. I can’t believe what Tyler did! Having all those people wrestle his matches for him...so creepy. You think you know someone…”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “None of us knew Tyler, though…Not at all.”
Zuma Rockwell: “But I feel like I should have known at least something...I mean…” Zuma leans in close before speaking in a hushed tone. “I was sleeping with him after all.”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Yyyyeah…” She says before sighing and dismissing the hair and makeup team. Once they’re alone, she continued to speak. “....about that. I’m not so sure you were.”
Zuma Rockwell: “Were what?” He asked, only half paying attention as he was busy checking something on his phone.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “...Sleeping with Tyler Knowles.”
Zuma Rockwell: “That’s impossible...Isn’t it?”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Afraid not, sweetie. He fleeced us all. Even you…”
Zuma Rockwell: “That’s horrible...I feel so...violated!”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “YOU!? How do you think I feel? I gave that weirdo, or at least someone I thought was that weirdo, a key to my house. Now I have to get locks changed and it’s gonna be a whole thing.”
Zuma Rockwell: “FUCK YOUR LOCKS! I GOTTA GET A WHOLE NEW ASSHOLE NOW!”
All of the noise around them came to a pause as the crew members and showrunners around suddenly stopped what they were doing. Instantly, all eyes were on Zuma and Blair.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “What the fuck are you all staring at?!” She says, looking around at everybody. “Get back to work!!”
...and just like that, everybody got their asses back to work. Blair leaned in a little, speaking so that nobody aside from Zuma could hear her.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Look, I know you’re upset but pipe the fuck down I have a job to do. I hope for your sake you at least used protection.”
Zuma Rockwell: “Well yeah, i’m not an idiot.”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Good...well, why don’t you go take a walk to clear your head so I can focus on wrapping up this scene?”
Zuma Rockwell: “That’s actually a pretty good idea...I think i’ll do that.”
Zuma turns and heads toward the exit. Before he can reach the door, Blair calls out after him as if she forgot something.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “OH! Z! If you could pick up a caramel latte on your way back that would be fantastic!”
Zuma Rockwell: “Fuck off..” He says, flipping Blair the bird before shoving the door open and making his exit.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Well..that’s one down..”
She says to herself. Having to explain the Tyler Knowles situation to Zuma was only one of the uncomfortable situations Blair had found herself in recently, but it was far from her biggest worry. Ever since Sam Laramie Sr revealed that he was Johnny’s father, Blair had been struggling with how to tell her husband for weeks now. With so much happening in OPW, there never seemed to be a right time to tell him but she knew that she was running out of it. But she would have to deal with that later because, as she told Zuma just seconds prior, she had a job to do.
The door almost hits Ryan Elias in the face as he enters the store just as Zuma is leaving. He raises a brow before making his way into AllSaints just as Blair stands up to remove her robe, revealing a simple white bodycon dress that ends around her knees and a pair of gold metallic strappy stilettos. Elias is dressed in a crisp white suite, fitting for Miami of course. He approaches Blair who is going over a few notes for the show. As Ryan reaches her, Blair hands the notes off to a showrunner and turns to face him.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “You made it, just in time.”
Ryan Elias: “Yeah and luckily in one piece. That kid almost took my head off. What was that about?” He asks, motioning to the door.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Oh who knows? You know the gays and their theatrics. Nevermind that. I’m glad you’re here. Thanks again for agreeing to making an appearance on the show.”
Ryan Elias: “No problem. I’m sure you know by now you can depend on me to give you a leg up when needed.”
As he says this, Ryan motions over to Blair’s custom made Gucci OPW Southern Heavyweight Championship title belt that is currently resting on a plush white ottoman to the side of the room. The same belt she won for the second time in a match against Al Envy in which Ryan Elias interfered. Blair glanced from the title and back to Ryan with a brow raised. She didn’t exactly like the implication he was making, suggesting that he in some way helped her to capture the belt, but she was willing to let it slide for the sake of having bigger fish to fry.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “...and i’m so lucky that I can…” She responded through gritted teeth.
Ryan Elias: “Easy, princess.” He laughs, sensing her frustration. “I’m only kidding. So...remind me how this is supposed to go again?”
Blair Buchanan-Stylez: “Right...so basically these two guys are getting a makeover. They’re totally hopeless. I mean, the Alan Envy lookalike is okay I guess...He’s just kind of there, not doing much. Not much of a personality and he doesn’t really belong on camera if you ask me. But the Tommy Kain look alike is a total moron. Great for TV, but he’s been holding up production all day!”
As if on cue, the sound of a man struggling can be heard from inside a nearby dressing room. Blair sighs and rolls her eyes before continuing.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “So basically we took all of their old clothes and I picked out a new wardrobe for them. They’re inside those dressing rooms putting on their new clothes now...We’re going to start filming the big reveal any second now...and then we’re going to cut and change locations so you can do your whole fitness bootcamp training session thing with them.”
Ryan Elias: “Sounds simple enough.”
Showrunner: “Alright, places everybody! We’re ready to film the reveal!”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “That’s our cue. It’s showtime!”
Taking Ryan Elias by the wrist, Blair leads him over to a plush white sofa set up for the scene where they both take a seat. Hair and makeup rush over to give Blair a last second touch up before everyone clears the set. The lead producer holds up one finger, then two, then three to signal that filming has begun and Blair looks into the camera before speaking.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “...and now it’s time for the big reveal! We took a pair of brothers from somewhere in the middle of nowhere USA with dreams of becoming professional wrestlers... and decided to give them a whole new sense of style before they head off with my pal Mr.Ryan Elias here to get a once and a lifetime opportunity to train with a real life former champion!...Let’s see how they look now...first up...Albert!”
A man named ‘Albert’ who is supposed to be the Al Envy lookalike emerges from one of the fitting rooms. He’s outfitted in a pair of modern looking designer duds, and looks alright but altogether unremarkable and lacking of anything special. Blair gives him the once over and smiles over dramatically and begins clapping her hands.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Oh Albert you look phenomenal! How do you feel?”
Albert: “Um...okay, I guess.”
Somebody coughed in the background breaking up an otherwise anti climactic moment. Blair could see one of the producers tilt their head back and groan in the background before motioning for her to move on.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Oooookay then...let’s see how your brother is doing. Come on out, Timmy!”
The doors to another fitting room open and out comes ‘Timmy’ the Tommy Kain lookalike who is dressed in a pair of tight metal studded denim jeans and a faux grunge designer graphic t-shirt. His outfit is on point and he actually looks pretty good although he appears to have something like a piece of fabric balled up in his hands. .
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Timmy, you look awesome!”
Ryan Elias: “Uh yeah...go Timmy!”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “How does your new look make you feel?”
Timmy: “I dig it! I mean, at first these tight ass jeans were super fuckin’ uncomfortable but I figured out it’s because I was wearing the wrong underwear.”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “....Oh?” She says, leaning in a little more interested now. “So wait, you’re going commando right now? How 90’s!”
Timmy: “Yeah baby...free as a bird!” He says, before launching the balled up fabric in his hands at Blair’s feet.
Ryan and Blair lean in to get a closer look at the fabric on the ground. Elias instantly starts dying of laughter. Upon closer inspection, Blair realizes that the fabric is actually a pair of worn out tighty whitey style briefs turned inside out to reveal a long streak out brown right in the middle of them. After realizing she was staring at this man’s ‘skidmark’, Blair’s eyes widened in horror.
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Oh my god what the fuck is that?!”
Ryan Elias: “aaaahahahahahahaha!!!!”
Blair Buchannan-Stylez: “Cut!! Cut!!!! Stop filming right now!!!”
Producer: “No way, this is fucking gold!”
Ryan Elias: “I am so glad I agreed to do this.”
He says, nudging Blair in her ribs with his elbow. Blair is noticeably elsewhere mentally which luckily nobody seemed to notice since all eyes were on Timmy. The camera was loving him and his goofy antics. This gave Blair the reprieve she needed because honestly her head was not in the moment at all. All she could think about was the gnawing feeling at the pit of her stomach. She’d had it ever since she learned about Sam Laramie’s secret. Deciding that she couldn’t live with it anymore, Blair gets up and walks off set. She then whips out her phone and sends a text to her husband while everyone else is preoccupied with filming. The text simply reads:
I have something I need to tell you.
XOXO